Me when left alone

I think of coffee and writing and burgers. Currently disappointed by how noodles taste so not including them for now.

I think of sleeping and games and relaxing. I want to go around town to exercise thy taut muscles.

I think about blue skies and cowboys and mountains. And fresh air and clean air and not so much air from people.

I think about books and movies and music and Spotify. I think of my long-forgotten wanna-write novel.

I want to spend a whole lot of dime and be broke to my last penny and try to work and earn again.

I want to be so alone that no one should be bothering me while being alone.

I want to smile and be at peace with the world. I want to forgive everyone including myself.

Well, things aren't as simple as I wish them to be. Sadly that is the reality or my reality. So instead of doing what I have to do, I am instead doing what I'm told to do.

Don't dare spend a dime for useless things. I know I know that I have to be thrifty. Scarily thrifty. Yes that's what I was told. And I'm going to try my bestest not to spend on useless things.

Only on internet, electricity, food, those basic commodities. But you know, basic things aren't as basic as they should be. So yeah, I am spending a whole lot.

Have you been slapped in the face by reality? Have you been confronted by truth? Have you been left alone and all you saw were your flaws and shortcomings?

But hold on little girl, I mean big girl, you have a good life ahead. Go on and live it like there is no tomorrow.

Meow meow, I'm here all alone. Left at home. For some reasons. I will be reunited with my family but not until I have accomplished my requirements.

Until then, I have to be focused on the things I should do. Get a grip on yourself, I tell myself.

So let me now go to the right places without stalling further. May focus be upon me.

Life needs to have balance. Most importantly, we have to have a life while still alive.

When left alone, I want to give some time for Him who has created all good things. To Him be all the glory even this moment I am enjoying while alone.