@thesotiris 1 October 2025 more from that month

The Evil of Ill-Intentioned Empathy: When self-serving, faux compassion is more vice than virtue Compassion and empathy are virtues, but they can also be vices. How? What’s the difference? How do you know when your empathy is a virtue and when it’s a vice? Compassion and empathy can either be virtues or vices depending on their source, their drive, their motivation, and the place they come from. https://sotiris.substack.com/p/on-virtue Compassion and empathy are driven by care and good intent. But they can be malicious, self-serving, and pathological altruism when their aim is the **passive-aggressive, condescending belittlement** of their recipients, or the **narcissistic self-aggrandising** of the providers through **sanctimonious moral posturing**… or both. https://sotiris.substack.com/p/some-compassion https://sotiris.substack.com/p/selfish-altruism https://sotiris.substack.com/p/the-scourge-of-moralism Usually, **we confuse empathy with pity**, which is a narcissism that renders us susceptible to victimhood manipulation. This leaves us vulnerable to exploitation by professional victims who take advantage of our desperate need to pat ourselves on the back for being so “superior” as to pity others. This is Ben Garret’s confusion in his infamous tweet, “*Do not commit the sin of empathy. This snake is God’s enemy and yours too. She hates God and his people. You need to properly hate in response. She is not merely deceived but is a deceiver. Your eye shall not pity.*”

What Garret means here is **condescending sympathy from pity**, not **true compassion-driven empathy**. True empathy can exist, and because it is true and mutually respectful, it does not allow the empathiser to fall victim to the empathised. Pity is disrespectful — it’s treating people as defectives, granting them condescending special treatment that is supposedly to compensate for their deficiencies and relative inferiority. But it ends up insulting their dignity, reducing their self-confidence in their abilities, and attacking their self-worth. **We feel sorry for people from our lofty position of superiority**, which puts them down in an effort to **elevate ourselves by comparison**. This means that the drive behind our “empathy” is not true care and empathy; it’s instead our condescending arrogance, a subtle sense of **narcissism masquerading as faux virtue**. By flamboyantly displaying our passive-aggressive faux compassion, we presume to be superior to the object of our empathy, or rather, of our pity. True compassion and empathy come from a place of sincere care and love for someone else, not from narcissistic self-love. Want to empathise with people? **Don’t disempower them with your belittling, self-serving, faux compassion**. When we empathise with someone because we truly care for them, we acknowledge them as worthy individuals first (regardless of their tribulation), and then we relate to their pain, **granting them credit for enduring what we’re fortunate not to**. In contrast, when we show **faux compassion (sympathy from pity)** as a way to satisfy our sense of **superiority by comparison**, then “compassion” is reduced to a passive-aggressive bout of toxic positivity, with the added bonus of virtue-signaling and moral exhibitionism. When we use our fake empathy as an excuse to say “*I told you so*” or “*you weren’t as smart or as great as I was*,” then you become an evil, condescending psychopath who gleefully engages in schadenfreude, taking pleasure in the suffering of others just so you can tell yourself you’re great for beating up on the little guy. Applause… https://sotiris.substack.com/p/toxic-motivators-and-toxic-positivity https://sotiris.substack.com/p/why-the-west-is-ngmi-part-2 https://sotiris.substack.com/p/the-loudest-moralists-tend-to-be https://sotiris.substack.com/p/excuses-vs-explanations-part-2 https://sotiris.substack.com/p/the-narcissism-of-free-will Sympathy from pity is a good excuse for narcissists to pat themselves on the back, reaffirming their delusions of supposed moral superiority and virtuousness. https://sotiris.substack.com/p/the-subjectivity-of-moral-objectivism Feeling sorry for people is condescending arrogance. Stop it. **Key takeaway** I posted a video called “Some compassion”, which implores you to show understanding and empathy for each other. So, why am I telling you now not to feel sorry for people? https://sotiris.substack.com/p/some-compassion Because **true compassion and empathy** **are not about pity**; they are about empowering people. https://sotiris.substack.com/p/when-people-open-their-hearts-to Compassion and empathy give credit to people for their misfortunes. True compassion and empathy come with respect. Pretentious sympathy from pity, on the other hand, is disrespectful and aims at eroding the dignity and self-esteem of the recipient. Without self-regard, they are then sure to identify with their victimhood and have no reason to want to ever escape it. Your self-righteous pity creates pitifulness. Respect yourself enough not to need to pity anyone.

**Related articles:** **Why the West is NGMI [Part 2]** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/why-the-west-is-ngmi-part-2 **Sotiris Rex** https://substack.com/profile/58797461-sotiris-rex · **Feb 18** Western cultures possess a grave vulnerability; their sanctimonious self-righteousness. This holier-than-thou mindset puts Westerners at a disadvantage against cultures that value base strength over perceived piety. **Read full story** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/why-the-west-is-ngmi-part-2 **The noble savage myth** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/the-noble-savage-myth **Sotiris Rex** https://substack.com/profile/58797461-sotiris-rex · **May 11, 2024** The Westerner’s obsession with ennobling the savage (or at least what he deems as savage) is merely his coping mechanism for his internalised guilt stemming from his prejudiced judgments (whether fair or unfair). **Read full story** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/the-noble-savage-myth **Selfish Altruism** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/selfish-altruism **Sotiris Rex** https://substack.com/profile/58797461-sotiris-rex · **Jul 23** We are only kind to people when it is convenient for us to do so, as it validates our identity through consistent adherence to our principles, virtues, values, and ideals. We need those to define our individual self, to nurture our sense of self-determination, to grant purpose, and thus, meaning to what is otherwise a meaningless existence. **Read full story** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/selfish-altruism **No good deed goes unpunished** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/no-good-deed-goes-unpunished **Sotiris Rex** https://substack.com/profile/58797461-sotiris-rex · **October 6, 2024** Have you ever helped someone only for that someone to turn against you? “The ingratitude!” you think to yourself. Yet, haughtily expecting acknowledgment for your mercy is why you are the villain of your story. Let me explain… **Read full story** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/no-good-deed-goes-unpunished **Some Compassion** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/some-compassion **Sotiris Rex** https://substack.com/profile/58797461-sotiris-rex · **Jul 4** That woman you call a loser for not making much of her life? She was brought up by enmeshing control-freak parents. They taught her from a young age to dislike and distrust herself. This gave her a crippling handicap and a late start in life. She didn't get the same shots you did. But despite her wasted youth, regrets, and mourning of an unlived life, s… **Read full story** https://sotiris.substack.com/p/some-compassion