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Why I Don't Rush Into a Relationship

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Written by   540
1 year ago
Topics: Life, Experiences

“Why are you single?”

I've lost track about how many times I was asked with that question. I'm single because why not?

Earlier this year, I met with my circle of friends back in high school. Most of them are in a relationship and some are already thinking about getting married. I was taken aback when one of them asked me:

You're at the right age to date but why are you still single while most of us are already in a serious relationship?”

I thought about it for a while and answered: “Just because.” But deep within, I have a handful of reasons why I'm single.

Reasons

Call me old-fashioned, but I'm adamant about not dating until I'm ready to get married. While a lot of people nowadays goes on dates for fun and experimenting about relationships, I believe that one should date for the purpose of marriage. Some gets into a relationship and later on breaks up for the reason of being incompatible and that they can't keep up with the other party involve. Well here's the thing, why not stay single, improve yourself first and reach that level of maturity where you can stay with a person despite challenges you may encounter in your relationship.

I'm single because I don't want to settle for less. Because I've set a high standard that no one has reached yet. I've always been afraid of criticisms and I don't know if I can take all the criticisms if I settle for just anyone out there.

I honestly don't think that there's something wrong with being single because being single gives me the freedom to explore and do anything I want without anyone getting in my way telling me not to do this and that. Wear this instead of that. And constantly ask me to give him update about what's happening to me every minute of my life like I'm some sort of newscaster giving updates about the coming typhoon lol.

I am single and alone but it doesn't mean I'm lonely, I am very much happy with how my life is running as of the moment.

Single because I want to embrace this 'gift' of singleness and enjoy my life to the fullest — alone while I still am.

While some of my friends are building their own families and raising their kids, I'm still single because I believe that getting into a relationship is not a race, I don't believe that it is necessary to get into a relationship when you reach mid twenties, nor it is required to get married before you reach 30s. I know stories about people who found the love of their life at a later age of 50s, 60s or even 70s. They we're still happy even if they fell in love late and those stories we're beautiful. Some even said that it is so much better to marry late than to marry the wrong person — same with boyfriend-girlfriend relationship, it's better to fall in love late than to get your heart broken by the wrong person. It's never too late to fall in love. I want to get a boyfriend when I'm all set and ready for a relationship. But of course, I'm not going to the extent of getting married at an old age because I won't look good in the photos!

One time a cousin, who's happens to be a close friend too asked me why I decline 'okay' guys after talking to them for quite some time. I made some serious thinking about it, analyzed myself and this is what I've concluded:

They're not sensible enough. When I talk about my problems, there are guys who answer me with their own problems too. Dude! Could you listen to me first and empathize with me?

I easily get tired of mediocre conversations. I usually get bored with everyday questions like: Have you eaten? What did you eat? How's your day? What are you doing? Blah blah blah. Dude, can we have a more meaningful conversation?

I'm a perfectionist. You can judge me for this but I really hate guys whose full of air but doesn't even know how to spell right, even the words in their mother tongue! I know it's a lousy reason but it's a total turn off for me. I think this is the main problem, I know that it's impossible to meet someone perfect, but I still believe that one day, I'll meet the perfect guy for me.

These are only a few reasons why I don't rush into a relationship. There are still some which I can't explain in words and motivates be to remain single for the time being.

I admit, I seldom envy my friends and some acquaintances who are successful in their relationship and even going to the extent of getting married and having babies. But I know that it's normal since that part of human nature and it's normal to want to be loved. But what's wrong is forcing myself to be in a relationship then eventually feel unhappy when it fails. I know that someday someone will appreciate me for who I am and will love me genuinely. Someday, that someone will love me not because I look pretty in my display picture on social media, neither because I look good with make-ups on, but because he sees my inner beauty.

For the meantime, I don't want to 'be a fool and rush in a relationship,' I don't want my relationship status to define my happiness. It's better to look around and appreciate the love given by my family, friends and myself. Self-love is also important. When we learn to love ourselves more, in the future we can give more love to the right person.

P.S. This is purely based on my own beliefs and I know that there are some who will disagree to some of the points mentioned here. If you do, just write your own article and discuss your own beliefs lol. Love lots - @esciisc 💕

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Written by   540
1 year ago
Topics: Life, Experiences
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Comments

I lije it vwry much

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1 year ago

Alhamdulillah.. Very nice and Good Post

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1 year ago

Hindi pala ako nakasubscribe 😄

Bhe take your time. 😄 Just enjoy being single and you are free as a bird. Once you're in a relationship na ang gaming concern. Sakit sa ulo din minsan (sa akin lang naman 😅)

$ 0.00
1 year ago

haha okay lang yan momshie, at least ngayon oo na, (nadagdagan ng isa eh) 😆

And yes, I'm taking my time just like ate Jane. I want to enjoy the good things that comes along with being single and ayoko din talaga ng sakit sa ulo. Masakit din sa ulo pag may kapuyatan ka gabi gabi, mag uusap ng walang kakwenta kwentang bagay hahaha ✌🏻

thanks sa advice ❤️

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1 year ago

Of a truth one should get into a relationship when he/she is ready to get married. Relationship is not for fun or experiment.

