A vision (of 2023)
This year or actually the Chinese new year, the year of the rabbit should be a good one. Time for the tiger to leave. To many it was a harsh year, to a part of the population it was as harsh as each year. Most of us never climb a ladder, a part fell off it and 0.1% or 0.001% had a successful year.
I like to believe the rabbit (or hare) brings better times just like the Eastern bunny does. Where I live I am surrounded by rabbits. They are huge which means they have a good but also long life although there are cars, hunters, and natural enemies. They might sit still, and easily get in shock if in front of some headlights but they are fast. At least twice as fast as my dog.
Rabbits eat, run, hide and multiply fast. These are all things no longer important to me. It's not aging that changes my taste but the food industry, the chemicals, the bad smell of palm fat, trans fat, and magazine... Cheap ingredients.
I no longer need to run although I might rush once in a while but not lately. Running is not important, I (slowly) hand over the stick (responsibilities) to others. My children are getting older, making plans, and if they do I can too.
I am thinking about traveling and even moving again. Moving can't be realized now because of the wolves but I do ask myself if this is the place to grow old. Life here is good but I came for a reason and if that reason no longer exists. Soon I will no longer be needed to take care of my children. I could but I do not want that. I need a bit of life for myself after caring for others for the biggest part of my life. Although I have moments I say I have had a good life I have those bad life experiences saved in my memory. They might be hidden but that doesn't mean they are deleted. Those with Alzheimer's disease prove it. It's strange how a traumatic brain comes alive after so many years. Elon Musk and Bill Gates will change that once they place chips in people's brains and steer their thoughts and acts. Imagine each time you think out of the box, you think differently, a forbidden word pops up in your head you automatically receive an electric shock, or flashes of the right pictures will be shown. Inside your head, it will be a bigger mess than a computer with windows and the annoying blue screen (indeed I still do not have a computer and no television set either).
My plans for this year, my nearest future? I don't know, just like many, I don't know. Perhaps I should not plan anything and just go with the flow. Living this way makes life easier, less disappointing if you know what I mean.
I am still waiting till it's my turn, it does feel bitter to sacrifice myself for the children but I took that responsibility on my shoulders. One visited with friends at a university. I admit I am surprised it did. The youngest will work abroad for 3 months this Summer together with a friend. Both will have to travel over there by public transport. It will be quite a journey but for sure a good experience plus the opportunity to travel.
Parenting is about raising and letting go. If it comes to raising as a parent you most likely do it the old school way, the way your parents or grandparents did it. I never let myself be influenced by modern ideas on how to be a good parent. The only ones who can say I was are my children. For sure I am doing not everything right but I tried to be there, to solve issues, make their lives easier, and taught them how to act to get what they want which isn't easy because we always stay in line and wait and wait and it never is our turn unless we ask or get angry.
This year will be the year of exams, working experiences, making their own money for my youngest two children. The driving lessons finally started again (we had to ask for them) and while my children are running around I hope a bit and only do what is most necessary and hide. I do not feel the need to visit people or go out. I am happy my children have friends since that always have been hard.
No one over here will multiply. I did my share and my children do not want children. I am fine with that. Taking care of yourself is already hard enough plus the world is full of unhappy people, unwanted, hated, abused children. I do have worries if it comes to that. I am glad I will not put a newborn into this world right now. I pity these souls, all those children being abused, molested, brainwashed, manipulated. As a parent you need to be strong, to discuss with your children to show them the world, another reality of what is told and taught. The past three years were a good example of how crazy and blindfolded people are.
Indeed we are at war, we are pushed into it by allies, unchosen leaders who turn out to be sick maniacs, psychopaths. It's not the world I want to live in or I want my children to be in. I try to see it as a way to gather life experiences and with creativity, a positive attitude, and common sense it is possible for my children to do what they like, to build a life, a good life. We do not need a controlling world order to check each step of our life. We are neither the ones with debts nor those flying in private jets to Davos to discuss the environment (what a joke, do you know the wealthy ones do not want a c19-jabbed pilot?).
While my youngest children are growing up and spread their wings I should have time for myself. What a luxury that is. Time to do as I like. They say you never stop being a parent. That might be true but that doesn't mean I am still needed 24/7. I am just needed once in a while (or to cook, clean, and do the laundry).
My youngest feels happy and wants to leave which is fine. It's time to spread those wings and learn how to fly. Even if the flight isn't mine I can still listen to the stories and be happy with my children having a great time. It would take the burden and worries away of putting them in a world that I did not want for them, a world that gave them a hard time already. We are not going for a long life but a good, joyful one.
Just like the bird of prey I will sit on a branch in the sun and watch the rabbits playing, eating, running by. Unless the governments continue killing the elderly I could be alive for another 30 years which means we could meet in 2053 again.
I will ignore the world and go for a creative, great, and peaceful year for me and my children.