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Is True Love Even Real

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Avatar for emily2u
Written by   221
1 month ago

[#142] Date: 18th October, 2021

Was gossiping with a friend about a true-life story, which made me wonder yet again if there is true love in this world. I'm asking not because I have not found it myself, but because of all the sh!tty couple stories that I have the misfortune to come across. I am someone who is interested in people, so from what I observed of the couples in my circle of family and friends, people stick together not because of love, but for self-benefit.

Many years ago, I had dealings with a guy, and so met him quite often. This guy told me that there's no "love" in life, and people marry so that the man can make use of the woman, and vice versa. I looked at him with large eyes, but I didn't pass comment. Years later now, I do think there's truth in what he said. Remember the couple that I shared, where the guy openly admitted that he didn't love his wife but married her just because he was already in his 30s, and still single and so was she?

The Chinese believe that a man and a woman become spouses in this lifetime because of karma in their respective past lives. There is a folklore that goes like this:

A man fell in love with a woman but he found out later that the woman married another person. He was so heartbroken that he fell ill. Many people tried to heal him but were unsuccessful until a Sifu (or spiritual master) was brought in to see him.

This Sifu decided to look into his past life. He saw this woman lying naked, dead by the road of the countryside. Three men passed by her.

The first man walked past without helping her.

The second man walked past, took off his shirt, and covered her.

The third man walked past, saw her (covered), and buried her by digging a grave.

In this life, she crossed paths with the second and third men and married the one who buried her.

The man who was sick is the second man. After he knew the story of his previous life, he got well and accepted the situation, that he didn't do enough for the woman when she needed help, dead by the roadside.

Those who are not superstitious will think that this is all nonsense but karma is indeed real, in my opinion. That's why there are so many things that we cannot explain logically because they are a continuation of our previous life. Some could be on Chapter 2, some Chapter 4, and so on.

Another friend believes that true love is real and cited how, despite the many arguments between her grandparents, they are still together. Oh no, I don't buy that. That's a couple in the old generation where the woman would have no personal money and thus, nowhere to go should she leave her husband, even if he was abusive mentally and physically. Besides, back in the day, a divorcee or single mother was stigmatized by society, not like modern times. Today, no woman would take sh!t from the man if he misbehaves, because today's women are earning their keep through the empowerment of education and career.

If men can birth children and women are self-sufficient, I don't think there's anyone who would want to get married. Why would they want to catch worms into their own backside (look for trouble)?

What do you think? What's your argument? Is there real love or not? Although I don't believe there is, I think I can't make a sweeping statement that there is totally none. Well, maybe just 0.01% of relationships are based on true love. What's your take? Opinions, opinions...

*Lead photo by cottonbro from Pexels

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Avatar for emily2u
Written by   221
1 month ago
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Comments

let's seeeee.....

I do agree and know there is true love. I guess we (in general) just never really accepted true love that's why we cannot share it with others. We get stuck in the loop of convenience. it is after all the language of our generation - instant things for convenience.

That also goes with the notion that "true love" has to always go "my way" because otherwise "you don't truly love me" . I think more than ever true love got replaced with subtle self-centeredness and we are too blinded to spot it and reverse it - hence maybe the cycle of karma on endless loop for generations...

$ 0.06
1 month ago

I like the way you think! True love might also mean, let's do it "your way" because that's how you want it and I want you to be happy... haha does it work this way, too?? LOL

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Lols! Yes and eventually problematic because at some point. . that will feel one-sided... Ahhahah.. ahhaha then we go back to trying to figure out what IS true love? Hahahahha....

$ 0.00
1 month ago

It's neverending, Pichi!!! 🤣

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Well, once again you triggered a lot of existential insights! LOL Great stuff and I love the subject. Thank you, Emily.

because I will likely ramble, how about a song by Roxette which you've likely already heard, but it seems particularly appropriate at the moment.

It Just Happens (by Roxette) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yf0ehfmyz6A

I think love, as most anything in life, is self based. At least love, as an emotion, is an experience that one has. If there was a group of a few people I would assume I loved most it would be me, myself and I ... though we're a bit of an odd (but oftentimes entertaining LOL ;) triplet.

... but to extend upon that further, there are things that "we" enjoy / desire in life and appreciate or desire to grow and have be / or remain a part of life etc.

Alright, I would like to be highly analytical and logical and attempt to describe my current perspective / view on the subject but fundamentally I believe the concept of eternal love has an aspect that is infinite and can't be put into a box, though it can be entertaining to attempt to do so and I'll simply go ahead and leave it up to you as to if / what you might find interesting in these ideas :) hugsters once again.

I would tend to say that that form of eternal love doesn't exist in any specifically describable form, just like life changes and evolves and how things are seen / experienced etc. for today is not necessarily how things will be tomorrow.

Anyway, I guess the "next summary" is that "Me, myself and I" would like to include "My girlfriend" as a 4th individual, but it's a challenge seeing as even the 3 of us are quite challenge! LOL :D

My guess is it's a broad spectrum of things evolving (generally, in parallel) over time.

As a crazy sidenote - in "Western science" it's already basically considered a fact that there are wavelengths / colors outside the visible rainbow spectrum, but my guess is that there are even a potentially infinite number of (so far unseen) colors "between" the ones that are physically detectable (at the moment).