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1 year ago

Rushing is not good po, they say, when the time is right n perfect, the right one will cross your path n when u r ready din po n don't find love, let love find u, me, have gave up looking for love 3 years ago because of what i had experienced that year po n God sent someone n now, he's my bf na po n our relationship is not perfect as there r no perfect relationship po, communication, trust, loyalty n patience po tlga really works especially when u r in LDR kind of relationship po

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1 year ago

Me I never had my any romantic relationship yet but this is true btw I am a newbie here and I hope I can have some readers just like you guys 🙏

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1 year ago

I also belive that relationship should be pure and long term and not only for fun and it should lead into marriage so I am also quite patient in making relationship

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1 year ago

Yeah You're right about it... Freedoms is a point of you. Go on

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1 year ago

Haha okay, thanks.

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1 year ago

So you've never had a boyfriend since birth?

We have a lot in common when it comes to standards. Guys that are eloquent in writing and speech is a major plus. However, when I see myself getting into a relationship with him, I think ma-uunder niya ako when we start to argue. These smart guys are really intimidating. 😆

Well, my experience may not work the same as yours noh pero I've raised too high standards as well but like I said to my man, he disregarded those standards, showed his true self and caught me off-guard. A personality of a guy is the most important of all. You can tell if a guy is sincere or not naman.

Also, it's rare to find a guy who's emotionally sensitive like us girls are. Guys have major issues when it comes to identifying our moods every now and then. I guess that's their nature na. Others may say that if you find one, that guy is labeled as gay or too feminine. Yup, it's a biased opinion.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

We have a lot in common when it comes to standards. Guys that are eloquent in writing and speech is a major plus. However, when I see myself getting into a relationship with him, I think ma-uunder niya ako when we start to argue. These smart guys are really intimidating. 😆

It's good to know that it isn't just me who feels this way. Being witty is the first thing I consider when I decide to get to know a guy better. He doesn't have to be a genius though because like you said, feeling ko din talo ako lagi when we argue 😂 Usually matatalino ang crushes ko pero I don't like to get into a relationship with them 😅

Hanzell said that too, I guess guys are not really sensible when it comes to girls feelings, we can't expext them to guess what we actually feel.

Actually I had a boyfriend before. He passes 95% of my standards but we broke up because we're both too young that time, 16 and 15 to be exact lol

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Trueeee. Ganyan din crushes ko. Mala Robi Domingo 😍 magaling mag salita. Hehe

Really? How long did it last? Have you heard about him? Baka may chance pa. Hehe. Sabagay, bata bata pa. Ako nga, 13 years old ako una ngka bf. Crush ko din sya, classmate ko. Sya palagi 1st honor samin. Yun nga, asar2x ng mga classmates, ngka developan. Pero 2 weeks lng kami 😆😆😆

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Hahaha Kaya nga ultimate crush ko yun si Robi nung high school. PBB pa lang crush ko na yun dahil sobrang witty niya and galing magsalita 😍😍

We lasted for about 2 months yata, 9 years ago na kaya medyo limot ko na tung details 😅 Classmate ko din, haha sobrang talino, ang ganda ng penmanship, pero naging crush ko talaga yun kasi minsan siya gumagawa ng codes ko sa programming at nagsasagot ng exam paper ko kapag late ako, kaso mas bata sa akin kaya childish. May jowa na siya ngayon, but I'm happy na naka move on na siya ❤️

13 years old? haha grabe, naglalaro pa ko ng teks at chinese garter nun eh hahaha

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ang cute lang nung gumagawa ng codes. Hahaha. Nakakatawa lang mga memories before. 😆

I see. Hehe. You've always been apathetic talaga in a romantic relationship noh. But that's valid naman. Your choice, your life. Ganyan lang. Huwag magmadali oy. I've always been apathetic din before but when he came, things changed. 😅

$ 0.00
1 year ago

There is nothing wrong with being single. We are single 😉 Before when I was in college, I told myself that, "I can live without a man in my life". In my life, I only got 3 bf while others are experimenting and collecting. I actually want my first love to be my last. But I guess we aren't destined to be forever. .the same as you. I don't want to settle for less. I don't want to be in a rush then regret later... And having a married life is a serious matter, it's not just like riding on a roller coaster then get down once you feel dizzy. I also envy my friends and colleagues having their own family and raising their kids. But then I realized that I will be more happy if I am single. I've had enough in my life. I experienced almost everything i guess... I experienced the pain, the suffering, i even experienced being a mother to my little siblings. And i know how it feels..and i can tell that i'm not ready for it yet.. So i prefer to be single.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Aaaw I was teary eyed reading this comment. 🤧🤧 I feel like I was actually talking to myself because all this time, no one understands me, why I remain to be like this and will do so for the next couple of years.

