We Lost Her

The days has been really tough for me recently. Classes have started and I have to assist my son with his online class since it's his first time.

I was not able to post here since a lot of things had happened in the past weeks.

I guess it was already a month ago now when I saw that message on our family group chat. My uncle forwarded my half sister's text saying..

"Dalhin nyo na ako sa doctor, sakit na ng ulo at dibdib ko kakaubo".

Then every memory from few months back came crawling fast in my mind. Nataranta ako knowing that she's 7 months pregnant and I was already suspecting she's infected with the virus.

I saw my father's response "dalhin na agad yan sa ospital". The people around her were hesitant because she might undergo swab testing and they were afraid she would get a positive result which is possible.

I know, the symptoms that I felt before and my father's is closest to what she has. What's worst is that her oxygen saturation is starting to go down. She started to experience difficulty breathing.

Knowing this, I insisted "magpaswab kung kailangan para magamot na agad!". Ayaw na ayaw ng papa ko na nadedelay ang pagpunta sa doctor. I can sense that he's kind of getting frustrated for not being there for his panganay. He keeps on calling my uncle (his brother) to facilitate in sending her to the hospital.

One of my aunt insisted not to bring her to the hospital and just do a home treatment. What?! From what I saw in the pictures, it was very clear that she got the virus. And she needs immediate and special treatment because she is pregnant. And why would they suggest her to stay at home?? Isn't that a stupid idea? 🙄

That afternoon she sent me a confirmation that she's Covid 19 positive. I knew it! Then I started to worry too much for her. Her eyes were sunk and dark.

I was wondering why they did not bring her to a hospital and placed her in an isolation facility, instead. She needs close monitoring. Her baby needs to ne checked. I couldn't count how many days she stayed there. We kept on insisting to send her to the hospitals so doctors could monitor her condition.

My cousin who volunteered to be her watcher, sent me her pictures and her day to day progress. Pasalamat ako sa pinsan ko na yun dahil she managed to stay at di sya natakot na puro covid patients kasama nila sa facility. Maybe takot nga talaga sya but I was so thankful na kinaya nya.

She started getting worst when my cousin said she wakes her up at midnight saying she's out of oxygen supply. But as she checks on it marami pa naman palang laman. Hindi nya maramdaman oxygen niya 🥺🥺.

Few more days she started having LBM. I once read that it is a sign of having a worst condition in Covid since the virus is starting to attack the lower organs. But I told her, "you're going to be okay, kaya mo yan. Pagkatapos ng LBM, pag nalamapasan mo yan, mawawala na si covid". But her breathing never improved.

I told my cousin to report her condition to her doctor and that's when they decided to send her to a hospital. Her lips started to get dark. I know she's really runnig out of oxygen.

They waited 4 hours in the hospital lobby to get a room. This time my cousin is not allowed to go with her unless she's positive of the virus. She was sent back to the facility for quarantine and swab testing after five days.

My sister was left alone in her room. She kept calling my father telling him no one is looking after her. She still cannot feel the pressure in her oxygen.

My father told her to get up and try to throw something hard on the door so nurses outside could notice that she needs help.

The next day she was placed in the ICU for ventilator. But she's conscious. The doctors suggested intubation and asked my father about it and he answered "kung ano ang makakapagpaginhawa sa kanya, gawin nyo na doc, wag nang patagalin."

Kailangan din nya ma CS para hindi sila nag aagawan ng oxygen ni baby. But she needs to have a stable Spo2 level.

Ang mahirap talaga sa decision making yung maraming nagtatalo. Ang daming alam ng iba dyan at parang mas magaling pa yata sa doctor. My father also cannot decide properly but kept on asking my sister kung ano ang gusto niya. Ayaw nya magpatubo. So naghanap sila ng paraan. She was given injectables and thankfully her Spo2 went up to 100.

She was feeling better and kept on asking when she can come home. She stayed a few more days for observation. But in the morning of 26th September, gusto na daw nya magpa CS. During the night our phones are busy getting calls from the doctor. Last call ni doc. Kailangan nya matubuhan in 24 hours or else babagsak na talaga sya.

My father called my sister and told her what the doctor said. That's when she shouted "Papa, payag na ako magpatubo. Doc! Ako na lang buhayin nyo!!".. Hingal na hingal, sabi ni papa. Hirap na daw. 🥺🥺🥺 I heard his voice started to break. He ran outside to call the doctor immediately.

Doctor said it's 50-50 chances, whether she lives or the baby. He told the doctor to risk the baby. So they immediately processed her operation. My uncle hurriedly went to the hospital to sign some papers in behalf of my father.

It was 2 a.m. when they reported the baby is crying loud. We were so happy she is alive. Finally my sister could get proper treatment.

A few hours later, my uncle called my father, he was crying. Her vitals dropped! I sneaked out and saw my father outside wiping his glasses. He seemed like crying.

Then my cousin who's in Dubai and whose hubby is at the hospital with my uncle, called me and said she's at 40-20.. baka hindi na talaga kayanin. But I believe lumalaban talaga ate ko. 3 a.m. they were doing cpr.. Hindi sya nakabawi.. 😭😭😭😭😭

Kawawa naman si baby.. 😭😭😭😭😭

I tried to write this mga ilang weeks din pero hindi ko talaga sya kayang tapusin. Ang sakit isipin paulit ulit ang mga nangyari..