The Story Of How I Become Cold With My Own Brother

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1 year ago
Topics: Personal, Story

Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my brother, but I just don't like how bossy he is and acts as if I owe him a lot.

This article was inspired by our recent argument this morning. I've just had enough and thought of just writing it down here so I could at least relax my mind. I know this may sound unfair to him because he's not even here to defend himself but everything you guys are about to read is based on true events. No lies but just pure real sh1t.

My brother and I were once closed when we were kids. We used to pretend like I was the big sissy and he was the youngest. He liked to be taken care of while I liked to be the one who watched over him as the younger brother. That was probably one of our favorite bondings back then; however, as we grew older, we started to see the differences that led us to go on our separate ways.

Just like the typical brother-sister relationship, who fights like cats and dogs, my brother and I are also like that. During our younger days, there was no day that we don't fight over simple childish things. Sometimes my mom would be so mad she would cry in front of us, and that was the only time we would stop. Now, although we don't fight like that very often, we still argue once in a while and sometimes, one of us would cry.

I don't hate my brother, but there were just so many incidents wherein he crossed his boundaries. If I would state everything in here, I might need to write another page for that. It's just so many that I already lost counts. Well, in this article, I will just state those incidents that really broke my heart, made me cold with him, and wished I could just swap him to something else.

College days: He punched me

I couldn't recall exactly what it was that we argued for, but all I know was he punched my arm that the next day, it was totally purple. I think he didn't hit me so hard but you know, women have sensitive skin so what's mild for you could be intense for us. I didn't tell my dad about it right away coz I know he would be furious but after a year, I told him about the incident, and he confronted my brother.

That was the first time that he did that to me. I was scared of him at that time and realized that he could actually do more than that if ever I won't shut my mouth. So after that incident, I learned to shut up whenever the argument would heat up.

He kicked me out in my boarding room

When I first lived on my own in Cebu, that was the moment I felt freedom. Then when I heard that my brother was living in a not-so-nice room and barely ate proper food, I felt sorry for him, so I offered him to stay with me instead. At first, it was doing smoothly, no arguments, just enjoying the company of my brother.

I was the one who did most of his laundry. I usually did my laundry in the middle of the night while the rest of the boarders were asleep so I could concentrate and no interruptions were needed. Sometimes, I would ignore his laundry to teach him a lesson to manage his time right but nah, even if he had only 1 clean shirt to wear, he won't even take the time to do the laundry. So as someone who doesn't like too much mess, I ended up doing everything for him.

Okay, I was a quite nagger too. You can't blame us, ladies, to nag though. I mean you can't expect us to do all the house chores while you stay up all day chilling as if you paid someone to clean up your own mess. So one time, I asked him to help me out with the laundry and told him to hang those clothes for me as I could no longer raise my arms after doing 2 baskets of his dirty clothes. He didn't listen and told me to wait. He was just watching YouTube at that time, so I got mad after several beggings, and then the arguments started to heat up.

So I told him to leave my place and go find somewhere else to stay as I could no longer continue this kind of setup. It was nighttime when it happened but instead, he threw some of my things. He told me that if I was no longer happy, then I should be the one to leave coz there was no way that he would. I was crying and started packing my things. The worst part was he told me I won't survive alone. I was so ready to leave, but then it was already too late so I came back to my room.

A few days after that incident, I moved out without telling him I would leave. I didn't even tell him where I would go, blocked him so he won't find me, but he knew where I used to work so he would still visit me there to ask for some allowance. Oh, at that time, he wasn't married yet.

He threatened me with a knife

It was my niece's Christening but didn't get to attend because we (again) argued. He was so mad that he threatened me with a knife. I just stopped arguing but continued crying until I fell asleep. This wasn't the first time though. There was another time when he tried to sell me vitamins. Me, I don't really take vitamins or medicines not unless it was something serious like a severe headache or toothache.

He was so upset I didn't want his vitamins coz those were pretty expensive too. I find it not worth it to spend so much on the vitamins when you can just eat veggies. Out of his desperation, he got mad and threatened me again. After that first knife incident, I got scared of him coz I knew he could kill me instantly if he wanted to.