I'm amazed to know that someone could totally understand and relate to what I feel. I guess being the firstborn somehow contributed to why we are like this, we've been through so much a lot and had a taste of how it feels like to be a 'mother' at an early age.

It's also good to make our singleness worthwhile so that we could have meaningful stories to tell our future partner 💕

Belated happy singles day! haha

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1 year ago

Am not the first child but the eldest daughter and serves as the second mother in our family.. Better be single. We can do everything we want .. But if God will give us the right one, then why not.? As for now, let us enjoy being single. 🤣🤣 Belated happy singles day 🤣

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1 year ago

Oh yeah, I remember your article from months ago about your family. Your not the first born but carry on the responsibilities of a first born, so I think it's the same lol.

Right! haha if the right one comes along, di ko rin naman tatanggihan 😂

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1 year ago

Oo kc nag asawa na mga panganay..

Aba oo nmn wag tanggihan..bsta yun ang ibinigay ni Lord. . Wala ako standards actually..bsta mabait, responsable and will love me unconditionally. Yun lng yun 😁

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1 year ago

Ayiee di ka naman pala mahirap iplease ng guy kung sakali ❤️

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1 year ago

Dpende..haha.. Mahirap magain ang trust ko lol

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1 year ago

This doesn't mean that when you are single, you are lonely. We are the same imon this matter, I don't want to rush just to be in when everybody, I am happy that I am so much available right now because I have all my time, unlike when you have a boyfriend, you are obligated to spend time with him.

I am single because I want it, I'm happy with it and I am really not in a hurry to get in into relationship. And I have a standard too when choosing a lover, it's not that high but I'm still waiting for him. And if ever he won't come, I will be very happy to spend my days with my Puppies.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

I agree with you. Being single gives us so much time and freedom, unlike when you are in a relationship, you are obliged to talk to him, update him and if you fail to do so will surely get a handful of nagging which I think is so annoying. sometimes those guys gets too clingy and I really hate that part.

We should be happy with the choices we made. Congrats on living a happy single life ❣️

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1 year ago

Being clingy is okay for me but not too much, just 5 percent clingyness haha.

Yay to that, cheers. Singlehood eh? Haha

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1 year ago

hahaha too active here eh? Yeah cheers to singlehood! 😂

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1 year ago

Hahaha, yah, I am loving my stay here that I am forgetting that I jabe works to do haha. It can wait but this cannot hihi. Cheers

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1 year ago

Check your nose, you might get a nosebleed for being too active here hahahaha 😂

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I am actually experiencing thtmat now, It is so hard to speak the language im not good at, bonjour 😂

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1 year ago

But at least you don't spam like a bangla 😂

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1 year ago

Hey Im seeing a lot of spam comment in everywhere, in every article that I visit I mean my gosh.

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1 year ago

Yeah, just downvote them lol So annoying.

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1 year ago

Im doing just that 😝

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1 year ago

It's better to a single. You can feel the freedom of your life. There is no pain in single life. Eat, sleep, and do enjoy. Nothing about caring

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1 year ago

That's absolutely right! haha Eat, sleep and Enjoy is a good description of a single life 😂

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1 year ago

Yeah! That's!

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1 year ago

Right person comes at the right time. Sabi nga patience is a virtue. So antay antay lang tayo dadating din nya.

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1 year ago

Sure yan. Natraffic lang kasi yun 😆

$ 0.00
1 year ago

O baka na stranded. Linggo linggo ba namang may bagyo.

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1 year ago

Tsaka pandemic pa, baka di pa nakakakuha ng travel pass 🤣

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1 year ago

Baka...😂

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1 year ago

Happy Singles Day! 😀😀😀

Pihikan ka pala, well wala naman masama dun. As long as masaya ka, push lang teh! ❤

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Hahahah 11.11 singles day nga pala ngayon, sakto yung topic 😅

Epekto momshie ng kaka wattpad at kdrama, ayan naging pihikan na 🤣

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1 year ago

Hahaha, same with my daughter. Tumaas ang standards sa lalaki dhil sa wattpad.

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1 year ago

pero di naman sobrang taas ng standards ko na yung mala Jonaxx boys or Lee Jong Suk na ang gusto ko hehe, reasonable pa naman po.

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1 year ago

Relationship doesn't really define happiness. We can be genuinely happy even when we're single and alone. Happy singles day! ❤️

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Absolutely right!

