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Today, after 1 year and 9 months, I talked to "her". It was a different feeling when I called. Although I made the call. I didn't speak at first after picking up the phone. When I saw that he was not speaking in silence for a while, I saluted him gently. Immediately Salan took the answer. Then when I didn't speak anymore, he asked, "Why aren't you saying something?" Need something? "Then I said softly" Hmm! You need help. "Then he asked, 'What help?'" I was hesitant to say anything, just mumbling. Why are you hesitating? Say no to fear.
Then I dared to say that it was necessary.
Then he just said, "I'll send it. Give me some time. I just said, 'OK.'
During this time I was feeling mixed feelings. Fear, shame, love. Although or my phone call carries the identity of meaningfulness. I called him when necessary. Yet he did not complain at all. Just met my needs in secrecy.