Three true stories around my life. A friend is passionate about the culinary business. He designed a cafe that he hoped would become popular. All plans are prepared. A capital loan has been obtained. Unexpectedly, the pandemic arrived. All canceled. Debt does get relief. However, it is still a burden to be paid. Café canceled. Zero income, even minus.
The second story is about a career. After working for so long, he hoped to get the promised promotion. However, like everywhere in my country, office politics play a role. Promotions disappear in plain sight, because of the elements of corruption, collusion, and nepotism within the organization.
The third story about a relationship that ran aground in the middle of the road. Marriage is a hope to continue together. Challenges and happiness lived together. But, like everything, it often doesn't go according to plan. Infidelity peeks in the middle of the road. Suspicion is a part of everyday life. A beautiful marriage turns into a living hell. Parting was finally the only way.
Plans don't always go as expected. Some delay and even destroy it. Life doesn't go as planned. Obstacles are a part of life. Time and time again, we have to learn this. Time and time again, we fail. Disappointed, angry, and suffering are fruits that must be felt.
Two Views
The adage says, make a plan, but be prepared to change it. Making plans is not like carving in stone. It's more like carving letters on water. Many elements influence it, and we must be ready to change when circumstances require it. Success in life often comes from the ability to make a backup plan. The master plan is often hit by uncertain circumstances. The contingency plan is also moving forward to become the main plan. Thus, preparing a backup plan is an important path to success.
Sadhana for Disappointment
Sadhana is a spiritual practice. It provides a way to experience God directly within. It is the basis of inner silence and peace. When it comes to disappointment, especially when things don't go according to plan, there are six important things to consider.
First, when plans are hit by uncertainty, we need to stop in the here and now. Stop all activity. Stop all analysis. When things don't go according to plan, we need a break.
Second, canceled plans often create disappointment, even anger. Distracted mind. Emotions are unstable. Here, we need to hold on to life. We need to pay attention to the characteristics of life within, such as breath, heartbeat, sounds around us, objects in front of our eyes, or taste on the skin and the tongue. Do this for at least five minutes. If attention is distracted, we just need to gently return. Life becomes a strong anchor when strong emotions visit. We are no longer carried away by changing circumstances within ourselves. All changes are quite noticed and observed. This is the end of suffering.
Third, this is also related to the previous description, namely being fully aware of the suffering that comes. Everything changes, including suffering and happiness. What is sought is not temporary happiness, but freedom from pain and happiness. Take at least five minutes to realize the feeling inside you that this too will pass.
Fourth, the three Sadhanas above help us to achieve clarity. After that, we can start looking for a way out. Clarity is the most important ingredient in problem-solving. After the mind is calm and clear, we can start the analysis to uncover the root of the problem, and look for possible solutions.
Fifth, not all things have a way out. Not all problems have to be solved now. Many circumstances do present a dead end. If that happens, fine. We are anchored back in life, as in point three. We stop here and now. We melt into the state and enter the silence. At this point, even though we are deadlocked, we can still feel happiness.
Sixth, life is neat and, oftentimes, full of surprises. The plan fails, but surprising things happen unexpectedly. We just need to observe and be patient. Many times in my life, I have experienced this. If our plan fails, then another plan is in progress. There is another intelligence at work. We can call it cosmic intelligence, God, the universe, and so on. At this point, we just need to observe, anchor to life, and do what is necessary and can be done.
Life often doesn't go according to plan. This is also a good thing. If all things go according to our plan and will, then the world will be destroyed. Desire and plans are often just a form of the narrow, greedy, and destructive human ego. As the old saying goes, if one door closes, another will open. Patient. Silence. Observe. And went to another door that was already open.
Image by: drmichellebengtson.com
When life doesn't go according to plan, of course, there is a sense of disappointment, but if you put that aside, life becomes even more colorful. Sometimes we are surprised by the unexpected that messes up our plans, then we try to fix it and reorganize what we have put together. Life has many colors and twists and turns, not monotonous and predictable.