@trixdawson 31 July 2021 more from that month

My darling, I thought about you leaving me unannounced today

Our dreams had already closed the door to goodbye, and our feelings were walking arm in arm with goodbye at the last turn. Like a thin river, my luxuriant pupil springs forth, not knowing where it will reach. The color of my patched dreams has faded. I fit the years into a two-syllable sentence. Even though it was hanging on the pendulum on the edge of my tongue, my letters and the colors on its tail always looked sad.

My inner voice, which accompanies the nights I have seizures, is offended. Their land is dry. Drops of mercy are not falling. My fingers are grappling with the edge of my mind. It wasn't a refrain I believed; It was to sip hope and love as sherbet. They deemed it worthy of a farewell bolt on the door of my heart that I left offended, and they threw earth on it so that it would not breathe. I remember every morning a hope, every sunrise a flower that has just opened. I stretched curtains of tulle over my precious gaze, which I sprinkled at intersections on its sparkling roads. I scatter the stranded memories between the scissors, and I lay ulamas of colored cloth at the base of my heart. My sentences are saying goodbye. With love and hope. I do not lament after my sentences that bear witness to my groans. I'm blowing my prison years out of their cages now. I take the rusty lock of the cage door that I bolted out of my trunk. I want halal from my wasted hours, from my brain that turned into a garbage dump. Then my eyes turn to my left. My soul groaning under my misty eyes. I told him that you didn't stray from the way you know and you couldn't be understood. Forgive yourself. There are some other than us. You are with me, I am with you. I bid farewell to the shadow of all foggy clouds. I spent my life letter by letter, syllable syllable; The adjustment of my feelings in the grip of time when I gave up on myself while consuming has long passed. If we are allowed to say START from the port before the ship has sailed before our Lord, our lips are thankful. Despite everything, we continue to live the struggle. The weight of our saddlebag and our non-scabbing wounds should not derail us from our path. If we are armed with love and hope. Let's sing such kisses to the footprints of the past that even deaf sultans can hear it. Let's say goodbye for the last time to those who try to destroy us.

**My darling today - Poetry** In the third year of my absence I opened the door of yesterdays with you. Holding hands It occurred to me that we walked all the streets We get wet under the rain When eye to eye He apocalypse in our hearts And exactly the happiest person in the world When I say mine, take me to the cruelty of this world Leaving it inside I thought of you leaving me without knowing.. I laughed and cried at the same time. Every day after you're gone You just left me I'm setting the clock for sunset what a minute early I have patience nor too late I adjust my heart accordingly it wakes me up every day without even washing my face I leave the house and run towards the horizon my mother is always at the window I know she's crying behind my back But still i can't give up on you I'm so angry at these roads coming towards you Because they are longer. actually if i had it I never want to leave you If only you knew Every step I take how many daggers you stabbed in my heart But here I am, for my mother's sake.

Look, the sun is setting again In the red of the sky I see the fire of my heart hand thinks landscape what a pity i lost you just now a little bit early It will be dark if it's late Just like you So were you because Everything was light when I was with you Now it's pitch black.. I can't see in front of me even in the daytime. Because I can't cry anymore Aren't you angry with me? Don't think that I don't miss you with green prescription psychiatric drugs I can barely come to your grave nice, I'm drinking it for my mother's sake.. I'm not very good actually But don't tell anyone I'm glad for that Maybe I can come to you a little early.. What ignorant put These flowers on your head They did not witness from your flowers It smells better. My darling.. How quickly the hours pass When i'm with you I am more to you What would i tell luck is tomorrow. Look we're breaking up again Offend me like before You know, our people are very fond of I've already upset them too much. But believe me to come to you Every night I beg with my palms I believe this longing It will be over soon. This longing will end soon.