I'm always the antagonist

Hello, dear read. Cash friends I hope God has poured you hs blessings and grace.

But have you experienced thaT you were always the antagonist of your married Life?

This is what I have been feeling everytime I counter my husband's decisions for the family.

The Bible says that the wife should obey the husband and let him lead the family but I somethimes don't follow and its making me guilty. I hope God could forgive me.

FIRST OF, right now, I was the one who has a stable income for the family. My husbnad on the other hand had provided us in the previous years especially those times that he was the one working and I am only a house wife tending to our child.

Back then, I am afraid of holding his money because I know so little of budgeting. But to what I have discovered recently, he was was hiding some of his money from me. But as for what he said, it was for good, and he ddi not spend it on a third party or anything. He said he was ashamed of telling me he wants to help his family so he did it discreetly.

When we had our second and third child, he was the one tending to them, while I could not let go of my work because my salary is much better than his. All the while, he understands me and accepted my reasonings. I have a few regrets of missing things form my chidren but I took it back since I see it better than we did the otherwise.

Just recently, he told me I should go with him and take the multicab that he and his cousin will be repairing, but then when Saturday evening came, he told me ha planned on buying teh vehicle and we will repair it.

I did not agree that instant but thought of ways on making him change his mind, I reminded him that he told me that his plans for buying vehicle was changed to prioritize cattle rearing for cattles can give money while vehicles only take, though he planned on giving service to passengers but I told him he was lazy at driving and when he les someone drive it they might not take care of it as exactly he does.

He told me he will let his brother dive it but hsi brother cannot survive, infact he resigns of his work after a few months of experience.

So he changed his mind but I felt it that it was against his will, but the very reason that i cannot agree is that we don't have enough funds. We have lots of liabilities and he is kind of lazy and weak, he cannot survive the hot sun and gets weak that he had to take a nap at noon time.

ONE DAY, I'll have the courage to tell him about it, he had lost of dreams but works little, I might be always the antagonist in his plans but I was looking through our financial capabilities. Its so hard to almost have nothing left from the salary just to pay for the liabilities and debts`that we have. Sometimes, I cannot even feel that its pay day anymore. And now that my child's birthday is coming, I am having a hard time finding money to make her day special.

I know that my husband is wanting things for the family's good but there are times that he can overlook and miss just like thsi one. I know that such things does not only happen to me and some couples are making this kind of thinsg into a fight. But we made ways and disregard our pride to tals this over with becaus efight won't bring any good afterall.

have you experinced this also? Please share your experience in the comment section