He is very irresponsible and looked down on me

Although he has a decent job that pays well, he always got no money in his wallet, even before he was single. Back then, I told him how to save money so he could ensure that he won't starve himself. Just like the other irresponsible people, they would tell you they would, but they won't even do it. So even if worked as a customer representative in one of the big companies, he was still broke and would ask me for money weekly. Even if I won't say yes, he would still make me say yes in the end.

He also looked highly of himself. He was a CSR, but I was just an encoder. My pay was 5x smaller than his. So whenever I made suggestions, he would tell me I was just an encoder who only got 1 job for years and get paid at a minimum rate while he had so many experiences. He made me feel like I was worthless, but then at the end of the day, he was the one who begged for money and not me. Even with my little salary, I got to save almost 70k PHP for 2 years, and he has nothing.

Fast forward...

He quit working in the city and work home-based with 3 different clients. He has a 9-year-old son and his wife is a registered nurse. The wife and son are staying with the wife's parents while my brother stays with us most of the time.

Knowing my brother, I know he would soon move to my house coz our eldest sister doesn't like him too coz he's so unorganized. And it worries me coz he might be bossy again in my own house. I don't like him bringing all his stuff without organizing any of those. He occupies a lot of space because most of his items can be found everywhere. I also don't like how he orders online without the money but sometimes, we end up paying it for him.

Oh, he keeps complaining about how my furbabies bark a lot. Lol. I mean what do you expect from a dog? Dogs are supposed to bark whenever they see something suspicious, or they don't like what they see. So I just hope he won't live with me because I might turn into a beast again if ever.

Closing thoughts

The only thing that I admire about him is that he doesn't give up easily. He's good at getting clients but the problem is he can't sustain the demands because he is a bit greedy. He wants to have more clients to earn a lot but couldn't comply with their demands.

Nevertheless, I wish him all the best in life so he won't keep coming to mom asking for money again and again. So he can finally have their own place to live as well like a real family with his wife and son.

Entry #9: December 13, 2022


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1 year ago
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Comments

Relate, Ate. But it's not with my siblings naman, but with Mama's older and younger brother. Mas malala lang si younger kasi as in, parang ganito din sa sib mo, Ate. Aside sa napaka-alcoholic, nagwawala talaga s'ya and para bang walang planong ayusin 'yung buhay n'ya. If you remember, s'ya 'yung reason kung bakit kami umalis sa dati naming bahay and just decided na mangupahan na lang. Di pa naman s'ya nasasaktan sila Mama pero may threats na din kasi na lumalabas sa bibig n'ya and nakaka-bahala. Kaya ayun, layo na lang talaga. Pero sana maayos pa din mga relationships n'yo with your sibs, kasi magkapatid pa din eh. Ayusin na lang sana nila mga bad habits nila para happy and at peace lang. Kahit 'di na magkibuan after basta maayos lang 'yung sigalot between the two sides.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I can somehow relate, my brother and I were used to be buddies. But during his teenage years I got so tired because I am the one always doing the household chores and even laundry. It was hard because we are using a deep well. While he is jusr hanging , tambay with his tropa. So one time I nag him, we had a argument . It heat up and he punched me. As much as I want to defend myself I cant as I was so thin that time and man are really stronger. So Avenge , I throw out his Islander slipper. Islander slipper was so in trend back then. What I expect is he slapped me. My lips got bruised and even had a black eye the next day.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Oh my! Mas malala ata kuya mo. Yung kuya ko nasuntok ako pero hindi naman yung grabe. Madali lang talaga ako magka bruise. Pero yun nga lang, tinatakot niya ako gamit ang kutsilyo. Pero grabe yung kuya mo rin. Sa totoo lang, dati na trauma ako sa kanya dahil feelign ko talaga mapapatay niya ako.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Siguro it runs in our blood na nanakit ang mga lalaki, though ngayon control naman na nila. That was the first and last time naman na sinaktan niya. Ako feeling ko noon lakas2 ko.siguro nasa peak ng anger ko, kahit sinampal na ako at binalya wala ako maramdaman sakitπŸ˜‚. Laban pa din, after na lng namin mag away, sakit katawan ko. Iyon naman sa akin MJ, hindi naman ako tinutukan, kahit sino naman siguro magkakatrauma kapag ganonπŸ˜”. Sana wag lumipat sa bahay mo ang kuya mo. Para hindi peaceful life mo

