@bam94
@bam94
Mum: Come on,John, eat your breakfast; you'll be late for school. John: I don`t want to go to school. The teachers don't like me, the children don't like me- even the caretaker doesn`t like me! Mum; All the same, you must go. John: Why should I go? Mum: Well,for one thing you`re forty five years old, and for another your the headmaster.
@bam94
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said, "You're beautiful!" and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said "You're cute!" Well, the wife was disappointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute." She said, "What happened to 'beautiful'?" His reply was "The…
@bam94
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. But teach him how to fish ! .... ... and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day!
@bam94
After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'innocent' to 'guilty' of the charges." The judge angrily banged his fist on the desk. "If you're guilty, why didn't you say so in the first place and save this court a lot of time and inconvenience?" he demanded. Finley looked up wide-eyed and stated, "Well, when the trial started I…
@bam94
Our supermarket had a sale on boneless chicken breasts, and a woman I know intended to stock up. At the store, however, she was disappointed to find only a few skimpy prepackaged portions of the poultry, so she complained to the butcher. "Don't worry, lady," he said. "I'll pack some more trays and have them ready for you by the time you finish shopping." Several aisles later, my friend heard the butcher's voice boom over the public-address system: "Will the lady who wanted…
@bam94
Hey, today a crypto joke! It's from my new book with over 100 of them: Q: I heard you started a new cryptocurrency? A: Yes, I named it CowCoin! Q: Why? A: It uses proof-of-steak. My tweet about it is here: https://twitter.com/Salazar26617306/status/1493356808236371973
@bam94
Child logic! A group of kindergarten children were on a class outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, tacked to a bulletin board, of the 10 most wanted men. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. "Yes," answered the policeman. "Well," wondered the child, "why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?"
@bam94
It's sunday, let's chill, relax and have some fun.. here is a nice meme for you. If you're into more crypto jokes check out https://jokes.coin-to.win/ or if you want to learn about ways to have fun with cryptos there is this: https://rcalvi.medium.com/9-ways-you-can-have-fun-with-cryptos-c7f7fc7d66b7
@bam94
A worried Mrs. Melchnik sprang to the telephone when it rang and listened with relief to the kindly voice in her ear. "How are you, darling?" it said. "What kind of a day are you having?" "Oh, mother," said the housewife, breaking into bitter tears, "I've had such a bad day. The baby won't eat and the washing machine broke down. I haven't had a chance to go shopping, and besides, I've just sprained my ankle and I have to hobble around. On top of that, the house is a mess and…
@bam94
Micro-joke coming up: Did you hear about the three eggs .. two bad.