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I've lost track about how many times I was asked with that question. I'm single because why not?
Earlier this year, I met with my circle of friends back in high school. Most of them are in a relationship and some are already thinking about getting married. I was taken aback when one of them asked me:
“You're at the right age to date but why are you still single while most of us are already in a serious relationship?”
I thought about it for a while and answered: “Just because.” But deep within, I have a handful of reasons why I'm single.
Call me old-fashioned, but I'm adamant about not dating until I'm ready to get married. While a lot of people nowadays goes on dates for fun and experimenting about relationships, I believe that one should date for the purpose of marriage. Some gets into a relationship and later on breaks up for the reason of being incompatible and that they can't keep up with the other party involve. Well here's the thing, why not stay single, improve yourself first and reach that level of maturity where you can stay with a person despite challenges you may encounter in your relationship.
I'm single because I don't want to settle for less. Because I've set a high standard that no one has reached yet. I've always been afraid of criticisms and I don't know if I can take all the criticisms if I settle for just anyone out there.
I honestly don't think that there's something wrong with being single because being single gives me the freedom to explore and do anything I want without anyone getting in my way telling me not to do this and that. Wear this instead of that. And constantly ask me to give him update about what's happening to me every minute of my life like I'm some sort of newscaster giving updates about the coming typhoon lol.
I am single and alone but it doesn't mean I'm lonely, I am very much happy with how my life is running as of the moment.
Single because I want to embrace this 'gift' of singleness and enjoy my life to the fullest — alone while I still am.
While some of my friends are building their own families and raising their kids, I'm still single because I believe that getting into a relationship is not a race, I don't believe that it is necessary to get into a relationship when you reach mid twenties, nor it is required to get married before you reach 30s. I know stories about people who found the love of their life at a later age of 50s, 60s or even 70s. They we're still happy even if they fell in love late and those stories we're beautiful. Some even said that it is so much better to marry late than to marry the wrong person — same with boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, it's better to fall in love late than to get your heart broken by the wrong person. It's never too late to fall in love. I want to get a boyfriend when I'm all set and ready for a relationship. But of course, I'm not going to the extent of getting married at an old age because I won't look good in the photos!
One time a cousin, who's happens to be a close friend too asked me why I decline 'okay' guys after talking to them for quite some time. I made some serious thinking about it, analyzed myself and this is what I've concluded:
They're not sensible enough. When I talk about my problems, there are guys who answer me with their own problems too. Dude! Could you listen to me first and empathize with me?
I easily get tired of mediocre conversations. I usually get bored with everyday questions like: Have you eaten? What did you eat? How's your day? What are you doing? Blah blah blah. Dude, can we have a more meaningful conversation?
I'm a perfectionist. You can judge me for this but I really hate guys whose full of air but doesn't even know how to spell right, even the words in their mother tongue! I know it's a lousy reason but it's a total turn off for me. I think this is the main problem, I know that it's impossible to meet someone perfect, but I still believe that one day, I'll meet the perfect guy for me.
These are only a few reasons why I don't rush into a relationship. There are still some which I can't explain in words and motivates be to remain single for the time being.
I admit, I seldom envy my friends and some acquaintances who are successful in their relationship and even going to the extent of getting married and having babies. But I know that it's normal since that part of human nature and it's normal to want to be loved. But what's wrong is forcing myself to be in a relationship then eventually feel unhappy when it fails. I know that someday someone will appreciate me for who I am and will love me genuinely. Someday, that someone will love me not because I look pretty in my display picture on social media, neither because I look good with make-ups on, but because he sees my inner beauty.
For the meantime, I don't want to 'be a fool and rush in a relationship,' I don't want my relationship status to define my happiness. It's better to look around and appreciate the love given by my family, friends and myself. Self-love is also important. When we learn to love ourselves more, in the future we can give more love to the right person.
P.S. This is purely based on my own beliefs and I know that there are some who will disagree to some of the points mentioned here. If you do, just write your own article and discuss your own beliefs lol. Love lots - @esciisc 💕