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1 year ago

Ouch!! Sana magbago pa kapatid mo sis kasi may pamilya na pala siya. Dapat marunong na siya mag ipon. Yung kapatid kong lalaki, buti marunong dumiskarte at di nanghihingi kahit nag aaral pa sa college. Baka kung ano magawa ko kapag ganyan kapatid ko. Katakot din kapatid mo, nananakot gamit kutsilyo. Iba kasi pag lalaki ganyan. May tendency talaga na makapanakot or makapatay kapag ganyan.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Yun ang kinatatakot ko dati nung kami lang sa Cebu kasi uso sa balita nun na pamilya, napapatay ng sariling kapamilya. Kaya dati talaga, tumatahimik na lang ako or umiiyak. Minsan gusto ko na lang mamatay para marealize niya na sobra na siya.

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1 year ago

Mahirap talaga magkaroon ng ganyang kapatid sis. Though hindi ganyan kapatid ko pero may mga kilala ako na grabe ka dependent sa ibang kadugo nila tapos parang pinapahiwatig nila na dapat ma guilty ka kasi kargo mo siya. Ganun. Pero sa totoo lang, dapat kanya kanya na diskarte sa buhay. Nasa sa tao na rin kung magbibigay. Mas masarap magbigay kapag marunong maghintay at di mahilig magdemand

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1 year ago

That is not nice of him as a man one must be a responsible so the ladies can inspire to be like one but he has done many things that can't be forgotten

$ 0.03
1 year ago

This is actually the reason why I lost my respect for all he did to me. I just hope he will start to mature soon.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

That's crazy. My brother also had punched me twice when we were kids. I admit I was in the wrong since I talked back sarcastically to them. But that was it, he never did it again. He asked for money from me too, even now but when I say no, he didn't insist anymore. I hope your brother would change someday.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

My brother would get mad whenever he hear me saying "nah, don't have money here". He thinks I have a lot. To be honest, I barely get a chance to have some cash in my wallet. Most of the time, I don't have any. He just can't seem to understand that to save him from rainy days, he needs to at least set aside in times like this. I have told him many times before to save money but nah.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

That's difficult for him to change if he got vices. When my siblings insist on asking for money from me I just tell them directly that I am not their wallet or their bank and they will just walk away sulking from me. Hehehe.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

May mga problema po talaga tayo sa mga kapatid e. Hays nagbabago ang relationship natin sakanila kapag tumatanda na talaga tayo. 🀧

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Hayst. Sinabi mo pa. Kaya nga sabi ko dati, kung pwede lang iswap to, swinap ko na.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Despite he did almost every wrong to you, you was and is very nice and kind him. In my point of view you the best sister. No doubt he was hard on you, he kicked you out from boarding room, threatened you with a knife you don't feel him an enemy. It says you have indeed a good and sweet heart. I wish you were my sister, you would see me how to care a sister, and especially like you.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Well, there were actually times that I just wish I had a different brother but it's either you live your entire life with regrets or just learn to embrace it. I'm not the best sister but I guess I'm just trying to play safe.

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1 year ago

In my point of you are best. If not best maybe a good one but you are...

