Winter moved inside "You need to keep warm," she said. It was well-meant advice but there's a huge difference between what a person needs and it's possibilities. If you do not have money to heart your home, cannot loan and no one helps you out there are no options left for surviving the winter. "It's not that cold yet," she mumbled wrapped in a blanket, wearing her hat inside. The social worker of the city looked around and couldn't help shivering from the cold. How could…
Nothing left I try to remember what I did today but I can't. Is there something wrong with my head? It's cold outside, dangerous inside and I try to watch my steps but I am so tired. It's not easy to be prepared for the worst. At home it's better I am. "Watch your steps, your words, be careful"... I try to remember these words but I cannot repeat them in my head. My head is tired or perhaps I am not a real human. My mother always repeats everything she says. It's dark and…
Easy does it Today, January 4th, 2020, is a slow day. Eyes infection for weeks, itching eyeballs and I cannot help rubbing them which of course makes everything worse. At 11 a.m. I felt as if the day was over. Although I woke up around 4 a.m. I decided to go back to bed. My eyes needed rest instead of gazing at a screen. The youngest felt cold for the first time. Feet placed on a hot water bag. I gave a blanket to wrap around the feet and the bag. It turned out school…
Alice in Borderland "Don't you think the stars look awesome without the city lights?" He laid on his back and looked at the sky above him. He had never seen so many glittering lights shining down on him. She didn't answer because she decided to sleep inside of the tent. She learned at a young age what he hadn't learned. Mosquitoes... "You have to learn to take care of yourself," she told him adding the 'I told you so' to it. "You better come inside the tent, you need a good…
Standing at the window "There you are standing at the window... It's the only thing you can do besides sitting at the window. You can watch outside but the outside is always the same. Empty streets. The only people allowed to be outside are the mailman and those who deliver the groceries. By now you are forced to shop online too unless you can provide for your own needs. Online shopping means you need to pay for the delivery which is something you can't afford. You wish you…
It's made out of cornflour! "Spaghetti is made out of cornflour," my bro living in Roumania said. "No, it's not it's made out of wheatflour," I answered, and to finally end that discussion I had a look at the ingredients of the only package in my cupboard. I studied it, read every word but no corn. Wheat it is. "It's wheat," I told him. It was years ago at the time we used MSN and I was right but so was he. The spaghetti he could buy was mainly made out of corn. With us…
Safe harbour It's hard to remember the past days if they are mainly the same. 'The same' sounds good to me it means no one bothers me and I can do as I like. I like it that way. It was the only reason I wanted to grow old, get older. To do as I like and to have the right to keep my door closed, not being forced to let people inside, answering the phone. Phone always has been an intruder in my life. I never liked making phone calls and if it rings I don't hurry to pick it up.…
Forthy-three She lay on her back fastened by leather straps to a narrow bed with a steel frame. She had long since given up trying to free herself. "If you live with spirits you die with spirits," were the only words he had spoken to her. "Live with... die with them..." The words kept repeating themselves in her head. It was more out of habit she kept her eyes closed. The darkness he had left her behind wasn't different from the one she had been used to her entire life. It…
Forthy-four "From now on, I will not try to resolve other's problems until they ask me for help", she thought but if it came to it she couldn't help interfering. It was in her DNA. Once she felt something was wrong she had to figure out what it was, as if an inner power forced her to keep on the trail, digging till the truth came out, or how they called it, to satisfy that inner feeling till it stopped nagging. It wasn't her problem but she couldn't understand why the woman…
Surving the cold winter **Cold** I can assure you the cold is killing especially if you need to deal with it year after year. The cold slowly eats you, gets into your bones. This has nothing to do with getting old. Some people can cope with cold easier, even might like it. It's true if you always live in a colder environment you get used to it. In some way you do even if your feet feel frozen and are red or even blue and you are shivering for cold. I know it happens to us.…