$ 0.00
1 year ago

You should enjoy being single but you gotta understand that men generally do lack that emotional vulnerability and empathy that most females have an excess of. It's so rare to find guys that can empathize with your problems because they don't really discuss that among their guy friends din, usually dinadaan sa biro. Just something to remind you lang ^w^

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Thanks for that reminder. Ganyan din ang point ni @Jeaneth and I'll try not to focus much on that aspect.

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1 year ago

I just saw tbh 😂😂😂 but seriously, giys are slow with emotional stuff ;;-;; I'm happy that my bf can catch on to my mood the moment he thinks something is off but most guys can't do that. And i guess experiences will vary but i never relied on standards because i am bisexual after all. Just one thing to go by based on my experience though. Can you imagine a good life with your partner. One where you'll both be happy. That's how i ended up staying with my bf now

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Nice one

$ 0.00
1 year ago

So sad

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Cheers to singlehood! And yes, guys who can't spell right is definitely a turn off, especially if they can't even spell my name.. Like seriously? They've always typed my name as Jean or Jen when it's actually Jane. We really do have a lot in common.. Lol..

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Yay! Seriously?! You should really give thought whether to be with that kind of guy haha. I mean, how could he even not spell your name right when it fact, it would show how interested he is with you. Being interested means he should at least make an effort to know more about you and name is an inclusion. Yeah, seems like we do have a lot in common 💕

$ 0.00
1 year ago

As the song goes " you can't hurry love, you just have to wait".... Now at my age I don't believe in Destiny haha. You are the one who holds your own fate. Whether you will marry or not, it's all up to you. But much better if you are ready mentally and financially.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

I also don't believe in destiny kahit sa edad kong 'to. It's up to us how we'll end up in life depending on the choices we make.

P.S. Sorry di ko alam kung bakit nasa spam 'to huhu. Hinanap ko naman sa notif ko pero wala, di rin to nag appear sa notif ko kanina, ano kayang problema 🤔😪

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Oo nga eh di ko din alam parang ang mga comments ko nasa spam kahit sa Article ko. Meron na naman ata spammers. Wlang ibang ginawa kundi ang mang spam ng mga comments.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Paano kaya 'to nangyari na hindi lumabas sa notif ko? Nagulat nga ako pagbukas ko ng article may isang spam eh hindi naman ako nagmomove to spam. Oo parang bumabalik na naman nga yung mga spammera haays. Napapansin ko dim sa articles ko na may mga 'nice' keme comments.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Pat na downvote ata comments mo. Nka hide siya. May nkalagay low score comment. Ewan ko haha. Hayaan na sila.

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1 year ago

Yeah. Enjoy being single and prepare for the man that God allowed. I have friends who are still single and still patiently waiting and praying for a man that they prayed for. They are on their 30th but still they are enjoying being singles. They are successful with their careers, they do travels and get along with other people and meet new friends.

$ 0.01
User's avatar Yen
1 year ago

That's exactly what I want to do. And I forgot to add that I'm afraid of getting into a relationship while I'm not yet financially stable. It would be good to go on dates not relying on the guy hehe

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Strong independent woman lang ang peg non. Hehe

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User's avatar Yen
1 year ago

hehe parang ganon nga 😅

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Indeed, it's not a race. The best has yet to come. Trust God's plan

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Absolutely, and it will surely be better than our plans.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Mas maganda mag settle pag ayos na lahat dibaa?

$ 0.00
1 year ago

True 💕

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Got it ❤

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ayiiii. Hahahaha

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User's avatar Yen
1 year ago

Hala Mamsh! ano yung Ayiii? Hahaha

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Wala hahahaha. Kasi single ka din Diba. Ganyan din ba reason mo?

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User's avatar Yen
1 year ago

Yes Mamsh. haha malay mo kami pala talaga Charot 😂

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ai iba hahahaha. Kinikilig ako haha

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User's avatar Yen
1 year ago

Haha Charot lang yan Mamsssh.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

What's with the ayiii momshie? 😅

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Wala hahahaha.

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User's avatar Yen
1 year ago

Di pa nagcocomment yung mga single. Busy siguro sa mga kabit nila 😂😂😂

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1 year ago

I would like to comments on my own beliefs here because I want to, I have the right to express my views and opinions 😂😂

Hooray! for being single there's no rush in relationships.. I wanted to be single too but since I was 18 years old until now I was never single anymore 😂😂 ! I want to flirt as many as I can but sadly I am in a relationship 😂😂😂😂 lol.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

haha as much as I would love to, Ican't stop you from expressing your opinion because you already commented 😂✌🏻 what can I do? 🤣🤣

$ 0.00
1 year ago

But on a serious note, just go for the things wherein you are comfortable and happy. I hope you won't regret anything from your choices and live life to the fullest.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Thanks for that. I'll make sure to live my single life to the fullest so as not to regret anything 😁

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1 year ago