Sanity is About Out of Cliff

Months passed by. I unable to recall the last time I feel a thing that people call genuine happiness. I never wrote an article like this before. But since I have to express it somewhere for the sake of my sanity, I choose to write it down here. Rather than speak about it in person to anyone, I don't think anyone would think it's important for them. Well, people loves to just having us when we are in our best happiest condition, not when we are in our worst state. I thought all were just fine All seems just fine. Until it is not. Probably it is something that my brain that made it up. I have this feeling that telling that I am not important. I somehow know it is not right at all, but my brain is insist to make me believes in that. Not only that, I find it's hard for me to feel happy by myself. I have this that people call as Emotionally Dependent. I unsure how many of you outside there have the same issue like me, but believe me it is real and it is depressing. It is not like I don't want to find happiness by myself however I just unable to do so. People who doesn't has this issue, who are blessed with the ability to be 'just happy' by themselves, thought that my statements are absurd. But you better be grateful for that. Unlike me, I tried hard. I read books, I do hiking, I take language courses, I watch movies when I feel to, but what I felt is plain. I felt nothing. I don't feel joy doing things. My intention here, I need an advise from anyone out there who experienced or maybe still experiencing the same. How did you deal with it, is there any effective ways that I can practice? I am honestly kind of tired living like this. Life seems pretty rough on me sometimes. All I need is just to be happy like other humans. Or is it me who expecting too much from 'life'?

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@bungaheidelberg posted 4 months ago


It's funny how I can't delete this posting

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1 month ago