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Postponing self-love: Do you accept yourself as you are?
Do you think you accept yourself as you are and love yourself as a whole with all your pros and cons? Or is your self-love dependent on certain conditions? When will you truly love and accept yourself? When you lose weight and reach your ideal weight? When you get that diploma? When you get your dream job?
Most of us love ourselves is dependent on certain conditions. If, when we were children, our family members showed their love for us only when we fulfilled their wishes, it is not surprising that the love we give ourselves is now conditional. If you love yourself only when you fulfill certain conditions, the concept of “unconditional self-acceptance” can come to your rescue.
Unconditional self-acceptance, I am always proud to intern at his eponymous institute and meet him. It is a concept structured within the framework of the Rational Emotional Approach developed by Albert Ellis. According to Ellis, unconditional self-acceptance is self-acceptance without the need for characteristics, character, achievement, purpose, social approval. According to Ellis, a person should accept himself with his flaws. The key features of unconditional self-acceptance are:
Even if the individual's performance is not good, he/she must accept and respect his/her self with determination,
Self-acceptance and self-respect, even when noticing behaviors that seem contrary to their goals.
Evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, not your self
Accepting and loving yourself exactly as you are right now… Although it may sound impossible, it is quite possible to reconcile with one's inner Yin Yang. In the meantime, accepting yourself unconditionally should not be perceived as standing still. Of course, the desire to improve one's self-improvement is perfectly normal and also a good thing. But if the reason behind our desire to improve ourselves is that we think that there is a mistake or a deficiency in ourselves, then there is something wrong with this business. Putting our self-love on certain conditions pushes us to unhappiness.
Let's say you have a habit of procrastinating. And because of this habit, you cannot love yourself fully. First, you can start by admitting that you have a habit of procrastinating. If you want, you can work on changing this habit. But while doing all this, you can continue to love yourself as someone who has the habit of procrastinating. In short, some of the features you don't like should not prevent you from loving yourself.
We are all human beings with right and wrong. To accept oneself unconditionally is to accept that we are human beings who can make mistakes. Come stop loving yourself only if you are successful in what you do. Accept and love yourself exactly as you are right now. Likewise, accept everyone around you as they are. If we accept ourselves and others as they are, the world will become a better place, believe it.
By the way, I want to talk about something. I often ask my readers "So how are we going to solve the problem you mentioned in your article?" I'm getting e-mails. Posts on psychology, including my own, can be helpful for awareness. But the main thing to do is to solve your problems related to psychology with us psychologists and/or psychiatrists. Remember, awareness that does not lead to behavior change is of no importance.