@thesotiris 13 July 2025 more from that month

How to Be Liked: Easiest likability hack

If you are an analytical or withdrawn person, you’ve probably encountered hurdles connecting with people, especially new people you’ve just met. You wonder how others consistently make a good impression when meeting new people, how they click from the first ‘hello’, and how they seem to be liked for no obvious reason. Why are they likable? It’s not like they offer any extra value? Why don’t people seem to want to connect with you? It’s not like you haven’t been courteous enough, right? I’d be lying to you if I said that you didn’t need people in your life. We are social creatures. We need to connect with others. We need a support system of well-intentioned humans, and we need a solid network to survive socially, professionally, physically, and mentally. With this hack I’m about to share, you’ll become instantly more likable to strangers, but also to people who’ve known you for a long time, but don’t seem to find you very interesting. Here’s the likability hack: Show some enthusiasm whenever you meet them, or when you initiate a voice call or messaging chat. That’s it: Enthusiasm whenever you greet people. People love to be cherished. We are all hopelessly insecure and in need of validation. Anyone who says otherwise is lying. Sure, some people need external validation more than others, but we all still need it as a point of reference for our perceived social and personal value. Think about it: Enthusiasm when you greet someone (physically or remotely) means you are happy to see them. It communicates that you value them. If you value them, then they will value you, at least as a source of validation. That could open the door for them to see more of your value. But take note: if you are valued only as a facilitator of their self-aggrandising, without them bothering to value you back as a person, then here is where you reevaluate your need to be liked by such people. How do you show enthusiasm for people? Use an enthusiastic tone full of exuberance, along with an encouraging, heartfelt smile, indicating that you are happy to see them. If you want to be liked by them, it means you like them already; so show how happy you are to see them (don’t be too proud). You can even tell them, “I am happy to see you,” or “Good to see you, man,” or “It’s been very nice seeing you, buddy”. It doesn’t get any simpler than that. Show enthusiasm when you meet someone new and whenever you greet them after that. Show that you value them. That’s it. And from then on, after you disarm them with your enthusiasm, you both have an opportunity to learn more about what makes each of you valuable as individuals. However, there are things to look out for. The emotions you display should be nothing over the top. Avoid over-ecstatic enthusiasm. Otherwise, you could be perceived as being overdominant or sarcastic. You might also make people uncomfortable as you force a hyped-up social frame on them that is too much for them to keep up with at the time. Instead, show mild, dignified enthusiasm, because another risk of overenthusiasm is appearing to be needy and flattering. Don’t be too timid and needy in your enthusiasm, as if you’re begging to be liked, like a sleazy, subservient gimp grovelling for sympathy. You are genuine in your enthusiasm. Being enthusiastic about them doesn’t mean you grovel before them. You just give them the benefit of the doubt that they are worthy of such enthusiasm… until they sufficiently prove they are not. Show enthusiasm from a place of safety and self-sufficiency. You don’t need their approval. You just want them to feel good about themselves without an ulterior motive. You can make someone’s day by just showing some excitement for seeing them, rather than the vapidly tiring, cool, nonchalant, detached demeanour we all have these days. It’s cool to speak with dignity and self-respect like James Bond, but it won’t make you any friends. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Be enthusiastic while retaining your self-respect: you are not supplicating or sucking up to them. You don’t need anything from them. You just want to make them a little bit happier in that moment. And what happens after? To form and sustain meaningful relationships of any type, you need to show genuine interest and curiosity in the things the people involved value… and they need to do the same for you. Otherwise, it’s not a relationship, it’s an acquaintance. Granted, mere acquaintances can also offer value and open doors for you. And for those, you only need to show people some validation every now and then: show you are happy to see them. Show some enthusiasm when greeting them. That is all.