Barney
Today is the day we're the human dinosaur born and I am calling her mama 😂. My mom is a very strict and disciplinarian but a hands on mom. She had me when she's just 21 years old and not yet married to my father, I just found out when I saw their marriage license few years ago.
If I remember, she's not the type of mom that always give a compliment. Even I'm one of the fast reader when I was in grade 1, I never heard her saying very good. When I'm in a top 7 even I have an incomplete exams, I never heard any compliment from her. She's not even interested to attend a recognition day when I won in quiz B as a third placer. It's like she's expecting that I can do that so it's normal. Even she's working too, she make sure that all my basic needs are prepared, she even brings me to school on time and until now, I never late to all my schedules.
My mom and I are not close, she put a thick wall between us and strictly mother and daughter relationship only. Even we have that wall, I always try my best to be open with her, not directly but I always speak loudly like I will be behave and will never have a boyfriend until I get the legal age so that she can hear it and not to worry about me having a boyfriend secretly.
And when Im already in high school, I always wear my father's clothes because it's more comfortable and didn't realize the she was thinking that maybe I am a lesbian. So her eyes always on me. When I got sick, one of my guy classmate visited me, well he's my admirer , and I saw my mom reaction. She's a bit happy and a bit irritated 😂, I know that she's happy because its possible that she's wrong accusing me being a lesbian and irritated because I'm still young to have a suitor. So when my classmate leave, I just talked and say, - I just love wearing big clothes because I can move comfortably, and as I've said, I'm not going to have a boyfriend until I get the legal age.
My mom is not the type of parent that expecting an honor, she just want us to learn and enjoy my school life. Having an honor is just a bonus for her and besides, she's not an honor student too 😂✌️,so no pressure from her. When I graduated a high school, she tried to have a job outside so that she can support my college , but before I finish my first semester, she lost her job and I saw her crying while worrying about my future.
That's the first time that I saw my mom worrying about me, she's not sweet and showy, there are times when I was a kid that I thought I am adopted 😂. I told my mom that don't worry about me. So at the age of 16, I work on woodcraft as a repacker and painting figurines. I wait to reach legal age to get a boyfriend, I mean a legal work 😂✌️.
When I hit a legal age , I got my first job and I always give my salary to my mom. But being strict is still there, like - I still have a curfew and strictly mother daughter relationship. And the funny things is, she still beat me when I go home late 😂. You know what time is my curfew if I don't have work? 9 pm 😂. I even got a boyfriend when I hit my legal age, and she was really shocks because she didn't expect that I will get one 😂. And I have to remind her that we had a deal that I'll get one at the right time and she said yes. And I turn 23, she gave me a blessing to get married but who will I get marry ? I don't have a boyfriend that time 🤦. I don't know If she was goofing or serious.
As I aged, her treatment change and my relationship to her get smooth. But being a mom still there. She keep checking my fridge if its still have food, she keep controlling how I wear clothes. Mini skirt is a no no to her, even exposing cleavage, so I'm still following her even she don't hit me 😂. She still checking my slippers if it's already slippery because she's the one who bought mine .
I grew up in a mom that don't give compliment but I know she's proud of me, she didn't even say I love you but of course, she loves me too. Now that I'm already old and she's very very old 😂, me and my siblings can make a joke on her, but still, there's authority on her voice .. she still a dinasour to me , from tyrex to Barney 😂.
Because of her strictness, I grew up that respecting others time , I never late when I was still employee. I never talk back to elders unless they let me speak or ask my opinion when theyre scolding me. I never act that I'm excited to a souvenir from relatives when they came, actually I am shy every time they visit. I always save money if I want something to buy, because when I was a kid, I always bought my own toy. I saved my money from my merienda and so forth and so on. That's how my mom disciplined me.
Today is her birthday, and I bought lipsticks for us, a red one for me a pink one for her 😂. She even asked what's the brand . I know I'm not a successful person and didn't gave her a wealthy life. But I can take care of her until she grow old.
Happy birthday Ma. Volim te ❤️
A friend
I am a very jolly,talkative person and don't like dull moments. I always make fun of people but I make it sure that they will laugh too and not get offended. I also know how to get along and not kill joy but I make it sure also that it will not repel to my beliefs . I remember when I had my first phone, every time I save others phone number it always start to a friend, close friend, and tol (exclusive to my circle of friends for almost 3 decades).
