Am I worthless?

Note: It's an emotional article, allow me to express the heavy feeling I have right now.

Being a full-time mom is not easy. As I wake up in the morning, I am already filled with so many works. I even multitask some things just to finish it all.

As I wake up, I hurriedly went to the kitchen to cook something for breakfast so that if the kids will wake up they have something ready to eat.

After breakfast, I washed all our clothes, hang them outside, and went back inside the house.

Then I will start cleaning. Sweeping the floor, arranging some things, folding all our beddings.

When I finish those it's almost lunchtime, I need to think of what to prepare for our lunch.

When afternoon came, I need to put them to sleep and it was my time to relax for a while then open my phone for entertainment.

After their sleeping time, it's time again to think about what's for our dinner, and when I already decide what to cook, I'll start preparing it so we can eat early.

That is always my everyday routine. When night came I am tired already. Just like today, I am tired because I am cleaning the whole house because of the floodwater that entered the house last night.

But this afternoon, hubby gets irritated just because of small things. He easily gets angry if we can't comply with his needs. And then he blames me for some things and remembers all my shortcomings and failures and always said it straight to my face. I know I failed sometimes as a mom and a wife. I am not perfect but saying things like I am useless kills me slowly inside. I did my best to be there for them always but sometimes they can't appreciate all the sacrifices that I made for them. They only see my failures.

Hubby is a responsible husband. He always prioritizes us and made sure to always give what's the best of us but just like me, he has also his shortcomings but I understand him. I am always patient with him. But my only problem with him is this attitude that when he gets angry, he would say some hurtful words. Sometimes I understand him but there were times that I can't especially if I am tired. I get emotional immediately. And if I am hurt I would just cry and become silent and that is what I am doing right now. I know after many hours we will be okay because he will say sorry but just this time, I get emotional because I am hurt with his words. Even if he will say sorry I will still remember the words he said. It takes days for me to be okay.

While typing this I am crying my heart out. Sorry for disturbing your day with these emotional write-ups of mine.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

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You can also reach me out at this 💌 address: shanleysingco@gmail.

©iamanobody from the Philippines 🇵🇭