"And they live happily ever after."
This is the cliché ending I always look forward to in every novel I read back when I was still a teenager. And it's the same when I'm watching dramas and movies. I always feel happy to watch every beautiful ending.
Most fiction stories ends with the protagonists marrying each other and it makes us really happy to see that. But in reality, happily ever after doesn't end after getting married. In real life, marriage is the start of something new. Start of a new life together and somewhere along the way, they will encounter a lot of challenges. Since marriage is a lifelong commitment, it is only right to build a strong foundation so that couples will have a happy and lasting marriage.
I'm single for crying out loud so why am I writing this? Well, believe it or not but most of my friends who are already married (and are older than me) always comes to me for advice whenever they have a problem with their spouses. And recently, a close friend back in college is having a problem with her husband and asking for advices again, so I was inspired to write something about marriage. This is purely based on my previous learnings, observations and extensive research.
Marriage.
The bible's records shows that the first ever wedding ever performed is when God initiated Adam and Eve's marriage, it is recorded in Genesis 2:18-24. It was a simple wedding compared to how it is now. Nowadays, amid this pandemic I still see a lot of people getting married. Some are extravagant and some are just so-so.
But getting married is not easy.
Here are some of the things to remember when preparing for a wedding:
You have family members (probably your parents or siblings) who would definitely be happy and excited for you, and for sure they have suggestions for making the wedding day better but their suggestions may not fit into the budget or you may not like it. It's okay to listen to suggestions but remember that in the end, you are still the one to make decissions regarding the wedding. It is okay to decline some suggestions in a kind way.
Wedding does not have to be extravagant. You do not have to please people and be profligate even if you can no longer afford the budget. Remember that you have a new life to face after the wedding day. It is not good to start a family if you are in debt because of the expenses you spent on your marriage.
Yes, many are excited for you, but you do not need to invite everyone you know. Family and close friends are enough to witness your important day.
In planning, you will definitely encounter problems. Rather than exaggerate the issue and make things worse, it is best to discuss the problem properly, and this will test your ability to handle tense situations.
You will definitely have a lot to take care of. To avoid being too stressful, you can ask for help from trusted friends and family.
Before getting married, it is best to talk about money matters.
No matter how long you are in relationship, it doesn't mean that you already know each other's real personality because people tends to show only the positive sides of them to flatter others or to show them their good side. Once you are already married and lives together, that's the time that you'll see each other's flaws and negative sides and you may find it annoying.
Here's what can help you:
Love - love your husband or wife no matter what because you promised to each other in front of people and in front of God that you'll love each other. There may some problems that may arise but your intense love for each other will help you get over those problems and challenges. Along with love is forgiveness, don't make the issues big and be forgiving instead.
Joy - it is important to find joy in simple things that your husband or wife do for you. A simple appreciation may mean a lot.
Peace - seeking peace instead of arguments.
Patience - they say that patience is a virtue. No matter how much you love each other but because we are all imperfect humans, there are times that we make mistakes. It's the same with married people, the other may make simple nistakes but being patient with each other will help you have a long lasting marriage.
Kindness - Kind treatment, kind deeds and kind words are the ingredients to have a happier relationship. Don't ask for unrealistic demands from your mate and avoid saying harsh words even when you have misunderstanding.
Mildness - when angry and under pressure, it is very hard for most people to control their tongue and we are more likely inclined to say undesirable things. So when your husband or wife did something to offend you and if you have some sort of misunderstanding, instead of bursting in anger, calm yourself first and talk to each other in a mild and humble way. A sincere communication will foster peace and will help both of you to make amends.
Self-control - as I observe my parents, I can say that this is the hardest thing to do in marriage. Controlling ourselves is really hard specially when we're angry but when you learn to control yourself and your emotions, it is very rewarding. Being kind and tactful, being forgiving and patience will help you gain self control.
These are actually, what I learned as I studied the bible. These qualities are what the bible says in Galatians 5:22 as the fruitage of the spirit and when cultivated, it will help all of us to be a better person and have a better relationship with other people.
I am not a marriage counselor but I hope that what I discussed here is somehow helpful and if I missed some points, comment it down below so we can discuss it.
And always remember that marriage is not the end of a beautiful story but the start of something new.
Hey guys, Esciisc is back! It's been days since I published something and I hope that you are still willing to read and support my articles. And I hope that this article somehow makes sense to you and I hope that it doesn't bore you 😊
Enjoy reading!
Hello @Myt.24 haha I hope this also makes sense to you mah friend 😁
Why do you consider it as a mystery? 🤔
Why marriage. People can live together even without marriage. This is my humble opinion.