The scapegoat It's unsure if the prime minister (and his party) is liked but the fact is after one decennium he is still in charge and no matter how many failures he and his ministers made they stay. They stick around while others are removed and had to feel ashamed, punished, for the 'mistakes' not as big as what the present government makes. Hypocrites are they for sure, those ministers with big mouths telling others what to do and pointing them at their mistakes. Those…
Winter wonderland? It's long ago I posted some photos. Mainly because there isn't much new to share and I don't like to post time after time the same photo. Today I decided to make a few photos after I fed my beloved wolves. Why? Because it started snowing. "It's Christmas after all baby," I said to the oldest wolf. He might not be the most attractive wolf there is, naughty at times and a man who feels best if we all stick to the same schedule/rules but he is the greatest of…
Forty-five An insane hat was left behind on the marble floor. She smiled as she saw it and watched her through the doorway. "Are you seeing somebody?" She hesitated before she admitted she did. "It's just a guy, someone I met.." "Met where, how?" She shrugged and stared at the cup in her hands. "You know.. just someone outside." She knew it was pointless to ask for more information but her senses told her something wasn't right and the guy couldn't be trusted. "I promised…
The end of victory Is it disturbing to see how life changes? If you ask me it is. During the past decennial everything that was built in the Netherlands was broken down. The school doctor, school dentist was once introduced to provide in better healthcare, so was health insurance for all. The right to visit a dentist for a check-up twice a year was included. The garbage was collected once a week and we were raised with washing hands, keeping our house, environment clean.…
He hummed... and left. She tried to hide her bruises and felt as if her heart was ripped out of her. He felt no shame as he stepped outside and greeted the neighbours, she did and didn't want to be recognized. While he chatted and enjoyed his walk to the office she bit off her tongue and tried not to shout out loud. Ashamed she felt, bitter because she allowed him to treat her this way, a piece of trash was what he saw in her. If no longer needed you kicked it aside or got…
Back to school? **Cholera** You might think why I write down this illness but it's because I watched a youtube video made by a Dutch historian about epidemics in the city of Arnhem the capital city of the province Gelderland. This video is part of an online course. I must say it was a good start of my Saturday. I love history and this elderly man has a clear voice, humour used idioms and is a storyteller for sure. I learned something and shared the video with one of my…
Behind the window Today it is not that cold, the windows in my Today it is not that cold, the windows in my bedroom are not frozen. I feel cold though. The electric blanket nor hot water bag help me through the cold night. Going to bed is no fun. Cotton wool in my ears to prevent the earache, a hat that I lose during the night, a fleece blanket over my pillow with the sides folded around my head. Nothing worse than cold on the head, brains that literally creak. I am forced…
Farming I am harvesting. It's corn I harvest in my dreams three fields of corn. Why corn? I harvest more wheat, silk, rubber trees, strawberries, sugar and cotton. I farmed a lot lately... in my dreams. If my brains are busy with farming at night it's too much. I know I do because I frequently wake up and corn is the first I think about. I need to change that because "stupid games" clearly infect my brains plus I don't want google to think I like to be a farmer because of…
If your child turns 18 March 2021 one my children will be eighteen years old. Eighteen means adult. This wasn't the case as I was eighteen at that time twenty-one meant adult. How to prepare your child for acting like an adult, the fact it can sign, decide by it's own and has to take responsibility for it's own acts? It sounds odd to me. The child still visits school and has no education finished, no profession and a long way to go. Who will pay for it? It doesn't know how…
A lack of money As I was born the currency Hollandse florijn (Holland florin = hfl) better known as gulden still existed. The coins were made out of silver (250, 100, 25, and 10 cents) and copper (5, and 1 cent). They had weight. At my birth, my parents promised to safe 100 guldens a year for me. This meant at the age of twenty-one, the age I would be an adult, I would have 2100 gulden to start my life with. Not a bad amount although I believe they would have stopped at the…
If your mind tricks you It's all in your head. True or not? It is true. No matter how you put it, how you see the world, respond, each action is directed by what is in your head. The brain, your brain. It's your personal hard disk. Everything you saw, read, did, and thought is stored. The biggest part of it you might have forgotten but it's there. You might say you forgot, you might not be able to remember what you did or when you did it but your brain does. It remembers…
