Wrong usage of being a mother

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Avatar for mommykim
2 years ago

August 04, 2022

It's been raining cats and dogs ever since earlier and I can't go out so I am just here in the building's hallway trying to write something while staring at the droplets on the parked cars and on the guardhouse in the village.

I was scrolling Tiktok when I happen to come across this Pastor telling the sad truth about some mothers whom are using their role as the Mother in wrong ways.

I, for one, am a mother of one and I also have siblings whom I am living with together with my family.

What the pastor said about some mothers is partly true as it's a very common kind of thing.

We all have complaints about our mothers , let's accept that and our mothers were not perfect either for they also tend to make mistakes as they're also mere human and not robots. The pastor then point out certain mother behaviors that I often saw and hear a lot these days.

Some mothers tend to:

Let's you save you siblings asses from their own mess

  • One particular situation is when your brother/sister are having trouble with her finances as they tend to be gamblers and they we're stuck with their debts and your mother ask you to help them

  • When the your sister got pregnant or when your brother made his girlfriend pregnant and your mother ask you to help them shoulder the hospital finances even though you are not of help when their having s3x.

  • When your mother would ask you for cash to help your unemployed siblings instead of helping them get a grip and start finding ways to earn

Boast on raising their kids even though she is of no help along the way

  • Some mothers just gamble all day and lets their children help themselves in their education else they'll just starve and she can't help them with that but when their children made it and achieve their dream she be telling people that she's the reason why her children became successful.
    ( I had a classmate before and his mother always gamble and even though he's hungry and can't even come to school as he has no food nor allowance but he still come and study, he dreamed of escaping the hell from his mother's grip and luckily through his perseverance he is now a registered nurse working overseas. His mother kept on telling their neighbor about his success although they already know that she's of no help with my classmates success in life)

Always cover up the mistakes of their children even though they are in the wrong

  • Not in dramas but in reality, sadly most mothers would go beyond measures just to protect her precious child. Even though the truth is her child's the on doing the wrong deed.

  • Instead of disciplining the child, she would find ways to turn the tables and make it so that her child is the victim.

Lastly, playing a victim all the time and point out that you don't know how to give back to the ones who raise you.

  • Mother's sometimes would say that it's time for you to take care of them instead as they were the ones who nurture you up until you are capable of living yourself alone but let's your siblings together with their family be included in the package.
    I know some of us here are in a situation where you need to feed your mother and also your in-laws and the kids.

  • Saying she sacrificed her youth and mid years just to raise you.
    Well, it's not the child fault that they came to the world earlier that expected, it's because some mothers were careless and only think about lustful activities without minding the consequences and now blaming the child for a sin they didn't commit.

There really are a lot when it comes to behaviors of our mother and we are no different for we also tend to misunderstand their actions or their purpose on doing it.


I am not saying that all mothers are like that still and didn't change. My Mum is not perfect too, she have lapses and we often bicker but we both know that we are still in process of learning on how to get through life. Learning to know your mistakes and to ask for forgiveness is a good practice too.

A mother should be the confidante of the child and not their mortal enemy.

(All stated above are just my mere opinion, any criticism and judgement are well accepted in the comment section)

Thank you for reading!
@mommykim

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2 years ago

Comments

Hindi maganda yung pagtakpan ang anak kahit sila yung mali mommykim. Yan din talaga ayaw ko kasi ma spoil yung bata pag ganun. Kakampihan mo kahit alam mong mali. May mga moms na ganun.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

di talaga maiiwasan yan beb lalo na pag naging nanay ka,,,may mga times na nadadala sila nang emotion nila..pero kung pagsasabihan lang sila ang masinsinan at ipa intindi sa kanila ang mali nila baka di na umabot na maging spoil ang anak at mapasama ang nanay in the future

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I agree with all of these, mother's love are being out of the line sometimes, though it's clear that their son is the suspect yet they still blame the victim for their carelessness. Its such a sad truth that mothers are also favoritism sometimes, they tend to focus on single child and neglect other children that she have. Also, mothers always blame their children once they are cornered by their own wrong doings, it's one of negative sides of being a mother.p which abuse the authority since they are the one who delivered and raised the children.

$ 0.02
2 years ago

and if only the children would tell the mother regarding her behavior towards the other children maybe the momentum would change and the favoritism over one child would lessen

$ 0.00
2 years ago

May kanya kanya talaga tayong rason minsan e kung bakit natin pinagtatanggol pa kung ano ang mali.

$ 0.03
2 years ago

minsan ganyan mama ko pero di ko naman siya sinisisi pino point out ko lang minsan mga mali niya para malaman din niya hihihi

$ 0.00
2 years ago

It would absolutely be best to discipline our children rather than covering up for their own mistakes so they'll grow.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

if only they applied it to their daily routines then more or less no child's gonna be walking the wrong path

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Have encountered mothers who never supported their children but when it is time, they will want them to take care of them. It is always annoying, though they are still mothers.

I don't support the first point, how will I clean the mess of my siblings simply because am the eldest. No mom, that won't work

$ 0.01
2 years ago

some children have guts to contradict their mothers but most don't...

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Siguro ter dipende jus kung unsa pud sila pagpadako sa ilang inahan, mostly history repeats itself pero sa mga karaan na generation common jud ng mga ingana pero murag maihap nalang na karon. Sa part nako akong regret lang sa akong mother kay dili niya e push sa amo mga gusto na bisan kabalo siya na maayo para namo, kung baga mahadlok siya na mulayo me. Karon kay inahan naman ko ako jud ginaingon sa akong mga anak na di sila mahadlok mu explore as long as for the better.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

kana jud ter...mahadlok ang inahan...samot na sa akong part kay youngest man ko...never jud ko naka attend educ. tour kay mahadlok akong mama

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Nakakita sad ko sa Tiktok ana mommykim. Sad reality. Murag halos tanan mama ing ana jud ug mindset bitaw.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

that's why I'm always telling my son to tell me kung tama ba akong gibuhat or dili karun nga naa na sad siyay say sa mga lihok nako

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Napanuodnko din sa tiktok kanina to. Me as a person, as a friend or even as a mother, mali ka pag mali ka pero kapag mali ako sabihin mo din na mali ako sa paraang maiintindihan ko. Hindi porket anak kita, pabor ako lagi sayo. Dito nagsisimula ang pagiging spoiled, brat or pagiging entitled ng bata eh.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

nakadepende talaga yan sa pag control sa attitude eh at kung yung mother is marunong ihandle ang mga ganyan for sure magkakaintindihan lahat

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I can understand your perspective, and what the pastor said. I am lucky to have mother who is supportive.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

good for you dear...better treasure her forever

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Relate an relate ako dito sis though maliit pa ang mga anak ko. Pero never kong tinakpan ang kasalanan nila.

Ganun tlaga ang busy sis, sino ba namana ang magtutulunganedo sila lang naman. Okay lang siguro humingi ng tulong but never in a co. Pulsory way na mag dedemand na ng amount to help kaso kanya kanya nang buhay eh

$ 0.01
2 years ago

kaya nga eh at dapat mag isip din muna kasi may mga personal din na problemang pinagdadaanan ang ibang miyembro nang pamilya hindi kayo lang

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Motherhood is a crucial job. There's no manual on how to do it properly. That's why moms need to rely on God's word to be able to raise the kids well.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

and they also need to hear their children's opinions but not in a heated argumentation

$ 0.00
2 years ago