Father's Day.

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Avatar for gertu13
2 years ago

In many countries Father's Day is celebrated today, but I know one where it’s not. In Spain, Father's Day is celebrated on March 19, but in my country it’s celebrated today.

My father was a man I don't know how to describe. I was never proud of him. I always wondered how a woman like my mother fell in love with someone like him, but those are the consequences of our free will.

From unsplash.

I was always a troublemaker and I received many punishments for that. My character was always strong, ever since I was little, I think I inherited it from him, from my father.

Today I have read many articles about fathers. I rejoice to read that even if they are bad parents, their children forgive them and move on. That seems to me to be the best thing. There is nothing better in the world than forgiving those who offend us because then we will be forgiven as well.

I think in the end everything I went through in my youth was an easy way to prepare me for my entire journey through life. I am an independent woman who was formed by watching the families of my friends and taking from them what I liked to then form my own ideas of a non-confrontational family.

After all, we are what we are because of all the vicissitudes we have gone through in life. I think that, reading so many posts about the way our parents treated us as children, I don't think I did too badly. I had a father who punished me severely because he thought it would make me better.

I suffered a lot because I didn't know what forgiveness was. And I hated him for many years, but I always knew that in spite of everything he was my father and I owed him respect.

I thank God that I was able to forgive myself and then forgive him just before he died. He spent a few months in a bad way, with his old age, with his bad temper but more mellowed by his age. So unbeknownst to me God allowed the anger I felt for so many years against him to vanish as if by magic and then I was with him a few months before, until he had to leave.

He died here at home. I was with him the day before, I left him his dinner, I left him something for the night because he always stopped to eat at midnight, but in the morning he was already dead. The lady who was taking care of him arrived before me and called me to tell me that he died in his bed.

I was very sad because my mother had died many years before and this time he reminded me of her. The day she died I was with her.  I had just given her breakfast through a nasogastric tube that I had put in her, because she had been in a coma for 15 days.

She had lung cancer that metastasized to her brain and took away her consciousness. She was in a coma and I stayed with her until the end. As I said I gave her some breakfast which consisted of about 50 cc of cream of vegetable and chicken soup.

I was washing things in the sink and that's when I turn around and I see her making some involuntary movements. I ran over to her and I saw her. I saw her last breath and this was very painful for me.

But my father's death, although in a way very sad, was not as momentous as my mother's death.

So in the same way I thank my father for the way he treated me because that is how I learned to be the strong, capable, independent woman I am now. I would not have achieved what I am now if I had not learned to defend myself the way I did. Going out to work ever since my youth.

“Honor your father and mother” is what it says on the Word. And today I honor the memory of my father as he was, a man of strong character, who lived his life as he wanted, without stopping for anything. Who enjoyed his life without looking back, who lived as he wanted until the end of his days.

After him, two of my brothers died, one after the other. Two months apart.

I hope that today, whererever he is today, he is already resting from that hectic life he led and that maybe he is already with my mother and my brothers.

Happy Father's Day, to you dad and to you my dear brothers!

 

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2 years ago

Comments

I am so emotional whilw reading your story. Indeed, the Word even told us to forgive seventy times seven times. But still, we cannot deny the fact that forgiveness is not that easy to give especially if that person broke you into pieces.

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2 years ago

And that is the great prize of forgiveness. The great weight you had is lifted. You are totally liberated. And that, my friend, is what strengthens me the most.

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2 years ago

This is so sad. It must have been so hard for you to witness those situations but then again, you gave yourself a virtue and a gift which is forgiveness.

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2 years ago

It is that in the end a light comes to me and makes me see that the burdens of the diary are heavy and if we also carry the grudges of the past, life becomes harder. I decided to live the present without hatred. I put away from me what is not pleasant to me and I always continue to be grateful for what I have now.

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2 years ago

Forgiveness is something we need for ourselves for peace of mind, and you're right it's something God commanded us to do. That's why it is really a grace from God. What a sad story especially from your mom whom you take care of her yourself. 😔 Hugs**

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2 years ago

It's sad because of the ending. But it gave me great pleasure to be with her until she said goodbye. She is the greatest thing I carry in my heart. Death saddens me but a short mourning. Because the thought of what we know is coming makes me happy.

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2 years ago

Happy father day, its a of forgiveness of all wrong father has done, a day to value and respect all father for there sacrifices

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2 years ago

A sad yet peaceful memory of yours made me realize of many things gert thank you for sharing this article. I may also have stubborness in me that I kept by myself that made me angry with my father sometime. Yet here you are reminding to forgive everyone who cause us pain and misery. God bless you gert

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2 years ago

We must forgive, my dear friend, so that God will also forgive us. We have only two things to do, either forgive or hold a grudge. I prefer to be free. God bless you.

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2 years ago