Marriage is just the beginning. Doon mo makikita or madidiskubre ang totoong ugali nila pareho. Haha. Para sakin masasabi ko lang na Happily Ever After ang isang love story pag, magkasama pa din kayo at masaya until your 80's. 💪 With your grand daughters and sons 😍
Understanding, trust... Cond... I mean tiwala to each other, communication naku napaka important nyan.
I also agree with what you just said. I forgot about it while writing this article hehe but good thing that i forgot so you can comment it 😂 Yes, happily ever after is when both of you are already old and amoy lupa na but you still love each other and care for each other just like when you are still young 😍 (Sanaol na lang haha)
Hey I got what you mean by that trust. My workmates we're having those dirty talks and infected my innocent mind 😅
Ahahah, it's okay lang, ganyan daw kasi talaga pag matagal ng bakante't walang jowa sa kasalukuyan 😭 nagiging malilimutin na, huhu, parang mee, bit still happee yippeeee. Haha. Noong nagpakasal kayo, kala mo happy ka na hanggang dulo tapos impyerno pala ang nasadlakan mo, naku naku, pag nagsama talaga doon palang lalabas ang totoong ikaw, yung mabait sadista pala, malas. 🤦 Dami ko nakikita sa fb na ganyan ee.
Hahaha, nagetching mo, 😂 matagal ng infected utak ko, kaya maghahawa ako dito 😂
Pag nakakakita nga ako ng mga ganyan sa social media platforms, natutuwa ako na single ako at minsan naiisip ko na mas mabuti pang magpaka single forever kaysa naman maexperience pa yung ganyan. Kahit sabihin pa na super bait ng jowa mo pero pag nagpakasal gor sure lalabas ang tunay na kulay niyan and people are subject to change. Kaya there is no guarantee na puro kasiyahan ang naghihintay after marriage. I therefore conclude na mas mabuti pa rin ang walang jowa 😂
Yaaay! Don't! I've been trying to forget those green thoughts I learned from them and I don't want to pollute my mind even more (chaaar! Parang di nanonood ng kdrama at nagbabasa ng wattpad eh 😅)
Ay same tayo jan , in my mind "Okay lang maiwan sa byahe, di naman ako nagmamadali, i will take my time and enjoy my freedom, yess!!!" Haha. I mean, namimiss ko din ang feeling ng may jowa pero, ay wala din nga palang nanliligaw sakin kaya till now singol pa din me 😭. Pero seriously talaga, ayaw ko pa talaga, eenjoy ko muna ang me time ko nang walang kahati sa oras, ako lang tapos mga gawaing bahay 😭. Di ako nagmamadali, total naranassn ko na namang lumandi noo so saoat na yun, 4 yrs na my gosh, I'm so proud of myself 🤧.
But you can't stop me, i already started na nga ee, nakapag hasik na ako ng lagim sa iba, kaso yung iba deadma, di nila gets 🤧
You did justice to this topic , well am not married also, there are lots to marriage and it not bed of roses if I and my siblings still fights over small issues I wonder how marriage would be
I'm happy to know that i gave justice to the topic. Thanks for the appreciation. I also don't want to jump into relationship (and marriage) yet even though I'm old enough to get married because at the age of 25, my dad still see me (and my siblings) like babies. And me and my siblings still fight over a simple butter, a simple skin of friend chicken and many other petty fights, how much more if I get married 😅
I agree that marriage is not the end of a beautiful story but the beginning of it. But we should not expect marriage to be full of bliss. There will come a time that there will be misunderstandings between the couple especially when times of financial difficulties. One must be strong and patient and discuss the matters calmy so that it will not get worst and might destroy the marriage.
Absolute right! Patience is the key when dealing with misunderstanding hehe (talking like a married woman eh? 🤭)
It would be an advantage for you to learn these thing before getting into a relationship that leads to marriage. Di halatang walang jowa🤭
Ay wala pong ganyanan, wag mo nyo namang ipagdiinan na wala akong jowa, baka mamaya maisipan kong mag jowa ng wala sa oras 😂 haha just kidding, I'm glad that I already know these things even when I'm still single and I hope that when I'm already married, I can look back and carry out these advices because they say that it's easy to give an advice when you're not in that specific situation. I'll see for myself how true is that.
