October 21, 2021
Hello read cash lovely community people! How are you, everyone? I hope you all have an awesome life. For those who know me here in readcash, I'm sorry for not being active for a few days. I'll catch up with you all, I promise that. Anyhow, I am back to writing! I will continue writing here because it really helps me a lot (not just financially but more on mentally). Actually, I've been out in noisecash as well for a few days and I'll make sure to be back on track to these two platforms.
The reason why I've been out for a couple of days is because I'm all LOST. Like mentally and physically LOST. I almost ended up doing the negative one (if you know what I mean). I really don't know why it suddenly happened to me.I believed my mental health all started when this pandemic hit us. I started to overthink, always thinking negatively and it almost ended me. I lost trust in my loved ones, my partner, and all the people surrounding me. I always think that they will just use me and once they are no longer me, they will leave me hanging. I have trust issues with everyone and I'm really trying to overcome this.
There's an instance where I walked out to our home. I just walked without thinking anything and ended up walking for I think 3 kilometers. I didn't have my phone with me and didn't have any money at all. I am so lost I don't know what to do. It feels like I'm fighting something that I don't know how to win. Luckily, a friend of mine saw me and stopped by and we had a little talk and also she returned me home safely.
I can really say, I am not okay MENTALLY. Panic attacks, anxiety and depression hit me so hard. Remember I told you I have a new job? I quit on it. I can't focus on anything and I am so glad that even though we are not always on good terms with my brother, he's always there for me. Also, we really had a serious talk with my partner. All my insecurities, I told her everything and I'm so happy that now she understands me and I understand her better now. We are now trying to fix everything and I really pray that it will work, we will work again.
To all the people suffering mental problems, let's fight this! It is much better if you have someone to talk to because it is so hard if you are just going to keep it by yourself and one thing I realize is "It's really okay not to be okay". No need for us to deny it, If we are experiencing this, let's find a way to fix this. Think of something that can help you fix it. Our plan with my partner is that I'll be attending a therapist moving forward. I know some of us think if you are going to a therapist, you are a crazy person but it is a big NO. Let us all normalize that. Most especially us women, we are more emotional compared to men. It is a big help to talk to a licensed therapist or even to a person who is sure that will listen to you.
Now, I will try my best to be more active and engaging with you all. I will continue writing what's in my heart's desire. I hope you all continue spreading positive vibes here. Thank you all for reading this! Until next time.
To my dear sponsors:
Thank you for the support. I appreciate you all. Continue to be a blessing to all of us and more blessings to you all as well. Check their pages everyone! Cheers!
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Hope you well po. Stay strong po💪