Everything that I left behind, everything that matters...

Someone told me the other day, "if you have too much time to notice every detail, you don't have enough big things."

I feel somehow probably it's true.

I don't have many huge things going around me. I'm nobody, I'm nobody's nobody. I mean 'nothing'. I don't add much value in that sense.

But I do exist, just like you!

Just like any insect or a small plant I do matter too. If you are struggling in any means, know that this goes the same with you. So don't let anyone make you feel low.

This may sound like I'm struggling with self-esteem but I'm not. Yeah, there used to be a time when it was true. But I managed to find the meaning of 'me' within.

It's okay if you notice the details around you. It's fine if small things make you happy. Life is not always about dealing with big things. You don't have to be the 'important' one. You can't maintain that position. So being happy with small things can be your ultimate strength.

I said goodbye to everyone and came to my city apartment. Yeah, stuck again!

Life will be difficult in many ways, here. But the memories I brought back will be enough to fuel me. I had the time to notice the things around me, every detail that was going on. The plants in my mom's and mother-in-law's garden, the wrinkles on their faces, how they are growing old, things around my house, the old penholder that I had two decades ago, how people change in just one year, how things going on in their life...

There are uncountable things but nothing is not huge. It may seem meaningless to the person next door. But to me, it's everything that I count on.

Otherwise, what would be the fuel for my life?

We never listen to the people who are not an achiever in that sense, they do have their side of the story. I have met so many people who are happy with their life, ding great than anyone else. But we call them looser just because they didn't achieve certain things. Now I laugh at those who think this way. Because I know what matters most. I feel happy for them who found happiness in small things. We are all not capable enough or ignorant to find that kind of happiness.

I left behind many things, many small things that would pop into my mind. I will carve new things here, gradually they will take over everything.

That's all I have. That's all that matters...