My First Post; My Near-Funny Birth-Story as Narrated By My Mother

Births are a very marvellous thing — the joy of life springing forth and the visualisation of the almost infinite dear memories about to be created. For my mother in 1997, the joys and visualisations were unbounded in her eyes once more.

Thus, I begin my read.cash journey with a memory that isn't mine, but my dear Mother's. She said I was birthed at exactly 8:45am on a sunny Saturday in the month of April 1997, and that I weighed a massive 4.5 kg at birth which surprised her because the delivery was very smooth and quick (compared to my 2 elder brothers). She said that my cries were ever so gentle on everyone's ears; that I was all fleshy; and that at some point, the nurses couldn't stop starring at me for over 5 minutes. Anyway, talking about my weight at birth, 4.5 kg (10 lb), let me put it in perspective... the average weight of a new born baby is about 3.5kg (7.5 lb). So that was an extra 1 kg that spoke of pure health.

Over the years, I've lost the contract I had with adipose tissues (knock, knock... biochemical name for body fat, Lol), and I really want that contract back because now I'm very slim and no matter what my diet is, I just can't gain real weight. Nevertheless, I'm healthy and happy.

I (Joseph), my parents and 2 elder brothers (John & James), sometime in the 90's when cameras were you know.. gaining ground.

It's me; I'm the baby in the title image and the fleshy little boy in blue shorts in the image above (peep the cheeks 😁). I don't know if this story was even nearly as funny as I'd thought or even funny at all, but I still hope you enjoyed reading it. Anyway, stay with me, I'll post more — my stories, photo-documentaries of the town I'm currently doing my compulsory National Youth Service in Nigeria, best/easiest/hottest faucets for the Crypto-inclined, and a host of other good stuff.

Have a nice day (or night, if it's nighttime in your country 😉).