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Naku! Buti wala akong Kuya, akala ko pa naman protector sila. Sa tv lang yata yun nangyayari. Sarap batukan ng Kuya mo heheheh

$ 0.03
1 year ago

HAHAHA. Kaya mas close ako sa ibang lalaki kesa sa kanya kasi yung mga barkada ko na lalaki, mas concern pa.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Naunsa man na imo igsuon oi. Aku sa imuha, di jud naku na sya pasugtan puyo sa balay. Please sis, say no.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Lagi sis. Ako sad gi ingnan si mommy kay kani akong inahan utro sad maloloy on sa iyang anak. Ako gali usahay ingnon pasagdan akong kuya total naa man na silay trabaho, ang tubag, makarelate ra mo kung naa na kay anak. HAYST.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

di mo man mabasul si nanay mo sis kay inahan sya,hehehe. kaya ikaw na lang ba, say no jud. Ii's yoyr house, your say. Basi unya palayason ka naman nya sa imo puloy an.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Na bwisit kog Basa coz I can relate. Wa nuon toi work akong manghod laki sauna. Puyra gaba lang jud.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

HAHAHA, daghan jud badlungon na mga igsoon. Bantog kay pamilya, abusar kaayo.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Don't let him stay in your new house. Cut off toxic people in your life gyud.

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1 year ago

Abusado kaayo oi.. Ako sya ge cut off sa akong life. Di ma da. I have my own story pod Mao nang nag self isolation ko sa palawan.

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1 year ago

Waaaah I am sorry ate pero naiinis akooo sa kuya mo 😭. Bat naman ganun. Dapt sya pa nga protector mo eh. I can't imagine na may ganyang kapatid. Curious tuloy ako na if buhay yung kuya ko, ganyan rin ba sya πŸ€”. Anyways, regarding sa possible na pag transfer niya sa house mo. You can decline namn po siguro since house mo yun. I just don't like the idea of him living with you. Natatakot ako sa pwede yang gawin sayu pag galit sya ate :(

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Kung mabait kuya mo, wala kang problema if ever. Kami kasi, since bata talaga e. At yes, ayoko siyang patirahin para iwas sa gulo. Mahirap na rin kasi pag nasanay siya at hindi pa naman kami magkasundo. Ang ending ako ang hindi magiging masaya sa sarili kong bahay.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I'm not that close with my sis too when we were kids but as time passed by and we grew older, thr boundaries were not already there. We learned to love each other and be close to each other. In your case, your brother somehow has the problem, you can see it by not being able to provide for his own family. He has his own family but still asks money to pay for his items ordered online. Hmm. Irresponsible guy indeed. Make sure not to be hurt and not to get close with him again. If he is not sincere, he will just get all your money.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

He's really annoying. He has a decent job but still thinks that it's okay to keep asking for money from our mom. He also thinks I have lots of cash when I barely have money. I do have BCH but I barely cash it out. And I hate it when he keeps using the term "family" as his excuse.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Grabe naman si kuya mo madam. Kala ko pa naman okay magka kuya. Sa palabas lang ata sa tv sila mabait. πŸ˜…

$ 0.03
1 year ago

HAHAHA. Ang dami kong friends na 1 or 2 years lang ang gap tas babae yung sunod, araw araw talaga sila mag away. Kaso yung kuya ko lang hindi nag matured kaya until now, nag aaway pa rin kami.

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1 year ago

Well, siblings are meant to argue and fight, but its the duty of the older brother to protect his little sister, I remember back then, I'm sure if my little sis had the opportunity to poison me, she would have, but I really treated her bad and it made me feel really bad thinking about it, but now, we are best of friends, I make sure she enjoys anytime she comes over to my place, and I do send her money so all those preying boy would stay away from her... I hope your brother can really change and treat you nice cause you're really his mom

$ 0.03
1 year ago

You have a lucky sister. My brother doesn't do that. One time, I asked him to drive me to the vet coz my furbaby was sick, he actually drove me there. But the moment he was so upset coz whenever he asked me if I have money and would usually say no, he would keep reminding me about that day where he took me to the vet.

