Be patient, don't despair.
Is there a magic formula for not despairing? The truth is that it is not easy to control the temperament and control the anxiety and thoughts that this produces. All this has to do with the character of each one of us, because we all have goals, dreams and we want everything to happen fast, at the speed of light.
Learning to differentiate between what is circumstantial and what is essential. I don't have that formula, I don't think anyone really does, but what I do have are practices that help me to deal better with these situations.
First is to understand that despair is "Useless". Not because I despair it will dawn faster No! Then it is useless wear and tear. You can despair all you want but that is not going to solve any problem nor is it going to modify someone's behavior, that is why I repeat that it is useless. But not only is it useless, it is also exhausting and I can run the risk of affecting my health. There is a small margin of situations where you can solve a situation quickly, but in the great majority you only despair in a useless way.
Desperation leads you to hurt the ones you love the most.
Many times in my desperation I fall into the error of mistreating the people around me and many times those people are the ones I love the most. Without realizing it we offend and hurt, even I have done it, of course I have. Sometimes my mother tried to calm me down in a situation and instead of listening to her and understanding that she is not to blame, I yelled at her and said ugly things that have no reason to be. It has been proven that when you are desperate you fail more, you make more mistakes.
Desperation is the enemy of efficiency
If you are a person who likes efficiency, you cannot fall into despair, because otherwise you fall into contradiction with what you like to be.
Life has its rhythm
Many times even the most difficult or painful situation makes us mature and grow, so we could say that despair sometimes has to happen. In other words, there are times when you get desperate and frustrated to see that what you wanted did not happen, but when you analyze the situation more calmly you realize that what happened was better than what you had planned.
Do not think that this is conformism or resignation, that is not so, but it is about understanding that what happens in life always makes sense.
"What happens is always for the best."
I don't know if you have heard that wise saying or grandparents' advice that said "What happens is always the best" I don't know if you agree with me but what I do know is that to me this has helped me a lot in life and has been useful to calm me down and not to despair.
"Understand that there are things I can't control".
Has it ever happened to you that you feel stupid, suffering and despairing for what I can't control, rather I should give myself more for what I can control or achieve. For example, I can't control my husband's temper, I can't control when he says some things that hurt me, but what I can do is ask him to treat me well and that we express what we feel in a good way, at the right time and place. Another example would be when I ask my children to study, to fulfill their responsibilities and I establish conditions and methods so that this can happen in the best possible way, but if they do not want to I cannot force them, it is their decision and therefore they will have to assume the consequences of their actions.
We cannot suffer for what others decide to do, there are things you cannot control and you must understand that so you do not despair. Do what you can do, that is all. You are not omnipotent, because the only omnipotent one is God. If you truly understand this, your life will be easier, calmer, more beautiful, more pleasant.
My intention is not to give you these tools with the purpose of being more than anyone else, it is just to raise a reflection that has served me a lot in my life. Today less than ever we can despair, the world is paralyzed with all this covid-19 virus, if we start to despair we are only complicating things more and that is a luxury that we can not give us.
I hope these tools will help you and help you to lead your life better, especially in these days where it is very easy to be impatient, so it is necessary that we open ourselves to the possibility of finding ways to be calm.