Perpetual

PERPETUAL

(Trigger warning : Sexual assault, Pedophilia, Rape)

A priest came to me saying that I was fit for serving the lord when I was 8. Me, as a young boy, seeing divinity as power to help and serve the people, I devoted myself to priesthood. I became a servant of the church, attending to every mass and having the privilege to serve the altar. The lord’s light shone upon my forlorn heart as it paved the way for a better outcome of my life. Ever since my parents died of the accident 2 years ago, I begged the streets for survival, crushing my dignity with the different mockery of people towards me. My pride has never been tainted, until now that the lord took me home.

It was the last mass of New Year’s Eve, as expected majority of the town came to worship at the church. I love seeing the faces of families elated by the coming of holiday. I watched in delight as the priest who took me shelter, is the one who’s giving homily about family and the love of God. Life couldn’t get so much better. I was a bit envious about the part where he said, “Parents, take care of your children, for they are the bearing fruit of your home.” I shed a tear of how lucky they can be.

The mass was finished, and everyone went to their respective homes. As servers, we tidied up the place, and made sure everything was closed. I glanced at father, who gave me a wry smile, I guess it’s a job well done. I bid my farewell, to some of the servers who doesn’t live in the parsonage.

As I was returning to my room in the parsonage, I was approached by father, who I call out of respect and his position. “Your services have really rendered the church productive for these past 5 years son,” He said calmly. The shadows hid his hand sliding through behind me. The horrors came back that only these dim lighted walls saw. Suppressed rage flows through my veins, I need to have a calm demeanor or I’m one of the dead people that rots below the ground.

“I’ll tend to my room first, father.” I said sternly.

“I’ll be waiting.” He replied with his ever-malicious grin.

I tried to hold out my tears as the flashbacks wake my haunting demons. Every year, month, week, I sell a piece of myself to appease the devil with his every touch feels like a steel knife stabbed repeatedly to my lifeless soul. Stripped naked, forced to make a pedophilic film, flogged, eat my own excrements and everything that makes me an animal just for his own definition of pleasure. I never reported to the authorities, for every report leads to the death of the complainant, so I suffered roughly for 5 years.

Is this the will of the lord? Is this what I prayed for? Is this the price for divinity? Shall I waste another year? I knelt in front of the small altar inside my quarter. “This is the will of the lord, it will always be.” I grabbed the stainless-steel scissors that’s been used to cut envelopes for donations, bathed in holy water and made my way to father’s quarters.

With every step, reminds me of the molestation he made as if I was his in his servitude. The lord always watched with every inhumane act he inflicted, he just…watched. As closer I get, the more the demons in my head get audible. “It has to be now.” I whispered with suppressed fervor.

I was finally inside locking the door behind me. I’m meters away in front of him, sitting in his sturdy chair smoking imported cigarettes. the cold chills that I feel every time I’m here, replaced with burning passion to kill. He smirked and slowly made my way towards me; I kept my head down waiting for the moment to strike.

“I thought you took a bath,” He chuckled, sniffing my neck in front of me while slowly removing my cassock.

‘THE WILL OF THE LORD COMMANDS IT, THE 5TH COMMANDMENT, DOUSE THE 5th! 5th! 5th,IT IS THE WILL OF THE LORD’

The demons in my head run wild, telling me to do it, telling me that the lord wills it.

I stabbed him in the chest with the scissor I hid behind my back deeply. I stabbed him repeatedly shouting “IT IS THE WILL OF THE LORD!” at the top of my lungs, laughing uncontrollably. I gouged his eyes out for the lord, for this will serve to watch the retaliation of dozens of innocents he killed. I carved my name in his body to proclaim that no evil shall stand against me. The last thing I saw was people screaming in shock, dragging me out bathed in his blood before I blacked out.

I was soon handed to the social welfare services, and got treated for my mental health a couple of years. The report says that I stabbed him 80 times, trying to dismember the insides before being restrained.The case was dismissed because I was still a minor, and the priest made major offenses.

That was roughly 12 years ago, but the memory still lingers. I attended the seminary and served the ministry until I got my priesthood. I was happy that I’m now back on track, this is the price we pray for salvation.

As I was walking back home from the mass I held, I noticed a kid begging for money in the cold streets of the city. I fixed myself, approached the young lad and asked with a gentle smile, “Do you want to serve the lord, son?".

-Marcmire

Resources:

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https://www.gannett-cdn.com/presto/2019/11/07/USAT/77388154-e24e-4148-88a4-98fd3b6fc16a-priest_next_door_topper.jpg

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