The cost of success

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2 years ago

Be a good boy/girl, ace your studies and you'll succeed in life. Many parents tell that to their children. While it makes sense, it is not 100% true.

A graduation ceremony marks an important point of one's life. It's the time to become independent. (Picture source: Unsplash)

Don't get me wrong, I'm all in for getting yourself well educated. I hold a doctoral degree myself, and I've been doing teaching. I've seen bright students struggle to get every detail right. Is this worth it?

Is a university a place to pass exams or a place to acquire knowledge? How valuable is it really to get the highest grade in each course? And more importantly, what is it that one gives up in order to get the perfect scores? Time is a limited resource. We look at the bank account to see what we can spend and what we can save but how often do we evaluate what is worth our time?

Every day I have 24 units of time, i.e., hours. I could... sleep during half of them, then drink during the other half and then repeat. That doesn't include writing online, so I'm apparently not just sleeping and drinking.

I could sleep for 4 hours and then I'm left with 20 hours to be productive, to relax, to practise my hobbies, and to spend time with family and friends. Sounds great! I could start the day by working out, let's say, wake up at 5 am, 1 hour in the gym, get my home in order, then by 7 am I can sit and read the news, then maybe do some arts depending on what inspires me. Then I spend 9 - 17 at work. Back home an hour later, bringing groceries, spending time with my family all evening, take the dog for a walk, then at 1 am I could go to bed! Sounds amazing!

Keeping the chaos under control is a major challenge. Nature aims towards higher disorder and we need to put in energy to ensure that everything stays in place. (Picture: Unsplash)

Well... when something is too good to be true, it's too good to be true. We know that. I've tried trading my sleep to study longer. I highly recommend against it. This becomes a vicious circle. Tiredness builds up slowly and you get used to it. It's the... new normal. You're tired but it's fine, you don't notice anymore. You get bad headache. Well, doesn't matter. You just have plenty to do, it's understandable.

One beautiful day you collapse. Mentally and/or physically. It's a wake-up call. This is a sign that something needs to be done. Oh, but I'll just get X done and then I can take a break for a while. Time goes on. Others notice you're not doing well. You know that you need a break. Yet you fear failure. How come you can't pull through? Are you some kind of jelly? No, have to go on.

You know you're a wreck. You wince every time someone mentions well-being and asks how was your day. You reply "busy" if it's a familiar person, to a stranger, it's just the pretty mask "good, thanks".

Is this a life worth living? We all agree that drinking all day is bad - it's harmful but also wastes money and your life. However, is burning out yourself in the name of perfection any less harmful? Why does our society encourage people to be hardworking and rewards those that accomplish amazing achievements without asking what they sacrificed for them?

Sadly, high demands towards performance can be deadly! As many as 15% of the patients with major depression commit suicide! A scientific publication discusses the matter,
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9457005/

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Sometimes it is really difficult to achieve success and at the same time to take care of your health, to sleep enough and to spend time with family. When I am tired I really feel like that is normal. My day is too short for everything what I want to do. Unfortunately.

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2 years ago

Yes, somehow society favours this unhealthy life style. It's really sad.

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2 years ago