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This article don't meant to commend those who was lending money to other people nor to those who have debts. Just want to share my opinions and thoughts about this matter and also my experiences.
Actually, I should have written this one by November 28 after I read this article of Ate @Eirolfeam2's entitled Why I Don't Like Lending Money. But, yeah. My responsibilities outside the virtual world was holding grudges on me. Nonetheless, lemme do it today. Hope you'll like it! :)
I was so vocal with regards to my financial-related goals. How I planned my future wherein I can finally be financial free, well not totally free but was able to sustain my needs and wants including my family's. I've been aiming to finish my bachelors degree, get my license through acing the board exam, looking for a job aligned with my chosen path of career, be regular (more so a permanent employee) through having my Masters of Science degree, and establishing a business. This are the ways that I've been looking for that can help me get through with my financial goals.
Am I successfully having it? Not yet but I can say that "I am on the way to it." How and why? Because I am sensing that I'm having that progress. Before, whenever that I or our family wants to buy clothes or foods that we just usually have when there's an occasions? We can just only dream and make ourselves salivate but won't have it at the end. Why? Because we are thinking if we can have foods for lunch or dinner. But, now? Oh, we can have it. Whenever we want to. Also, we can buy boxes of groceries now that we can't even do before. We can now also go to the city proper to buy merienda, order items in online stores. To the point that our neighbors are looking on us when we are going home carrying boxes full of stocks and a cavan of rice or when there are parcels to delivered to us. And, we can't do all of this before. Yah know, gipit eh.
We've started to experienced a lil changes in our lives since last year. Is it good? Of course, why would it be bad? Having a lighter life compare to what we have before was indeed so awesome. But, what I don't want for having this lighter status of life? It's the fact that some of our relatives seems to see me like a human ATM. Yeah, sounds OA but that's the truth. They won't directly say it to me, apparently? I can feel it. How? Here's how:
"They've been asking me to lend some money to them, as often as they need it."
It's okay for me to lend some to them, sometimes but not this often. Not this often that whenever they need money, they will immediately run to me. Like once a week? For what? Either for their child or children's milk or diaper, for gasoline, foods, etcetera.
As you can remember, I am also soooo vocal that I don't want to have my own child yet. But, why does it seems to I need to also include milk and diapers in my budget? When in fact, I don't need to because I don't have a child who needs this stuffs.
Do I sounds so OA in that part? Maybe, yes but maybe, no. It's just that I don't like their attitude. Yah know, borrow and forget. Do I also sound a lil bit selfish or masama ang ugali? Especially that they are my relatives and those who'll consume those things are my cousins. But I can't help to ask myself, "Why? Why am I feeling so obligated to lend them my money?" It's not my responsibilities but they're making me feel like I am obligated to share what I am having. Is it because we are living together? Either ways, I am not happy with it anymore.
There are also a lot of instances that when I did some groceries today? Expect that one of Mama's siblings will ask for me to lend some to them, the next day or days. Why naman ganoon? Huhu!
Also, what I don't want during this times is that they'll just gonna message me in Facebook Messenger even though we are just living in under one roof. When in fact, they can ask me directly. Mas gusto ko pa kapag ganito. And in addition, they tend to think that I always have a money to pick at my pocket or wallet whenever they're gonna ask me. Just, what? I'm still a striving college student, like I always say. But, why? Why that instead of they're the one to help me, I am the one who was doing that for them? Considering that they have a job and a high salary compare to what I am having in my hustles.
Yes, they have their own family to feed up their needs. But, why does it seems like they in so much need? Simply because of debts, nabaon eh.
Personally, I am not a fan of having debts. Because aside from it's like a sin to me (just like how Ate Florie Mae defined having debts), it can also be an addiction. Yes, it wasn't just drugs or gambling that will make us feel addicted but debts, too. I remember what Papa said before, "once you started to asked money thrice or up to five times, you will start to feel addicted. Like whenever you need some money, borrowing will be the first on that you'll think and consider of." Yes, it depends on the people, us. But this is what I also observed to my Uncles and Aunts. They'll keep on borrowing when there's another options to choose, like having side lines or saving up.
Yes, I feel sympathy for them too especially that I am thinking of my younger cousins but I am starting to feel like I am already fed up. Why? They're getting used to it to the point that I can't have some when I am the one who's in need. Also because, I am not an ATM nor I don't own a bank. ATM machines nga nauubusan ng laman eh, ako pa kaya? I also faced financial crisis with our family and with that? It clearly shows that I am not mayaman or something like that. This is the exact reason (I mean, one of the reasons) why I don't like to spill the beans that I am making a living through noise.cash and read.cash despite the fact that I want to invite them in here, too. But, 'wag na pala. There's so many consequences ey, consequences that will just pull me down or ako lang din kawawa sa huli.
Mama and Papa was so shy to ask me to give or let them borrow some from me. Yes, they are my parents but they feel so shy but why? Why do I need to experience it from her siblings? Actually, they are also not in favor with what they are doing and there was also times that Papa said, "baka naman kapag may trabahao ka na, sa'yo na sila aasa sa ganiyan." Me? I've been thinking of it too. Ngayon pa lang, ganito na eh. What if I already have a job na?
There are also times that I am saying "no" to them but not at all times. Especially when they know that I have one. Sometimes, I just want to say to them that I ain't a human ATM nor a bank owner.
But I don't want to hear negative feedbacks from them like the usual, "nagkaroon lang, yumabang na agad." or "ang damot mo naman." Yah know, kalimitang sinasabi ng iba kapag 'di napagbibigyan.
But, I am hoping. Hoping that they'll be more resourceful in life, too. And of course, understanding. Because not at all times, they can have something to borrow. ;)