It is 7 PM here in India. It is a very beautiful summer evening with the winds blowing and I am sitting in my office. I'm listening to a very emotional sad song about forgetting people we lost. This year I lost someone and my heart is filled with grief, sadness and since the last two months I have been trying very hard to stay sane. I put up a smile and laugh more louder than I used to and tell silliest jokes so that people don't notice the pain that I have been carrying behind my eyes. A few close friends have caught me and told me that I look different now. They said I look tired and I have changed a bit. Ofcourse I look tired I have been carrying this pain in my heart and it doesn't seem to go. Sometimes I feel like I am controlled by my memories that keep running in my mind all the time l. The funniest thing is that I used to laugh when movies showed people getting flashbacks and feeling nostalgic. Now I am living in nostalgia. I wake up each day with a hope that I everything is normal now and the dreadful day never happened but you know what life is strange, strong and when something happens it cannot be changed. The story of all our lives is written in stone that can never be changed. What has happened once can never be undone. There is no time machine, no mutants who can undo what has happened. And no one can bring back the dead. I have spent my life reading fiction and watching fantasy tv shows and spent a lot of time dreaming up my own stories where I am a superhero who has every possible power I can imagine. Now, I live in a fantasy world of my own where I have deleted the one dreadful day where I lost someone close to me. One moment they are here talking to you, screaming at you at your mistakes, fighting and the next moment they take a decision that just erased them from existence. I wish I could change time. I wish I could have done something and they had not taken the dreadful step. I remember everything and it plays in my brain again and again. It is on an infinite loop and each time it hurts me more, scratches my soul deeper and deeper and I know there will come a day when I will be nothing but a hollow man stuck in his past. They say everything heals with time and I agree with that. Wounds heal with time and souls don't. Souls keep moving in time breaking up into pieces until they spread across the universe. Smiling is supposed to be the easiest thing a human can do but since I lost you it has been the toughest thing to do. You always asked me to show my teeth when I took a picture because you said it just lights up the room. So, my dear here is a picture for you... Sadly you are not here to see it. Damn... I have lost my smile. Anyways, until we meet in heaven.