Holy Crypto! Coinbase Nearly Gave Me a Heart Attack

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Avatar for cryptocracy
1 year ago

Imagine logging into your exchange account and seeing your account balance at more than $1 billion and thinking you hit a freaking oil well. That happened to me this afternoon shortly after 4 p.m.

I was just logging in to Coinbase to copy my BTC wallet address and plug it into my new Unstoppable Domain.

Flabbergasted to see that Bitcoin SV made up 95% of my portfolio and was worth billions of dollars, I quickly jumped over to CoinMarketCap to see what they were reporting. Ethereum was No. 1 and Bitcoin was No. 5!

No way! Bitcoin at No. 5? That’s one helluva flippening!

Then I decided to see what Bitcoin SV was trading at and here’s what I saw:

Holy geez! Are you kidding me?

I searched for the latest news on Bitcoin SV and crypto, but nothing. I knew it had to be a glitch. It had to be, right?

No news.

I took a deep breath and drove my wife to Dollar General so she could buy her favorite cheap tea—Brisk—because everyone needs a bottle of sweet tea on days like these.

When I returned home, I checked Coinbase, CoinMarketCap, and the news again. No change on the first two. But here’s what I found on the news angle after a search for CoinMarketCap. It was a glitch!

And then I went to Twitter and searched for #CoinMarketCap. Here’s what I saw.

And I remembered, that’s how I felt for a second, until I came to my senses.

Goes to show, you just can’t trust everything you see on the Internet.

In Other News

You’ll also want to read these 13 crypto predictions for 2022. I really like this one:

3. A Fortune 500 crypto company that has gone remote-first will declare their official headquarters to be on one of the competing metaverses. — Brandon Arvanaghi, CEO of crypto startup Meow.

Oh, and look what the Bored Ape Yacht Club is up to.

With that, I leave you with this invitation: Subscribe to Cryptocracy for the best news and funniest laughs.

Lead image credit: Bitcoin.com

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$ 0.05 from @nomadghada
Avatar for cryptocracy
1 year ago


Yeah same on me i wakeup billionaire 🤣 i was so shock i even take sa screen shoots 4x my wallet i tried to sell my token at pancakeswap but the real price was thier 😭😭😭 it was all false hope 🥺

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User's avatar dao
1 year ago

I hope you didn't sell for a loss. I was tempted to try to sell, but then my rational mind took over and I resisted the urge.

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1 year ago

Haha, it seems a lit people got the shock of their lives. Lucky for me I only learn about it afterwards from the news and didn't rage quit my job 🤣🤣

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1 year ago

Yeah, that would have sucked. Quit your job, find out you're not a billionaire, then find out someone else got your job and you're stuck eating out of garbage cans. Yuck!

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Glad, I've avoided that timeline

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1 year ago