There are times that we feel so down, so exhausted and mentally, physically drained. Sometimes we feel the need to take a break but it's too necessary that we couldn't leave it just like that. At work or at school. Life is tough sometimes but we need to keep going.
All along, I thought if I finish my studies, everything will be fine. All my problems will be gone since I will have a job and I can afford all my needs and wants. I was wrong.
I am a person who never post my anger or disappointments on social media. When I'm upset, I just sleep or cry for a while then I'll be okay for the rest of the day. Although, I am a person who never forgets. Sometimes I write it out here but not on Facebook or on Twitter, etc..
Today, I feel like screaming. I remember when I told @Ozzyy it's okay to break down 'coz it will make you feel better afterwards. I now came to the point that of getting fed up with things going on around me. I don't like the situation I'm in right now . The worst thing is I'm only doing my task as it is given to me but it seems that the blame is being thrown to my face. Now, I wanted to scream. I'm screaming inside, still showing off a smile on my face with the people who push me into this trouble.
All the harsh words I'm hearing right now is too much that I almost lost the temper I have been holding back since this issue started.
It's a coincidence, maybe. But do you know that every time I dream of a snake coming towards me or biting me indicates a bad omen. Something negative will happen to me at work, mostly tensions among co-workers. I get caught up in two hostile people or worst the trouble is being addressed to me without any idea how I was able to provoke someone by just doing my job.
Without any intention to offend anyone, I work with full dedication and here I am always put in a hot seat. I get to answer questions that are beyond my knowledge. The snake sneaks at my back silently rejoicing of my downfall.
Just when you thought you have a back up, and then when you look back they turn their back on you and push you hard to take all the blame. It's pure betrayal. Then it would make you realize, you're all alone. No one is ever going to defend you.
I became that someone for myself whom with all my emotional strength defend the enemies whoever comes to attack and destroy my whole self with their poisonous words and actions against me. I learned to blitz without them knowing that they are being silently attacked. Still the best revenge for me is kindness.
I keep quiet as much as I can. But never show me your flaws and it shall be exposed. I keep things on record inside my brain and I will tell the world what kind of person you are to me without literally saying it. I duplicate my personality with its opposite in order to defend myself in times of situations like this. I end up winning the battle against my weak emotions and killing the assailant with my smooth revenge.
My eyes are closing and I need to stop right here.. I don't know why I am writing this but it's a reminder for everyone to leave something for yourself.. Love yourself 'coz you deserve it. No one will ever love and understand you but only you. 💕