@remona 12 December 2021 more from that month

Proving my Worth over Enjoying Life!! - The mistake I made. There's an experience sharing trend on social media going on. I don't know if you have noticed it or if you are into this type of content but I absolutely love some of them. It's something like, **"Tell me about ___, okay, I will go first"**. And they will talk about their experience and then others will join the chain. In a video, I get to learn so many things about others' experiences. I believe it's a nice way to expand our perspective and understanding about others, their culture, and overall life. So while watching a similar video, the content creator asked to share about **anything that you put too much effort but in the end, you came to realize they are not that important as you thought.** And one woman answered, how she put endless effort to get a perfect GPA while compromising with her mental health, how she worked hard proving her worth rather than enjoying life. And this statement hit me so hard. I was like, this is me, we are in the same boat!!

Image source https://pixabay.com/illustrations/hectic-woman-face-arrows-stress-1738072/ *This made me realize how I wasted half of my life proving my worth. It's not like I never knew what I did wrong. But coming through the clear-cut statement made me understand why I need to get over that attitude.* You may wonder why I'm saying so. Let me explain... I was a straight-A student throughout my academic life. No need to say how much effort I had to put in to be steady in that position. My family expectation was higher, I knew that I have to answer if I get even 79. It was never easy no matter how talented a person is. This attitude reflects on my whole life. Everywhere I push myself extra hard to be the achiever, reach the goal, get what I want, be a perfectionist. No shame to approve that this took over my enjoyment from life a little bit. I do have many wonderful memories, many adventurous experiences. But the effort I put in was enormous compared to them.

Image source https://unsplash.com/photos/smaS_Uxg4L0 And now look at me! I'm not the person anymore. I give up the career. I came through a lot to make the decision. But now while doing my things, it makes me happy. So if I say, that effort was 'a little too much' it would not be completely wrong. *Because it was never like I need to get the highest GPA for a good job but it was more about proving myself to my family, to my institution, to society, and to myself too. It was about pride more than anything else.* In this race, I compromised with enjoying life, focusing on what matters most. It affected my mental health. Now I can proudly say that I'm far away from this. I no longer feel the need to prove myself, or maybe a little, deep inside. I'm working on getting rid of it too. Don't make the same mistake as I did. Have a good day, everyone.