I am a girl as you see in my profile. A woman who always try to laugh even life is full of sucks. I am 27years old now and have two kids and ofcourse I am already married at the age of 18years old while I'm on my 2rd year college. My life from the start I think is okey but at the middle I don't know where my life is or "what is my life going through".
I was living with my grandmother and grandfather since my mother gave birth to me. She spent almost a year or 8months and they don't have a choice but to go far away to make money and support my needs as their first born child though it's just 3hours a way from home. My grandfather was a hands on father to me as he makes a story of my childhood months before I get married. He always carry me at midnight when I was months old since I am a crying little baby before and I don't stop crying until 3-4am in the dawn. When times passed by I am already in my kindergarten when my mother gave birth to the second baby and it's a girl. Yeah I am "ATE" and I need to be an ate ,my mother stops to work and stay in the house for 1year and yes she left my little sister too in my grandmother and ofcourse I need to help my "nanay/grandma" to take care of my little sister ,it's not literally that I need to taking care of her fully since I am just only in kindergarten. And yes I still remember. Sometimes I need to look after here when I'm home and as an ordinary children who plays a lot after school ,me? Well maybe 3 or 4 times a week is better than nothing. Until time passed by and I am grade 5 and my sister started to go to school I am the one who always looked for her in recess and lunch break. And started thinking what if my mother is here ? What if like some of the other students their mother are always their during events or lunch break. Yeah I wasn't able to feel that one when I am in grade 1 ,2,3,4,5 and I feel so pity for my little sister that even she also experienced this one although yes my grandmother sometimes are always there but mostly my auntie is the representative oh divah ! But Still I don't have a choice but to pursue my studies and continue living like nothing extra baggage in my heart and in my life.
Yes I am in my middle school and another news my mother is pregnant and it's a boy ,I am very happy but sad because I need to take care a baby again and this time I can managed and my grandma become weak because of the illness she's suffering and I need to be more patient enough to spendmt most of my time to my sister and little brother .My childhood is not easy and it is so extraordinary . Extra work ,extra understanding ,extra love and extra effort and patience. I really wanted to burst out to my mom and father too because they left me extra bagges without even thinking if I myself also have a hard time and extra loads too . But I can't complain and I won't because in my side profile I just need to be more understanding. But even though I suffered a lot of effort I am still a failure. Failed for everything , failures are in my system and always being compared to others . From then I became so hard , become a bad girl and inshort I suffered a lot of depression and no one knows I am in that stage already. I started hating my life ,my mother father and my family.
To make my story short I am lost .!!!