In the past months - probably like many of you reading this right now - I've been covid. It was not an easy process that took more than a month to recover. I never thought I could say this sentence, but this virus, in which many people lost their lives and turned the world order upside down, did not kill me and my loved ones, thankfully, but it healed and strengthened me in a strange way. Don't worry, I'll explain it all. Let's start with the "forced to stop" part that happened to us during the quarantine process.
As you all know, you are isolated in a room as soon as you receive positive news. Stopping first has a negative effect. It's a very lonely disease. Even your loved ones leave a tray at your door and run away. When you "stand" alone in the room, you also allow negative thoughts to come and surround you. “Alas, I had to cancel that meeting, I will cancel that training too, oh my god. I'm embarrassed now people. Payments will also be delayed.” The mind produces thoughts that will disturb the peace of mind.
Then comes the second stage and you feel the need to blame someone. “From whom could I have caught this virus?” You think about your contacts one by one, you think about where you are going. This is the first question of people on the phone anyway. “Who did you get it from? How did you get it?" No, what if you find it? What are you going to do to him? Does he even know that he has a virus himself? Even if it does, does it knowingly and willingly want to infect it? At the end of the day, my wife, my daughter, our assistant and even our gym instructor were sick. Did I infect them, or did they me? Let's see if you can get out of the business.
Then a calm began to come. Maybe we can call it surrender. Resignation. Don't accept what is. Anyway, now. Planned trainings and talks were canceled, all plans were shelved. There was no problem at all. The world was not destroyed, the operation of companies did not stop. And of course, there is this: People like me who work relentlessly, scratch to produce, and sometimes do not have the opportunity to think about what they are doing and why they are not able to stop themselves. I need a reason. Illness, for example, is a wonderful cause in a figurative sense.
I felt good when the quarantine was over. I even put an "out of office" message in my e-mails when I tested positive, and I put the day of return exactly one day after the end of the quarantine, assuming that I would recover at the end of the quarantine period. Besides, I didn't cancel my training, which was on the same day. But because life happens to you while you are making plans, I found myself in the hospital with an intense cough that started the next day. The covid released into the lungs seemed to bother me a little more.
As the weeks went by and I was feeling a little better, I found myself thinking about work again. I even tried to work in front of the computer a few times, but it didn't work. I couldn't write, draw or work as I wanted. I could never understand why this was so. A dear friend of mine told me, “You can't get better because you don't stop.” said. He was right. In the end, I consciously decided to stop. I've been away from my computer. As the doctor recommended, I went out to the garden and started to get sun. I started doing some meditation. I started reading non-work books.
And something interesting happened. Over time, I began to understand why some of the things that didn't go well before I got sick were not going well. And even then, I started not to be sad about many things that I was sad because it didn't happen then. In fact, "Good thing it didn't happen!" I started to say. When some things don't go the way you want, you shouldn't push too hard. This doesn't mean that "If it doesn't happen, let's say there is a reason and don't try". In fact, giving up without trying hard enough doesn't seem right to me under any circumstances. But sometimes we get so caught up in getting what we want in the hustle and bustle of life that we forget to ask ourselves why we want it. “What am I doing right now? What goal, what passion, what do I want to achieve, will this serve?” We keep running like rats in a circle without asking these questions. We're not getting anywhere.
I think when you stop, you start to see things more clearly. When we shake the snow globes, we can't see the object inside? However, we have to put it on the ground and that snow must fall to the ground so that the water becomes clear and we can see inside. Covid had such an effect on me during and after. After I got better, I decided to give myself some time off. I emptied my calendar. I took long walks. I tried not to write future scenarios. I still continue.
I'm trying to make my options clear. To move forward in this life, to get out of some of the situations we are in, to see that I have different options. So that I don't get stuck where I'm stuck. Unless we change the things we follow on social media, the books we read, the people we talk to, and the subjects we worry about, it is very difficult for us to see that we have different options. I don't have enough knowledge to pontificate on these matters, but now I have experience and for now this stopping thing is not going well at all. I feel that these experiences will allow me to sail to other seas already. I'll write you what happened. Bye now.