The reason I choose sologamy

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Avatar for daffaputra
1 year ago

Sologamy is a rebellion against the tyranny of having to be in pairs. Sologamy is marriage to oneself. It is a sufficient expression to acknowledge and embrace yourself fully. That is enough to live alone and not a problem without a partner. I suggest to all of you, out of respect for your freedom. As much as possible do not fall in love. People say that falling in love and having a family is fun. But I have seen how my family members are unhappy by love and marriage.

Remembering the 'Hedgehog Dilemma'. You cannot be in a relationship with another person without pain. Because other humans are hedgehogs whose thorns are their own 'ego'. So you cannot approach another Human intimately without you having to injure or be hurt by him. I've reminded this over and over again in my Facebook posts. That maybe my Sologamy decision is based on Misanthropic thinking.

Remembering Existentialists like the philosopher Jean Paul Sarte is pessimistic about love. Not like Scheller or Marcel Gabriel who idealize the condition of falling in love. This Sarte sees love only as an objectification of the body. Because true love is only physical. After all, falling in love with Sarte is a sign of failure to maintain self-subjectivity. Or use the term Gramscii already hegemony. There is no me, there is only him. In the next transformation, love will develop into possessing. The hope that a lover has for his lover. The lovers expect lovers to be like A and not like B and when they expect each other in the end, love becomes a "jail"

Maybe this is the reason that makes me a philophobic. I have experienced being 'imprisoned' in love. I've experienced how it feels to be hurt. But I'm not a donkey. Only the donkey fell in the same hole. In the end, I decided to do sologamy.

Remembering, according to Fromm. Humans do not run to freedom but run from freedom. What is freedom? That is to be alone. Only in solitude does one feel free. Schopenhauer said he who does not love solitude does not love freedom!

All human problems are interpersonal problems according to Adler. So this sologamy decision is very unanimous. Even in front of the mirror, every day I swear that:

  1. I will no longer leave myself alone

  2. Every day I will stand in front of the mirror and be grateful for everything that is in me.

  3. I will give myself the best life I want.

I am the one who is close to me, who follows me in joy and sorrow. No betrayal never hurt. Even when I fell, I greeted and supported myself. And when I'm happy, only I am the happiest about me.

"He who does not enjoy solitude does not love freedom"
- Schopenhauer

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Avatar for daffaputra
1 year ago


When society increasingly urges single people to get married quickly and have children, sologamy, or marrying yourself, can be a way out. But is sologamy really the solution? Or is it just a protest?

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1 year ago

sologamy is solution

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1 year ago