Christmas **It's nearly Christmas**. It feels such a long time ago Saint Nicholas arrived with his steamship. I watched him on television. He looks friendly, doesn't scare me it is just I don't like to talk to him. I am not sure if he likes to know how I feel. Perhaps he does. They say he knows everything. It's all written in his book. A thick red book. It's always with him. If the Saint knows how I feel how come he never mentions it and he asks me how I am doing. I know it…
Erin "I'm ruining your spring break," Erin accused themselves as we walked back up the beach. She was damned right and it wasn't the first time she did this to me. Erin was the type never caring about how I felt or the fact I had a life, dreams of my own. She disappeared if she felt to it and always showed up unexpectedly. Ready to ruin everything for me. She reminded me of Jessie' the one in that calls from a phone booth at 5 a.m. She makes me feel like a jester. The idiot…
If your internet connection is bad **Connection** No, it's not about talking to each other but about the internet connection we have to deal with. I tried everything to have a decent internet connection. I don't care if it's slower than promised but if you cannot even load a search engine, it takes over 20 hours to upload 35 Mb there is something seriously wrong. It's nothing new providers fool their customers. It's easy since once you are used to internet a new world is…
Kurt lost in space My phone is getting slower and slower and it's time to clean it up, just a bit. I have to because my 'notes' take ages to load. I intended to delete 10 to start with, just ten but it's hard, so hard since it's the place where I save a small part of those stories, freewrites, I wrote long ago. I started free writing at Steemit and before I joined Steemit I joined a Dutch platform. I liked it but after the site changed I was no longer able to load it and…
Your basic needs are... Basic needs, each one of us have them and they should be the same. What is seen for a basic need for foster children is a good example. With us it's called the three B's. Those B's stand for Bread, Bed and Bath. Bread is the food we need, Bed stands for a roof above your head and Bath(room) means being able to wash yourself, shower, hygiene (hygiene is an important part of being and staying health). If it comes to those needs there might be a…
Dropped *What you read underneath is an entry to the '31 sentence contest'. At the time I joined it was hosted on Steemit.com. What was it you needed to do?* *A photo was shown and you had to write a story that fittet to it. The photo was the prompt used but there was something extra. The story should be written in 31 sentences and... each sentence had a certain amount of words. If you like to be creative, puzzle a bit you can try it yourself.* *If you ever saw 'All dogs go…
If you cut the tree "That tree," she points at the tree I am standing underneath, "it has an awful lot of leaves." I wait for sure she has more to announce. I nod and wait. "Can't you cut it down." The neighbour had it with my leaves in her garden. Leave the tree dares to drop because it's Autumn. It's clear wanting a house with garden is not what nature lovers only do. I think, I need time to think this over. The house I live in is rented, the tree came with it and it is…
Replace that old standard I woke up early. I have a poster of Fats Domino. I am not sure if I like him but he reminds me of grandpa. Sometimes I go to the kitchen and watch my grandmother bake a cake. She uses a small old scales and doesn't want me to lick out of the bowl. She says the dough makes me sick but I like the taste and in the end, she gives the bowl to me. Today I stay in bed. I like to be alone and here there are no tasks to do. The shops are closed my grandma…
The most treasured item While I sit in my chair I look around me. One by one I observe the items I decorated the room with. The green curtains I once bought at Jysk, the cupboard my daughter no longer wanted and a friend transported for me, a side table she once had a fight about with her ex, the Samsung tv that was a present for the children but we rarely switch on, a small Spanish cabinet that once belonged to the aunt of a colleague, and the table and two chairs I bought…
If you are lost, miss something **Commune** Have you ever thought about living in a commune? It might be this doesn't sound attractive to you. If so you are not the only one. Most of us will associate it with a sect, living far away from civilization, isolated not only from the world but family and friends as well. A sect-like Jonestown a place where people were crazy enough to follow the leader and commit suicide. It was in November 1978 and I remember it well. Actually, I…
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