I got married...again
Coming into Read.cash and Noise.cash platforms, I didn't have the intention to share the most private details of my life. One, because the people involved didn't ask to be involved in my online activity. Two, I believe I have more interesting things to talk about and offer than put my private life on the pedestal. However, to be transparent to my readers and online friends, and staying true to myself (while hiding behind the keyboard LOL), I realize it was inevitable to talk about at least this portion of my life.
My civil status.
TLDR: I am married, for almost the better quarter of my life.
Also, since today that I post this article is my birthday, I'm in a sharing mood. So sit back while I take you to the most magical day of my life.
Edit: I got married first in 2017, then in 2019.
So I got married to the same person twice. To this day, we have been together for 11 years, married for 4. It was a 5-year-long Japan-Philippine long-distance relationship before we got to be closer to each other.
Here is the gist of our story
It was the most magical day of our lives but the days, months leading to that special day were very physically, emotionally, and financially exhausting. Stressful cannot even describe that experience. Adding to the regular wedding preparation experience is that I was preparing for our wedding in the Philippines whilst being in Japan.
Marriage in a sheet of paper.
It took us around 2 years from document preparation to walking down the aisle. My husbando and I had our civil wedding first in the latter part of December 2017. He didn't propose but we have been planning and preparing to be wed civilly within that year. As a Filipina marrying a Japanese national, it was such a hassle to even get that single document that would prove am single and eligible to marry. We had to go to the Philippine Embassy (which I dread the most) a lot of times.
And so the day we officially become husbando and waifu has arrived. It was a Saturday but the city hall would still accept marriage registrations. It was very uneventful as we went in later in the morning, handed over the registration form and documents we got from the embassy, had the city hall staff check them, and viola! We are officially married. It didn't even take 15 minutes. After that, we had an early lunch and went home as husbando and waifu.
Our second wedding, for short, was a church wedding. As a couple, we were satisfied with our civil wedding but we still decided to have a church wedding as a gift to our parents. In the beginning, I was quite excited, even though I still couldn't imagine ourselves walking down the aisle. We wanted the ceremony to be standard, the most simple wedding ceremony and let loose in the reception; we wanted it hardcore otaku-themed!
To be honest, we only had a general image of our wedding.
A simple, standard wedding ceremony but a hardcore otaku-themed reception.
The invitation card should be at least 90% designed by me.
A red wedding dress for me and a white suit for him.
No balloons and plastic confetti.
All of the invitees should only be people we have interacted with and know personally, a.k.a just because you're a relative doesn't mean you will be invited.
The rest of the details were decided as we move along with the preparation. So, if you're planning on getting married, Tip 1, have a well-thought-out plan, from what would the gifts for your entourage and giveaways for the guests be to the color of the ribbon of your flower girl's dress.
So how I prepared for our wedding while being miles away from the venue?
The short answer is we hired a wedding coordinator. We originally planned for my mother to deputize for us. I was extremely hesitant to hire one since, at the time, wedding coordination scams were everywhere. However, there were limitations that one middle-aged woman can do so we ultimately looked for one. It was quite difficult to find a trusted wedding coordinator but we are forever thankful to have found the perfect one for us. (Due to the possibility of revealing private information, I cannot give away names and details)
Troubles? Difficulties? Struggles?
Inevitably, those will arise regardless of how careful you are with your preparation. In our case, we have quite a few.
Dresses. To this day, I am still spiteful of this memory. My husbando has a childhood friend who's a "fashion designer". As a way to help her business, my husband decided to hire her to be the dressmaker for our whole entourage. The designs were great but the actual dresses were like Cinderalla's dress before the fairy godmother arrived, to be polite, and the materials used seemed recycled. It was too cheap-looking for the price we paid but I only got to see the dresses she made 2 weeks before the wedding.
Disappointed could never describe the feeling I felt when I saw the dresses in person. Despite the time crunch, we had another set of dresses made by a trusted supplier of our coordinator. This time, they understood what I wanted and whipped out a dress 3 days later. It was a red and white wedding dress with a trail skirt that can be detached. They are one of the saviors of our weddings and we are eternally grateful.
Rings. This was not much of a trouble compared to the dress but still was a hassle. We wanted a fairly thin-banded wedding ring. As we were always working, we didn't have the time to look for it in Japan so we decided that we will buy the rings in the Philippines. We looked at the majority of the jewelry shops in the city but to our disappointment, we couldn't find the one we liked.
It was less than a week before our wedding and when we did find the one closest to our preference, we asked a lot of times if they can prepare it at least the day before our wedding. They confidently said the rings will arrive 2 days before the wedding so we were relieved and paid full upfront despite the usual payment scheme of 50% when ordering and another 50% when the product arrives.
No, the rings didn't arrive 2 days before the wedding. Something snapped in me at that time and demanded that the lady who sold me the rings deliver them to the hotel we were staying in. She did so and brought us the ring the night before the wedding and their reason was the delay in shipment. Once I got the rings, I just let it all go ad didn't scream at the lady.
The relatives. This event would not be complete without the complaining relatives. To give you a background, my husbando's family is from a different city and as he was shouldering the plane tickets, the only relatives he can bring to my city are his immediate family. I, on the other hand, was not extremely close to my relatives so I only invited a handful of people who I knew very well growing up and the majority of my guests were friends. So, no, I did not invite people just because they are my mother's or father's siblings or cousins or nieces/nephews. AITA?
My mother told me after all was over that some of her siblings were mad that they couldn't go to the wedding. Well, at least, we now know who really are the weeds in the garden.
The Wedding day
I... don't remember well what happened at the ceremony. It felt so slow yet so fast. I was like riding a cloud then, I realized it was time to walk down the aisle. There was so much emotion in the church as I was crying, he was crying, everybody was crying. My mind was so blank that I even put the ring on the wrong finger.
Then the reception followed. The decor was fantastic, the food was great and the program was short but fun. We were so happy and grateful that we were surrounded only by the people that celebrated with us. When all of it was over, I didn't realize how late it was.
The reception supposedly ended at 8 PM. After I changed and refreshed, I thought we'd go outside and grab a cup of coffee until I realized it was almost midnight. All the shops and stores are closed for the day but one Dunkin' Donut was open to give us a warm hug of a coffee and a sweet smile of delicious donuts after a long, hectic, exhausting yet wonderful day.
Was it worth it?
Of course, it was. The money we paid for the first dressmaker was a huge price for a wedding that turned out to be extremely satisfying. I may have sounded negative but I cannot express how thankful I am to the people that make our wedding day one of the most memorable days of our lives.
Always remember that marriage is just the beginning of a lifetime partnership. You know what they say, getting married is easy but staying married is the true challenge.
Wedding photos are by Casa Photografia, unless stated otherwise
I'm crimsonowl, an artist in progress trying to make a living out of art, an NFT artist-creator, a crypto blogger talking about anime. art and everything in between - just a Random girl in the blockchain.
Congratulations (belated) for the feat to "officially become husbando and waifu" in Nihon! Who is Nihon Jin? You or your "husband?"