@rah 25 September 2021 more from that month

Before reading this please note I am not complaining - certainly not. Most of you know I became a father this year - BabyRah of course - you may also have noticed that I refer to myself as an older father (?) Well I am turning 50 very soon and I must say one of life's frustrations is that I often struggle physically with what I should be doing for BabyRah (and MamaRah). About three years ago I was diagnoised with arthritis in my hips and my knees and back aren't great either. So I live every day in at the very least discomfort and even fairly straightforward tasks like assembling BabyRah's chair take it out of me. It only took about 20 mins but the bending and crouching and generally flexing has pretty much f****d me up for the day and it means that I can't always be the father I should be. However, I am determined and loving and sometimes I push myself beyond. Remember all those walks I was taking BabyRah on recently to give MamaRah a break? Well that's just me and I'll always do that - such is my love for both of them. That's also why I needed a rest recently. So - I hear you say - why didn't we have BabyRah earlier. After all I have been with MamaRah for 14 years now. Well it's very simple - we tried and nothing was happening and in 2019 a medical intervention to improve our chances nearly killed her when it went terribly wrong. I literally didn't know if I'd see her again as the hospital here pretty much showed me the door (Polish health care isnt known for its compassion). Thankfully she fully recovered and just over a year later we fell pregnant with BabyRah MamaRah made me whole and BabyRah makes us complete. Would I changed anything? Of course I would. To spare MamaRah all of the agony and pain she went through to have had BabyRah earlier so I had the physical attributes to be the father he deserves. Of course I would change that. But it could have been so much worse. Perspective is everything. In 2019 I was left almost as a widower, in 2020 we were expecting and in 2021 BabyRah arrived. And I wouldn't change that for the world, even if my joints complain and resist at times. I guess what I am trying to say is that however hard life is try to keep some perspective and if still you despair reach out. The late Tom Moore who died last year at the age of 100 after raising £33m for the NHS in the UK lived by the motto that "tomorrow is a a new day". He broke his hip and yet determination pushed him to complete his feat of walking around his yard. So as well as my great love for my fami;y that is perspective and that is why I keep going through the pain. They deserve more, so I will always go above and beyond...