@softywicce 2 November 2021 more from that month

Good evening everyone! I'm so busy today and this is the only time that I opened noise cash. I had a video call with my twin niece and nephew, I also talked to my aunt and my cousin whom I considered as my guardians for 18 years. After that, I watched a new episode of Toni Talks on YouTube, it was about the life of K Brosas, specifically her childhood life. I feel like most of us can relate to this, most of us grew up in a toxic environment where our own parents or guardian hurts us physically, verbally, emotionally, and mentally. I can totally relate to this because even if I'm not a perfect child and have commited mistakes, there are painful words and actions that my guardians left in me. Of course, I feel responsible for my mistakes and I want myself to be better but I can't help not to remember what I've been through. I don't want to blame them for all, for who I am, because I already recognize my flaws as a part of me which I created but that doesn't also change the fact that what they told and did to me affects what I am today and what I am fighting with. On the good hand, there's only 3 person whom I can talk to about all my struggles (which is my boyfriend, my best friend since grade 1, and my best buddy since grade 7) because they don't invalidate what I feel, my bf gave me an advice that if I feel bad for myself because I'm not good enough then I should try my best to grow and be the person whom I want to be. Meanwhile, my best friends are good listeners, they don't judge me even if I'm completely wrong; they try to understand my situation and give me advices as well. Life will always be tough, it's not complicated but it is definitely challenging. We just need to have someone in our life who are willing to understand us, to listen, and empathize. We can get through it all then, it will all be worth it. #RandomThoughts