Remembering the Old Me

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Avatar for eommaZel
2 years ago

May 12, 2021

Wednesday

Everyone knows me for being a silent type person at home even at school, I make jokes, but only laugh with selected people around me, and I am just mostly quiet at times.

Growing up with an incomplete family is indeed tough. And I believe having a broken family affected me that much.

I was a completely different person from who I am today. I was so careless, reckless, weak, and a cry-baby.

While growing up, I am full of insecurities, just like any teenager with low self-esteem. I let people laugh at me, that I can’t defend myself, not because I am afraid, but because I don’t want to add fire and make the situation hotter. I always let myself shoulder all the responsibilities and took all the blame. I don’t want to see other people suffer I never noticed that I am the one who’s suffering.

Every time people asked me, what’s my dream; I always replied to them with a faint smile. And I’ll try to remember what my elders told me. I need to become a nurse. I need to become a teacher. But honestly, none of them is my cup of tea.

It’s like a bitter pill to swallow to inscribe the things that I don’t want to. As a kid, I felt I was imprisoned with a vision of somebody’s will. Not my “own”. I even became uncertain of what I truly want in life, because I know whatever it is, in the end, it won’t still happen. So after I graduated from college, what's noted in my head is that I need to find a job and earn money. That’s all.

If you want to read what was my first job all about you can read this article I wrote. A Dining Staff

Until in the new world that I’m in, in the city, I met the difficulties of living alone. I’m used to be alone, but I’m living in a completely different world now full of strangers. I found a new family at my workplace but not in the street that I used to rent a room. I was almost harassed by a roommate but I thanked God I was saved and find the courage to escape.

The feeling was like hell and I don’t want to remember it anymore. And that’s why I hate my old self, for being too weak and careless, and for trusting people easily without thinking of the possibilities that might occur.

I became a different girl after that day. I never trust men easily. I was prone to harassment because I’m too weak. I need to be tough and that’s what I told myself. I learned to say no and ignore people. If before I let other people abuse my weakness by doing and saying always yes to them, I am now changed by the circumstance that I experienced.

I am still vulnerable at times, but I’m not too weak unlike before. Those experiences traumatized me for being too good to people. I now learn to value myself, my importance, and my dignity.

I will not blame other people for the misery that I had encountered before. It was purely my fault for letting them stepped on me.

I am now completely changed and to my old self, I have said my farewell to her. The old me will always be known but I won’t let it go back.

Now, the girl people used to laugh at regain her dreams, she’s ready now to make a change in her life. She’s now getting and setting goals after goals, and ready to face the future with enthusiasm.

Though those experiences were terrible, I am still grateful to meet them. Those are the reason why I was changed and chose to be better, simply because I don’t want to be miserable anymore in life.

I thought life was hard before, but later I realized I am only the one who’s making it hard to deal with. Life is just waiting for us to make. We are the ones who are making it, from the decisions we’ve made, the choices we took.

Now I am currently in a great community that’s making my life’s journey even more amazing, my life became more colorful. Oh, how lucky I am to be a part of this crypto world. Who would think that the weakling many years ago is now paving her way in the crypto universe?

Well, I’m not exaggerating it but I’m currently loyal to the Bitcoin Cash community and a proud member of the #Club1BCH Family.

I am still an ordinary woman but the only difference is I have BCH in my hands and my life now. Thinking to hold even just one full of it makes me feel special now. But, oops! I am not there yet; my goal is still in progress.

I still need to save 0.37 BCH more until 1BCH and this year is the year that I know I’ll achieve it. I’m just thinking positively! I missed doing that many years ago for always looking down on myself. Now I learned to chin up, failure or not at least I tried right?

But who knows? I’m not quitting and will never quit. I am certain that 1BCH is possible. I’m now renewed; the old weakling inside of me isn’t here anymore.

Though I may fail at times, stumble, and fall I am sure that I can stand up now with a chin-up while facing life’s challenges. My experiences made me who I am today, those lessons I learned will always be remembered, to my old self, thank you for existing but I won’t need you now. Just inspire me to be better and will also be recognized.

*By the way I would like to extend my gratitude to everyone who wished for my upcoming wedding. I am so pleased and excited too! Thank you so many guys for your warm wishes, I highly appreciate it all.

My recent article link: “How Far Bitcoin Cash Had Helped Me”

Written by: @eommaZel ✍🏻🥀


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2 years ago

Comments

Every time people asked me, what’s my dream; I always replied to them with a faint smile. And I’ll try to remember what my elders told me. I need to become a nurse. I need to become a teacher. But honestly, none of them is my cup of tea.

Nakakarelate ako dyan sis. haha. Pero grabe ung naharass ka be. Ang hirap talaga pag bago ka sa isang lugar at kung madali ka magtiwala buti na lang nasave ka. And I'm happy mas confident kana at mas alam mona gusto mo unlike before. Looking forward seeing ang reading your 1BCH goal . :)

Lastly, Best Wishes. Enjoy your upcoming wedding. Yan na ang isa sa inaantay mong biyaya. Iba pa din kasi talaga pag kasal na. Enjoy that day :)

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Oo sis, jusko 18 palang ako nun bilis2 ko mgtiwala sa tao hayss. First time ko din kasi mamuhay ng mag isa yung as in ako lng walang kakilala sa lugar. Natrauma nko, kahit ngayon makakita ako ng lalaking mukhang do gagawa ng mabuti todo iwas nku. Hayss.

Thanks sis ehhee. Mejo malayo pko sa 1BCH nku mukhang matatagalan pa bgo maachieve.

Thanks ulit sis, Gracee. Kaya nga ilang years din kming ngplano now lng ntupad. Thank you BCH talga. 💚💚

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Naging judgemental ka pla after nung incident 😅di mo naman kasi yun maiiwasan eh no kasi daming maniac sa tabi tabi

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Those challenges are really made to make us tougher person madam.. Because of those experiences you become who you are now..stronger and smarter.. Pro mas excited ako sa kasal mo. 😁

$ 0.05
2 years ago

Ayieh. Kaka kilig naman yan hehehe. Thanks Jane ganda., 😘

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ayieh. Kaka kilig naman yan hehehe. Thanks Jane ganda., 😘

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I love the story of yours. Im really looking for an article that not only about bch , atlist have a a story. .. I joined read and noise last week of December.. but I'm not that active coz I find it boring 😂. But now I'm enjoying it because there are people now that interact genuinely. And you're right, people change base to what their experience.

$ 0.05
2 years ago

I love to share my stories here and my experiences. I'm only a noob when it comes to the crypto world. But my strength here is the experience I had encountered. I sometimes fail to interact too due to occupied schedules but I'm always trying. 😊

$ 0.00
2 years ago

I'm just here to practice my English 😂. I think writing an article will help me to expand my vocabulary. Having friends here and noisecash is very very big bonus

-praxis

$ 0.00
2 years ago