Raise an independent child

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2 years ago

Parenting is a most beautiful, but also the hardest "job" in the world. Mothers and fathers are faced with doubts, challenges, fears, with questions about whether they are raising their child properly. Parents are confused with all that books, researches, news and advices for parenting, but I think we should not complicate parenting.

In this article, I will try to present my "knowledge" about this subject, because I have little experiance in parenting (I am self mother of one 8 years old boy), and this things works in our family. These "rules" was made from need to learn my child to do some things without my help, because that save our time which we can spend on other, nice things. Later, I found out that this rules are good basic for further life. Doing this, you will raise an independent child, who will be gratefull for that one day. So, if you apply this simple habbits, you will see how they are useful for all the family.

Allow the child to make mistake

If you want to raise an independent person, you must sometimes allow your child to make mistakes. He must learn to do something without your help. Remember: you must think for a long-term. Perhaps today will not be easy, but for a few years you will have a teenager who, for example, knows how to do laundry himself! Or to make his breakfast when he is home alone. So, let him do it himself today, because it is good for his future. Don`t be afraid: before you jump in to help your child with a physical task, ask yourself ‘Is my child in danger?’ Then ask yourself if the child has the necessary skills (dexterity and balance) and basic needs met (is he sleepy and full). If the answer is yes, let the child just try to complete the task.

Homework rules

First, do the hardest things. Second, move your cell phone. For homework, a child may need technology, like a computer, but at least during that time he doesn’t have to send text messages. And finally, when homework is finished, put books, pencils and notebooks in the bag, and prepare it for the next school day. This three-step process can be easily adopted by the child, so you will have to ‘harass’ him much less for performing school duties.

Practice daily acts of kindness

Teach your child that we need to help others every day, not just when it’s the holidays. Encourage your child to do a little good thing at least once a week, whether to help a friend or neighbor clean up fallen leaves. By focusing on others, the child will learn what it means to be grateful.

Be strict about bedtime

Research has shown that 7-year-olds who do not have a set time to go to bed have more behavioral problems than those who go to bed at the same time every night. And without these, we all know how routine is important for everyone, especially for kids. They simply love rutine. It make them feel secure.

Don’t give your child money when he cleans his room

If you reward a child with money when he makes a bed, he will expect money every time you ask him to do something or to help you with household chores. Instead of "paying for work" you can give your child a monthly allowance to learn how to manage money properly and for overall good behavior, but don't reward him with money on a daily basis.

Teach him courage

Do you want a confident child? Let him learn from your example about the small, healthy risks in life. For example, go to the cinema on your own and then explain to your child why it is not something that should make them feel uncomfortable (many adults do not want to go to the cinema alone because they are uncomfortable). Or, let your child see you laugh when you realize you’ve been wearing a T-shirt upside down all morning, instead of being ashamed.

Do not cook special meals for the child

Of course, you will not apply this at babies. A child about 2-3 years old must learn to eat what his parents eat. He doesn’t have to eat everything you’ve prepared for lunch, but he does have to choose those foods that will provide him with nutrients. It is much more important that the whole child eats during the day or week than one balanced meal.

Overcome fears

If a child is afraid of a dog, do not take him to the other side of the street when the dog is walking towards you. Demystify fear. Say ‘Look, puppy! Let's ask the owner if we can scratch him and feel how soft his fur is. ' When a child, for example, goes vaccinated, be compassionate, but not too emotional. Say ‘Everything is fine. It’s over in a few minutes ’, instead of‘ I know, it hurts! ’.

Take care of your child, but also, take care of YOU!

If you want to be a better parent, you must first take care of yourself. Parents who deprive themselves of rest, food, and entertainment for the good of their children are not actually doing anyone any good. Many parents feel guilty because they work a lot, so they want to dedicate all their free time to their children. But such behavior often results in emotional and physical exhaustion. Taking time for yourself is very important, even if it was only 15 minutes of relaxing, warm baths, reading the book or drink a cup of coffee with neighbour.

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