@mizuo 5 January 2022 more from that month

How would you give advice for this guy? "My elderly mother is demanding money and other things, and I can't take it anymore." I am a man in my 70s. I would like to talk about my mother who is in her 90s. 　My mother took care of my children for about five years after my wife died of an illness about 30 years ago. In recent years, she has been living alone and her life has become difficult, so for the past five years I have been providing her with about one million yen a year (Approx. 10000USD). My mother has never said a word of "thank you" to me. 　She recently underwent an operation and is now in the hospital, but she says she wants to go to a facility. She wants me to sell the house I am currently living in in order to pay for her to be institutionalized. I am sick and tired of being involved with her. 　My parents divorced when I was an adult, but before and after the divorce, I was treated as if I was my mother's servant, doing everything as a matter of course. But why should I give up my own life to take care of my mother? I don't want to cause any trouble for my children. (Shinzo, male) RESPONSE by Soichiro Nomura, doctor Your mother, even when she is in the hospital, seems to have a lot of demands on her ....... It may be an overstatement to say that she is a "toxic parent," but it seems that so much stress is flying at you that you want to say so. 　So what's the problem?　You are asking yourself, "Is it necessary for me to give up my own life to take care of my mother? I guess the answer is, "There is a limit to filial piety. If the current state of affairs continues any longer, we may both collapse. 　So what can you do in this situation? Considering your own health and retirement, you can't afford to spend any more money. In the real economic situation that your mother is in, you need to find a facility where she can live with only her pension. In order to do this, she should confide her situation to the life counselor at the hospital where she is currently hospitalized, find a facility where elderly people like her can live, and make arrangements for her to move in. I think that would be your role. 　You may feel anger toward your mother, but you should act without hesitation. I'm sure your children will be watching your actions. https://www.yomiuri.co.jp/jinsei/20220103-OYT8T50017/ #01042022