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2 Years of being a member of God's words group chat

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Written by   45
11 months ago
Topics: God, Experience

Curiosity Kills! I pray every night before I sleep, but I barely go to church. I, myself really want to go to church every sunday but I don't have money to pay for the transpo so I don't have a choice but to stay in our house. Actually until now, I barely go to church because I used to it.

2 years ago, I become curious of Who really is God? What's with Him? I mean, what I only know is that we should pray so Papa Jesus will answer our prayer but the history? I know nothing. I bet, you'll laugh if I told you that It's making me crazy thinking of who is Papa Jesus, and who is his son. I mean I thought Papa Jesus is the father since we called it Papa and he has a son with Mama Mary. Oh, no! I'm sorry for this but yeah, those are my thoughts back then haha. I can't find a right answer to it and it's giving me a headache. But since curiosity kills, I didn't stop looking for the answer.

I've read that it is really not Papa Jesus since Jesus is the son. But that answer made me more curious. Curious of who is His parents. Then I got an answer, His mother is Mama Mary which is a Virgin Mary, I swear, at first I didn't believe that it just happened that Mary became pregnant without having a... You know hahaha. I was in 11th Grade when I knew the story haha, kinda embarrassing right? Sorry hahah.

Captured by me (sorry for the bad quality)

This picture made me confused that time, I thought that they are God, Mary and Jesus. I didn't know that it was Joseph. In fact, I didn't know who is Joseph in the first place. It means, from the very beginning, I know nothing.

But internet helped me. I looked for group chats on Facebook and good thing I found one. Every night there is an activity, for example, Bible Study or Devotion, there's also Bible Quiz. I enjoyed every activity back then, been active and promised not to be inactive. I've learned to worship God, I got more informations and been happy for a long time.

I also want to experience the feeling of attending in Born Again's service so one time, me and my friends talked about God, while doing our activity in class, we played a worship song and started to sing. After that we talked about the person we know who is active in church and I asked them If they want to attend the sunday service. Their answer bring smile into my face. So we've decided to attend the service and it really feels good. I mean, they really discuss the Verses deeply. I did not know actually that there's a deeper meaning in each bible verse, well thanks to them haha. And also the sky flakes and juice made them different, in catholic we have ostia but in born again they have sky flakes and juice. Plus the way they worship God, everything about them made me want to be born again haha. I know it's not about religion but for me, when you are born again, you'll understand the bible deeply. I'm sorry, I'm not saying that I hate Catholic, it's just I wanted to be born again to have a deeper understanding.

I remember one time, while we are washing the clothes, I told my sister that I want to change my religion into born again. She got mad haha, she told me, I'm being crazy. Hahaha

Back to group chat, I'm always excited to join and always feel full. In 2 years of being a member I also encountered members being attacked by Satan wanting to leave and be inactive. That time I asked others “Why are they backsliding despite the fact of they already know how good is our God and knowing the consequences of living in worldly things?" But they answered, It really happens.

I continue on being active, I still join on activities. I Started to read the bible and worship Him more. And because of being active, admins saw potential in me so they added me on the group chat of trainees. I feel nervous because of the responsibilities and also, I have low confidence. They teach me how to lead and I started to spread the words of God.

I remember the first time I lead, I've been really nervous because it's my first time and the members that time are inactive and I think there are only 2 members who'll reply Amen but I still did it.

At first I thought it's easy to lead since it is online but it's actually not. I need to prepare the topic which is really difficult for me because of not being really familiar on the stories in each book. And that becomes a reason of losing interest. I started to be inactive and ignore the messages.

I've been like a fire. Sometimes it's blazing but sometimes a blown fire by the wind. I'm too irresponsible and afraid of commiting mistakes. Yes, since I am not familiar with each stories I'm afraid that I might teach them wrong.

Photo from Unsplash

That gave me a realization of “Backsliding really happens, the fire isn't always burning.”

Before, I thought that I'll be forever active and will always be full with the words of God. That I will not be like others, but what am I now is proving that I had a wrong thought. The fire isn't burning anymore.

In two years, one and a half year was really unforgettable, the devotions, the things I learned, the members, the happiness and of course the commitment with God. But like what I've it's always like that. I didn't noticed that I've been inactive for 6 months, days passed so passed and I've become attached to worldly things again which is not really a good thing.

As of now, I'm just trying to be committed again personally and decided to leave the group chat of the Handlers for the meantime. I'll just fix myself first and read bible more so when the time is right and I join the group chat again, the fire will burn again and will keep on burning. Hoping that Satan could not easily attack me.

If you have a strong relationship with God then I salute you. Please continue that strong relationship, and If you doesn't have a strong relationship, then let's start this day building a strong relationship with Him. It is the most important. World is just permanent, so we should have time to God so at the end of everything we are happy with God.

Let's build a fire and keep it burning🔥

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Written by   45
11 months ago
Topics: God, Experience
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Comments

I also sometimes have time that I am losing my focus and relationship to him. That is why when I feel that I am a little away from him, I will pray from the heart and read some verses. I so love God so much. I can say, I can't live without him. That is why, praying is my sword in every trials and when I feel lost. I pray to Him to stay and guide me as always.

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11 months ago

Yes, prayer is really powerful. My bad, I let Satan attack me, I should have pray and get close to God instead of being attached in worldly things. But I've learned now hahaha.

Anyway, Thank you so much for being my sponsor. I will not forget this, you're my first sponsor huhu thank youuu so much😭💝💝🔥 God Bless you moreeee

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11 months ago