🤣🤣🤣 Nahuli sa sariling salita😁 It true... Its easy to advice when you are not in the situation. 😅 But atleast you are armored with knowledge and won't be surprise when you get there. 😁
The question is will I ever be able to get there? 😅
Wel, l there are only two destinations people are travelling
This is hilarious but I'd rather choose the latter than to reach grave without being bale to experience the good things in life 😁 Anyways I still have 5 years to wait before deciding whether to get married or not hehe
Thanks for this article. Actually, I do have an idea regarding what I need to face after getting married, but this reminds me of it... And I need to be realistic. Thanks again for sharing this. 😊
Meron namang forever hahahaha... Kmi ng husband ko, 20 years na together, inde madali pero kinakaya..give and take lng kami, pag isa mainit ulo, tatahimik ang isa and vice versa. And believe me madali lng magbigay ng advice sa iba pero pag sayo na nangyare, mahihiraPan ka na..
Sanaol po may forever haha And yes, totoo po talaga yan, most of the time ang dali lang magbigay ng advice kapag wala ka sa sitwasyon. Kaya siguro ang dali para sakin mag advice sa friends ko kasi di ko naman talaga naiintindihan yung totoong nararamdaman nila 😅 Pero most of the time naman nagwowork yung advice ko 😁
Marriage is full of commitment, but the relationship doesn't end at marriage actually it is just the beginning of your miserable life, Charot! Haha
hahahaha that miserable life is sooo funny but it's actually quite true for others 😅
Haha, Miserable yet, Happy
Sanaol happy pa rin kahit miserable na 🤭😂
Always happy lang po 😂
This article is dedicated to soon to be bride @Myt.24 😅
Hahaha... Yeah. This really helps me.
hahahaha yes mommy Yen. But I think she knows this already 😅
Im sure hehe.
Great one...
Thank you
There is no such happy ending. If the both of you not working. Working out the relationship to last or to end the choice is in the hands of the both of you. As for me Walang Forever haha. There's always changes wether it's bad or good. There's no permanent there is no forever it's the real reality.
Walang Forever hahaha bitterness at it's finest. I also believe that wala talagang forever but when couples work their marriage out they can have a long lasting lifetime (instead of forever) relationship 😊
yeah if you found that forever don't ever let it go... because once he's gone he will never coming back... I'm talking about also the attitude there's no forever the world change and so people too. Once sweet but now bitter haha.
Once sweet but now bitter
Change is constant and people change too that's why
yeah hopefully change for the better not for the worst but it's life and I'm already in. Ikaw diyan ka muna sa out haha. Think a billion times.
And sa mga nakikita and naoobserve ko sa ibang married people feeling ko forever (or lifetime) na ko sa out haha
haha wag naman it's the happiest feeling having a children although so tiring haha. But it's not easy to be alone too. Maybe your lucky in finding Mr. Forever wow Sulat ka Finding Mr. Forever 😆 joke lng pero Malay natin in the future there is only one and just for you reserve by God baka di pa pinapanganak✌️
Hahahaa yay! Baka maging pedophile na ko niyan kung di pa pinapanganak yung ka forevs ko 😅 Well, my heart's still open for Mr. Forevs if he comes 😊 I still have 5 years left to wait for him.
hahaha I think he will come based on my psychic power😆 charot haha
You can actually be like a married counselor. 😅 so this iswhat you're talking about the other day
Should I apply as a marriage counselor now? 😂 Been working on this for several days actually because I'm afraid of getting bashed by married people here if I'll just provide nonsense infos 😅
It's not non sense.. its all true.. and love isn't the only thing that marriage needs... You can apply as marriage counselor now. 😂
I don't think I still have to apply for a counselor post. My friends usually asks for counselling from me 😂 (but I do it for free 😅)
You're not only good in marriage counseling but in other aspects too
And I hope someone will see those aspects where I'm good at too and love me for that (chaar! 😂)
Count me in. 😊
Marriage doesn't require wealth, what's important is the love and peace between you and your partner. Friendship and trust is the most significant elements a marriage must have and ofcourse prayers is needed..
I agree with you on that. Have you ever heard of the phrase 'a threefold cord makes a strong marriage'? It means that marriage becomes a threefold cord by bringing God into it. And to bring God into your marriage means that you carry out his commandments. No marriage tie could possibly be torn in two if God's divine commandments are carried out. And like you said, prayer is indeed one of the best element in marriage 👍
Even if my marriage started quite unpleasant but yeah prayers work when in fact we have different religions, but the respect in each one's religious beliefs, sharing our knowledge about it gives us a clear understanding in each other's point of view.
Wow. Nice to hear that. Yeah, there are indeed some marriages who doesn't have a pleasant beginning but when marriage mates do their best to make their marriage work it can be beautiful too and can be long lasting 💕
I keep telling people that marriage is a Mistry...so nice article