Family's Role: sexuality, sexual identity, sexual orientation

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2 years ago

Our family is committed to God, me and my siblings are raise to become religious persons. My mother is a daughter of a Minister in Iglesia Ni Cristo while my father is a convert member from Roman Catholic. We believed that marriage is sacred and engaging in sexual activities should be only done when you are married. It is a sin for us to have a live-in partner or get involve in premarital sex. In addition, our family is knowledgeable about sexuality. My siblings and I are educated about reproductive health in our different schools but it did not stop our curiosities about these things especially me, as I am taking Nursing course, we are open minded when it comes to this topic. We love to read and research about our health and most of the time I am sharing my knowledge to provide my family a health education so they will know what they will do in such circumstances. Although, our parents did not have a family planning, they discipline and lecture us that studying is important to have a good job for our future and so all of us became studious. When I was in my adolescent age (18 yrs. old), I asked my parents if I could have a boyfriend since our culture consider this as the “legal age”, and they told me that I should have a stable job first and find an employed and stable man to marry. They do not forbid us to have a relationship with someone but they just want us to have a good life. In fact, my parents were allowing us to have a relationship when we reach the age of 23. But I think that time, I do not have a stable job yet and still studying so maybe that is still not my right time.

In our religion, gender/sexual identity have only two kinds: female and male and having other genders considered as a sin. In our family, we do not have other genders other than male and female but we are aware with other genders/sexual identities and respect them. I once asked this to my parents and siblings if they had an instance where they ask themselves if they are a male or female and then they said that they did not had that kind of idea because they are sensibly aware of their own gender. I had that kind of question when I was at my 13 years of age because I was curious about myself if I am a female or not. I loved wearing men clothes that time because it feels comfortable for me. I also loved doing a man’s job rather than helping with the household chores. I was following my dad with his work like when my dad goes to the farm and will use the hand tractor then I will put my feet in the mud to think that I was helping him but actually not and the next thing I knew, my dad yells at me and tells me to wash my feet so I ended up watching him inside the “kubo” until he finishes his work. Or helping my dad with fixing our electric fan. And sometimes, lifting a pail with water or digging the soil using shovel for the manure of our domestic animals. Lastly, when I was a kid I loved playing toy cars than holding a Barbie doll the whole time. Then, at the age of 13, I asked myself why do I love doing man’s stuff than female’s stuff? But when I experienced to have a crush at a guy, the distracting thoughts started to fade away and started to act and dress myself as a girl.

Furthermore, sexual orientation has become a trending topic in our country. And as a Gen Z, me and my siblings are aware and understand the different types of sexual orientation. But I must say, that my parents were not that knowledgeable about sexual orientation although they did watched it on the television, MMK, they do not know what are different types of sexual orientation or they do not know how to name it. As I said, our family culture does not have other genders other than male and female. So, we are not tolerating the idea of having sexual intercourse with the same sex (Homosexual), as well as for bisexual, and with those people who had sex change operations (Transgender).

Apparently, our family’s understanding about sexuality, sexual identity and sexual orientation were influenced by our religion and beliefs in God, education, and parenting style/guidance. And because of these factors, our family is well-disciplined and aware about sexuality, sexual identity and sexual orientation.

NOTE: this is based on my family's perception about sexuality, sexual identity and sexual orientation, I'm not discriminating anyone as we respect any genders.

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