[#142] Date: 18th October, 2021
Was gossiping with a friend about a true-life story, which made me wonder yet again if there is true love in this world. I'm asking not because I have not found it myself, but because of all the sh!tty couple stories that I have the misfortune to come across. I am someone who is interested in people, so from what I observed of the couples in my circle of family and friends, people stick together not because of love, but for self-benefit.
Many years ago, I had dealings with a guy, and so met him quite often. This guy told me that there's no "love" in life, and people marry so that the man can make use of the woman, and vice versa. I looked at him with large eyes, but I didn't pass comment. Years later now, I do think there's truth in what he said. Remember the couple that I shared, where the guy openly admitted that he didn't love his wife but married her just because he was already in his 30s, and still single and so was she?
The Chinese believe that a man and a woman become spouses in this lifetime because of karma in their respective past lives. There is a folklore that goes like this:
A man fell in love with a woman but he found out later that the woman married another person. He was so heartbroken that he fell ill. Many people tried to heal him but were unsuccessful until a Sifu (or spiritual master) was brought in to see him.
This Sifu decided to look into his past life. He saw this woman lying naked, dead by the road of the countryside. Three men passed by her.
The first man walked past without helping her.
The second man walked past, took off his shirt, and covered her.
The third man walked past, saw her (covered), and buried her by digging a grave.
In this life, she crossed paths with the second and third men and married the one who buried her.
The man who was sick is the second man. After he knew the story of his previous life, he got well and accepted the situation, that he didn't do enough for the woman when she needed help, dead by the roadside.
Those who are not superstitious will think that this is all nonsense but karma is indeed real, in my opinion. That's why there are so many things that we cannot explain logically because they are a continuation of our previous life. Some could be on Chapter 2, some Chapter 4, and so on.
Another friend believes that true love is real and cited how, despite the many arguments between her grandparents, they are still together. Oh no, I don't buy that. That's a couple in the old generation where the woman would have no personal money and thus, nowhere to go should she leave her husband, even if he was abusive mentally and physically. Besides, back in the day, a divorcee or single mother was stigmatized by society, not like modern times. Today, no woman would take sh!t from the man if he misbehaves, because today's women are earning their keep through the empowerment of education and career.
If men can birth children and women are self-sufficient, I don't think there's anyone who would want to get married. Why would they want to catch worms into their own backside (look for trouble)?
What do you think? What's your argument? Is there real love or not? Although I don't believe there is, I think I can't make a sweeping statement that there is totally none. Well, maybe just 0.01% of relationships are based on true love. What's your take? Opinions, opinions...
*Lead photo by cottonbro from Pexels