@remona 28 October 2021 more from that month

The true color behind everything!

Struggling to find the reasons... Ah, I was always dumb. Probably I shouldn't use 'was' either! *There are reasons behind everything and consequences after everything. This was my learning from childhood. Finding these two things unknowingly made my life complicated. It took me many years to understand this. Yes, I became more conscious, I make fewer mistakes than before because of this understanding. But deep inside, there's a feeling like I'm falling apart.* I was a lonely child from the very beginning. I was the middle one in my family. Always used to get less attention than the other two. Maybe this made me more conscious, more protective about my surroundings. After all these years, when I look back, I never see a smiling child. You may wonder, why I'm saying all this? What's the relevance? Let me explain. I believe, because of my lonely childhood, I became an idealist. I see life differently and I got the prove many times. It made me wonder, why I became so. When everyone is busy traditionally enjoying their life, when people are going with their flow, I always walk back, walk in the other way. I was the one reading a book in the middle of a party.

*Did I consciously do so? No, I never find that true. Then why so?* I think this is because I always tried to see the true color behind everything. My world was full gray most of the time. It helped me a lot to find the right path and I believe I'm walking on the right path. But again, there's no happiness in gray! Now I hate this lonely walk. There's no one in this path. I find only a few with similar minds, it makes me feel more alone. I can't share, I can't open up what's going on in my mind. And even I do so people stare at me like I'm the crazy one. Or probably I'm the one! So... **I would suggest, do try to find the true color behind everything but never lose yourself in the gray. Enjoy, fulfill, and be happy. We don't have to always know the reasons and calculate the consequences. Life is not math. Have fun and decor your life with colors, which I failed to do. Don't do the same mistake.** `PhotoS: My mobile click`