The thing is, I rarely have cash. Every time I got my salary from working online, I just use it to pay my bills, and he will never understand that.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

I understand your point, well I'm sure you will get better, I'm here to support you

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I almost turned cat and dog with my brother, we do fight every single day and at the same time I do beat my kid sis every single day... She once hated me but that was in our youthful age, but now I thank God that we are all cool now

$ 0.03
1 year ago

I envy you. I just wish my brother is like that. I mean get matured as he aged but so far, he's still the immature one that I've known since ages ago.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Just give him time and prayers am sure everything will be OK

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ok lng sana khit unorganized xa, sana lng d xa nagbubuhat ng kamay at pala away sau and marunong sana xang maghandle at manage ng pera nya pra tulad mo magkabahay din xa

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Hayst. When it comes to pera, ewan. Dati, single pa to, sabi ko ako hahawak ng pang savings niya kahit 500 per payday. DAhil when it comes to pera, masasabi ko talaga na hindi ako na tetempt. Ayun ayaw so ang ending ilang araw lang after payday, manghihingi na dahil wala na raw siyang kinakain. Sus, grabe stress ko talaga dati.

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1 year ago

For sure this is a trauma for you sis and I envy you cos I can still feel the love of you to your brother. Same tayo, I have my big brother too and I am the one who always nagging him but when I read your story, it made me realized how bad I am to him. Tsk, nahiya tuloy ako sis.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Normal lang talaga na mag nag tayo sis. Gets ko yan lalo pag alam mong di naman nag eeffort mag change. Alam mo yung, mas matured ka pa mag isip kahit mas bunso ka. Hayst. Sana lang talaga di ako magkaproblema pag lumipat na ako. Nakakahiya sa mga kapitbahay talaga.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ay, ang sad Naman, ako at big brother ko close kami, pag malaki delehensya Nya namimigay Ng pambili Ng gatas sa mga kids, Isa lang din deperensya sa kanya, lasingo Inu ubos Pera Nya ngunit di Naman nang gugulo. E pray mo lang yang Kapatid mo friend, mag bago din Yan someday.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Yung isang kuya ko, mabait siya pero yun lang hindi na malambing since nagka asawa't anak na. Gets ko naman din. Pero etong isa lang talaga problema ko. Buti ka pa, kahit lasenggero, di sakit sa ulo.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Oo Nga, pinapagalitan ko Nga palagi, knowing older brother ko Yun, di naman din nag tatanim Ng sana Ng loob. Sige lang friend, extra careful kana lang.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Oh I recognize your feelings, I don't really get on with my brother either. He's just a bit of a jerk to be honest

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Some brothers are just bullies. They think they can just do anything they want and you are just expected to oblige.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

This is so bad of him as a human to do such to his own sister. Not to the extent of threatening with a knife. Just try avoiding his as much as You can.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

This is why I stopped arguing when things turn to heat up. Better stop than made him super angry.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

He really behaved badly with you, but still you are wishing him best in life. I hope soon he can transfer to his own home.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

I do hope so too. I just wish they will consider having their own house soon.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I felt touched reading this and speechless at the same time because of how he has treated you, I wouldn't want to interfere in family issues but you know what's best for you and shouldn't allow anything that would deprive you of peace and happiness around you.

God has lifted you and that's enough reason for you to know that whatever comes your way, he will be ready to fight your battle. I don't have a sister and I always wish I did, it would have been great if we are siblings. I do pamper you every day.

$ 0.05
1 year ago

Aww, that is so nice of you, but the problem is, I'm more older than you. HAHAH. Actually, I have my other brother who used to treat me like the baby girl in the house, but that was so long time ago as he got his own family now.

Anyway, I will just explain to him that I can't allow him to stay here for too long coz if he gets comfortable, I'm sure he won't leave. I don't mind if he knows to clean his mess, but he lets mom do everything and that annoys me a lot. Well, I hope he will finally find a temporary place for them so he doesn't have to keep coming here.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Nahhh just tell him to have his own house.. be the boss on your own home. Kairita nmn yang kapatid mo

$ 0.03
1 year ago

Kaya nga. Sinabihan ko na mama ko na backupan ako if ever. Kainis pag ginagawa kang cast out sa sarili mong territory.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

How dare he do that to you? 😑 At first, I thought it was a casual tom & jerry fight. But now I understand that things went off limit.

$ 0.03
1 year ago

And this is the reason why it's better for us not to live under the same roof for a long time.

$ 0.00
1 year ago