@rah 27 April 2021 more from that month

I am so proud of myself and my little man. Those of you who have been following me over the last couple of weeks since my son was born know how I have been struggling with some of the basics. Well today there was a breakthrough - and a lesson He'd been out with his mummy and granny and granddad and when came home my wife and father in law went immediately back out and my mother in law had stuff to do - so I had to deal with him. To be honest my terror has receded quite a lot but I was still a bit uncomfortable with handling him - for those who don't follow - it is because he is so tiny and I am worried about hurting him accidentally. So I put him on the mattress and changed him - really easily - and then... I picked him up naturally and normally - just like everyone else has been able to. It felt good it felt right and it felt normal. He was quite happy and I was too stunned to get emotional about it. I HAD DONE IT! Not only that but a bit later he needed a nappy change and picking up again and a feed. It's like everything just clicked. It wasn't perfect. I still need some help to cradle him in the right position for feeding or to turn him to burp him. BUT IT WAS A MASSIVE MASSIVE STEP Ok some of you may think I should just get on with it - and yes you are right - but I have struggled so much with fear of hurting him and here is the key lesson This morning I did it and that's all I did. i didn't think, I just did and by just doing I didn't overthink! Longer than usual post, but for the first time other than when we fell asleep next to each other a couple of days ago I actually enjoyed being with him without worry gnawing at the back of my mind <3 <3 <3 #ChildRearing