Are you that type of person that always care what other people think? Have you ever advise anyone that they should stop caring what others people think? Or have you ever told yourself not to get hurt about what other people think?
It's funny because if we really care what other people think, telling ourselves that we shouldn't care what other people think isn't really going to stop us from caring! And if we know somebody who really cares what other people think telling them not to care so much isn't actually stopping them from caring what other people think!
Thick skin vs Thin skin
Some of us have thick skin. Those who are unaffected by rejection or disapproval or if we are just more capable of suppressing that feeling.
Or some who have thin skin. Those who are affected by others words and action and take it to the heart as if we were stabbed.
And sometimes no matter how much we try to tell ourselves not to get affected by others we were still badly affected.
The truth is.
We really can't simply stop taking things so personally.
It's not a conscious choice that whenever people tell us to stop letting other people words hurts us we were able to just consciously choose in a snap whatever other people's words and actions don't hurt me. As if we have a button in our head that says "I don't give a f***!" Click, boom, "I don't care!" But there's none.
Now, how do we deal with it?
The first thing we have to do is to ask ourselves these questions,
WHY DO I TAKE THINGS PERSONALLY?
And,
SHOULD I STOP CARING WHAT OTHER PEOPLE THINK?
You have to answer it yourself.
But think about this.
If you stop caring what other people think, say or do, that is distancing behaviour which is what disapprovals are.
What you are doing is depriving yourself of the opportunity to see things from another perspective by not caring what other people think. We are separating ourselves from each other. We deprive ourselves of the opportunity to see ourselves in a different light. We will not develop self-awareness if we stop caring what other people think.
The thing is we should care what every person thinks. We should not be defiant to what other people think because that is just defence.
But remember as Teal Swan says:
There's a difference between caring what other people think and letting our entire self-concept believe what other people think!
I used to be with thin skin. I don't accept criticism and take everything to the heart. I don't want to get rejected. I don't wanna hear negative words or comments. Their words hurt me so badly and even if I tell myself "I don't care what they say!" the truth is I care.
But as you seek for your better self and aim for the best version of you, things started to change. You started to understand that if you see things and take them positively, you won't need to run from them and you will never get offended by them again. You deal with what other people say with an open mind. Some people are not born with zip on their mouth. And words are powerful enough to hurt one's spirit. But you are the one who has the last say. Your words to yourself are more powerful than the opinion of others.
And for all of us, may we all be aware of the words coming out of our mouth. We are not perfect and there are just things we cannot control especially our mouth and I too, am guilty of that. But we still try to be a better person who knows how to guard well thy tongue for the right reason. And to speak our mind knowing that our words are powerful to lift others or like a knife and break someone else's spirit.
Thank you for reading.
Lead Image Credits to: shutterstock.com
Till date I still get hurts from people's actions and word. Maybe it's because I Love too deeply...I'm working on myself already, trying to change and not be thin skinned