So, anyway, I (currently) think "true love", as something that continues on irregardless of specific circumstances, is not really containable to any specific form that could be put into a box or precisely described ... and so maybe 'no', true love isn't 'real' in any specific way ... it's just always around.

My best way of saying it at the moment is huggies (and copies a black rectangle, from memory ;), too!)

🧸 <- don't ya just luv them rectangles?! haha :))

Catchya 'round girl!

$ 0.04
1 month ago

Hahhaa you and your photocopy memory! Yes, your black rectangle IS the huggy bear!! We need two of them 🧸 🧸

Thank you for explaining your point of view with me on true love. Although I must admit, I do not get 100% of what you are saying.

But like you ramble "too much", I just think "too much" for nothing. We need to ramble just enough, and think just enough. Like Goldilocks!

$ 0.00
1 month ago

I believe there is true love, however I have seen lots of relationships ended really bad. My experience and based on what I have seen is that there are no long term relationships between most people, therefore there is no true love between them. It looks like more of a trend that nowadays couples are together for short term only.

$ 0.08
1 month ago

Sorry to read about your experience. Now I think that there is true love, for that short period of time. It was good while it lasted, so to speak.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Ummmh. I sometimes wonder this as well. Is true love real? If it is why do we have people that claim they love themselves divorcing. There's always a saying that if you rush in, you will rush out. True love is loving irrespective of the person's flaws

$ 0.03
1 month ago

True but what if the flaws get more and more as we age? hahaha I am just thinking too much!!!

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Lol.its actually normal to think this way. I do too. But I think these things are just mysteries. Once you've decided on loving someone, get ready to deal with whatever flaw that the person has or anyone that might generate later. But it's very hard. 😆🤣😂😹😆

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Haha I'm laughing just reading your comment... we generate flaws as we get older. 🤣🤣🤣

$ 0.00
1 month ago

The majority of us have this flawed thinking that links true love with romantic love. That's not even the case. A parent's unconditional love towards a child is true and real.

$ 0.03
1 month ago

It is, but I was referring to the love between two individuals, not parent-child. We can't marry our parents. Hahaha!!

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Hahaha qnd we shouldn't hahaa

$ 0.00
1 month ago

love is real we come to the point that the first time we look at that woman is that we fall in love immediately sometimes we think that when I really love that woman wah that's one of the happiest days we have in the world over us, especially when you become with situations coming that we don't expect and testing the relationship between the two of you how strong and how much you love each other😊❤️, I hope that happens to me 😊🤣😅 hahaha d it's bad to hope😊❤️

Maam emilyyyy hahahaha sana all😊❤️

$ 0.03
1 month ago

Sana all! I hope it happens to you, and also to me!!

$ 0.00
1 month ago

At the beginning there must be true love, otherwise couples do not work, because you will always have ups and downs and one must complement the other, that is where true love is.

$ 0.03
1 month ago

I've read too much about the 7-year itchy where couples fall out of love. Sad that it happens so often, but that's where one has to be mature enough to handle the situation.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

It exist like what I witness with my parents but personally I haven't experience that thing. Seeing today it seems so hard to find one because loves to play the lustful love.

$ 0.03
1 month ago

Oh, I am so happy for your parents. They have really set the bar very high for you to emulate. I hope you get your true love also one day.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Soon when everything is okay.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

I'm not sure yet if it's exist as I haven't experience that true love that they are saying. I mean, I just want to be in a relationship before, someone to lean on and to talk, or to ease my boredom. I'm not even sure if I even love them before. So I don't know, not sure. Does it really exist?

$ 0.03
1 month ago

I think even that kind of relationship that you had before can turn into true love. Who knows?

$ 0.00
1 month ago

True love do exist dear. But human being hardly respect that. That's why people are losing faith.

$ 0.03
1 month ago

Yes, people lose faith and hope easily, when they are faced with hardships. Myself included.

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Yes, true love exists, but it's not nearly as common as people like to think it is. Love doesn't always equal compatibility, nor does it mean that people are meant to stay together for a lifetime. I believe people can have more than one true love in their lifetime.

$ 0.08
1 month ago

I like your thought about having more than one true love in their lifetime. Problem starts when the true love happens at the same time!! HAHAHAHA

$ 0.00
1 month ago

Even the most true love consists of a relationship of mutual interest, but I consider it normal.

$ 0.06
1 month ago

Thank you for sharing your insight. That's what I think also.

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1 month ago

True love, hmmmm. If there is a true love, there must be a false love? Doesn't sound right. So, perhaps what there is would be one's great love. It doesn't excuse mistakes and imperfection, but then that's the person that walks (and stays) with you through all of life's ups and downs, good and bad. In this day and age, when people can jump into relationships, and discard them just as easily, it is quite hard to think of true love. But there are quite a number of elder couples that remain devoted to each other - not just staying together for benefits - but because they truly care for each other and that's why when one dies, the other shortly follows.

$ 0.08
1 month ago

Hahaha your comment about false love made me laugh aloud. Yep, I know what you meant about that one great love but then how many people experience that? That's why I admitted that I can't make a sweeping statement because there is just that fraction of 0.01% of relationships that fall into this "greatest love of all" category.

$ 0.05
1 month ago

Greatest love? Oh wow! What does that encompass? Great love is good. If people are more willing to invest in nurturing relationships, there would probably be a bigger fraction of couples who can find their great loves.

$ 0.08
1 month ago