“When being Strong becomes an Obligation to us, Mothers”

September 11, 2021

Saturday

Mothers are usually called supermoms, the name itself is greatly extraordinary in the ears especially to moms like me. Being considered as a strong woman somehow making mothers special as an individual. But behind the strength, most people believed in, the struggle is there, the battle of being a mom against society is always present, clinging to their shadows.

Mostly, when a woman broadcasted a post online that she gave birth to a healthy bouncing baby, everyone is there, extending their greetings and congratulations. It's a day or a week of being famous in the online universe!

Who doesn't love or wish to have a baby? Seeing those tiny fingers, eyes full of innocence, for sure your heart will melt. So when a woman gave birth, she is now considered blessed, however, after the congratulatory messages, sweet greetings, and instant fame, most mothers, especially first-time moms lives will be most likely to be judged.

There's always an eye everywhere, they are attentive and waiting for your downfall. This is how cruel humanity is, some are kind, understanding, while some are just terrible at judging other people's lives and choices.

And one common victim of that kind of person is the mother.

You won't know how exhausting a day could be unless you're a mother. Perhaps you've heard these lines before,

“Taking care of the family and the household has never been easy.”

Sounds familiar right? Probably you've heard those lines from your mum even just for once.

Weakling is not in our vocabulary, there's no room to be a coward especially when you have children who's depending on you. But being strong as a mom is not only for the family, but to fight against the judgemental eyes around.

How could I say these, or what makes me conclude that moms like me are being judged by society?

Simply because I experienced it.

Some mums could probably relate to me or this article.

It sounds foolish but it’s really happening, there is always a weird feeling to know when buying things for ourselves is considered a crime to the eye of other people. Since we are now mothers, other people (not all) put to their perspectives that we must buy now the needs of the children and the family before us.

I am like this before and still like this today but something little has changed. I used to feel guilty whenever I look for nice clothes online or at any physical stores in my hometown. I used to ignore the women's department stores and search for new outfits. Instead, I am always present in the Baby and Kids area, I am not a materialistic person, I am contented with my old clothes which I put on alternately.

But somehow, when a mom buys new clothing, some people tend to raise their eyebrows. Yet they couldn't understand why mothers like me should buy new stuff too for ourselves. Other people manage to judge without even analyzing first.

As we, mothers gave birth, our bodies are now different from our maiden years, hips may grow bigger, belly fats are growing too. While other people assess us in buying new stuff, we mothers just want to get the self-confidence we used to have while we are youthful. It doesn't mean that we can't be presentable at times too. We're just humans, people.

Also when somebody catches the mother sitting on the couch doing nothing, or caught napping in the afternoon, other people might think she's being too lazy. But the truth is, mothers are not robots, just like anybody else, they are just human beings, they also get tired and more exhausted than anyone else.

When the baby is sick, the mother is always taking the blame. But let me remind you, people, no one, a mother or not, wants a family member to get sick especially the children. You don't know how tough it is to receive condemnation for the things you can't control.

They don't know that mothers are only buying new clothes, treating themselves to some special food, pampering themselves with some beauty care products to earn again the self-worth and self-confidence they lose once. They treat themselves and they deserved it, it's not an easy job to be a mother.

I know, we don't need to justify ourselves to everybody to be understood, however, some of the judgments, the criticisms the mother received could trigger depression and may lower faith in themselves, and lack of self-worth.

Mothers, especially first-time moms, if you don't know are prone to depression. There's this called “Postpartum Depression” and I could attest to it that it's not a joke, it's a serious matter that needs to be told and talked to.

As I read some blogs and queries of other mothers on Facebook, I saw that there are still many of them suffering daily from the harsh society and unappreciative partner or husband they have.

I still remember way back when I was in grade one, I used to hate my mom for always nagging. I hate hearing her complaints, I hate her noisy and loud voice, it's irritating me. But now, I somehow understand and recognized where she is coming from.

Fresh generations are in our hands, depending on our caress and teaching. So mothers need ounces of compassion and gratitude too, not only on mother's day.

They say the most understanding individual you could meet is a mother, but frequently mother is one of the most misunderstood persons in society.

That's why being strong is not only our option, it's way more an obligation. We, mothers, are obliged to be tough due to the circumstances life and the world throws at us, we are required to be strong to survive this crazy civilization we have, for the family, for the kids, and ourselves.

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀

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