Even in real life of course, there's a friend, close friends or just an acquaintance. I never called someone a friend that who's not really a friend. It sounds like I have a high qualifications before you become my friend, but nah! I'm a friendly virtually and even in person. In my circle of friends (tropa), me and my best friend who's living now in UK are the most friendly. Well, we have the same character except choosing or taste in guys. Whether I'm with my tropa, close friends or friends, expect that no dull moments with me.
I'm the kind of friend who will check you if you're ok, will support you, will help you if you needed, you can count on and lean on. But of course, all of us have our own life. They said that friends come and go, they change their interest so they change their friends too. But I'm not. I always understand if some of my friends needs space, I even understand if they need a distance including me. I never show how painful it is, because I don't want them to feel guilty, they need my support and understanding as a friend.
Of course if they have their own life, I have too. I focus on my goal, to be a boss babe (chubby 😂🔨). I became busy on my online selling business, I talk to alot of people and I almost no time for my friends. But I always keep reminding them that if they need me, just tell me and I'll leave what I am doing because they're more important to me. That's how smooth my relationship to all my friends. Until one day...
I met a friend in a place where I bring my parcel to send to my customers. At first, were just smile to each other and greeted me because I'm one of their loyal customers too. When I had a rush order, I have to contact that person to ask if they're still operate even it's all saints day eve. We add each other on Facebook and started to talk. It's just started from asking questions, hi and hello, greet each other and boom! We became coco crunch 😂! I mean friends.
I am 7 years older than him so he started to call me Ate ( big sis),But he looks older than me 😂. He's thoughtful, sweet and funny. No dull moments when I am talking (chat) with him, it's either he's the one who make fun of me or im the one who make fun of him. We started to share some secrets, giving each others advice and support. He even gave me a birthday surprised in a restaurant which is my first time to experience.
Oh well, I met all his girlfriends, and all his girlfriend knows me too, they even add me on my super duper private Facebook. Yes, he's a playboy one and it's easily for him to get a girlfriend because he's really goodlooking. But my best friend warn me to be careful to him, coz she don't want me to be taking advantage of others. I tried to make them friends virtually but it doesn't work, it ends blocking each other 😂.
Every time he got a girlfriend, he always saying bad things to the girl. And every time his co workers trying to make friends with me, he say bad things about them too. So me as a friend and big sis, Im always on his side and keep sending him messages that will motivate him. When I am not online coz I want to take a break for a few hours he will text and ask why I'm not online, i should be online because he's broken hearted and he needs me. When he have no time to buy some gift for his girlfriend , I'm the one who go to the mall and buy for him. And I'm happy doing it because I buy myself too 😂 and make him pay for it.
Sounds I have a great friendship with him, nah!, All his girlfriend keep asking me why he treat them bad, why he never post them on Facebook . The only girl that he posted on his Facebook is me, but of course they didn't get jealous of me because they know that I'm just a best friend and big sis to him. Sometimes I caught him telling a lie to me just to get my sympathy. I even caught him lying coz his girlfriend tells me her version. He's always the victim, he's always the great in his story. I'm the only person that he never backstab or make a bad story and spread to others (according to his girlfriends, co workers and guy best friend). But I'm not exempted to his bad mouthing when he get mad or sulk.
He told me and always make me feel that I am a toxic friend that always needy. That I always act like a girl friend that always need his time and message me every day. He makes me feel that I will never met someone like him that always there for me when I need someone to talk with. And he's the only great guy best friend that I will ever meet. The funny thing is, I believed on that and it's stuck on my head. I tried many times to leave him but I always try to understand and giving him a second chance every time he apologized. On my mind, if I stay maybe he will change. But never happened, even his first love back to him, he didn't change. He even talking bad behind his first love back, and the worst is, even his girlfriend have the same attitude of him. They backstabbing each other and both of them drain and degrade me. And I didn't know why I can't exit on this kind of relationship, and I don't know why he can manipulate me. All his x girlfriends advice to leave him, my mind say yes but my actions doesn't cooperate.
I cried to God that give me strength to face this, but what He give was a friend that will help me to leave them. I blocked him and his girlfriend, I deactivated my Facebook account and didn't hold my cellphone for a few months. And even he messaged on Instagram because he got mad when I call him Narcissistic I didn't respond because if I did, he will just manipulate me and unhealthy friendship will continue.
I thought every thing will be OK after I survived on that kind of friendship. But I was wrong, it's like a nightmare that visiting me on my dreams. I even change in terms of friendship. I always thought that I'm a toxic person , that I always bothering people. If people change , i think right away that they tired of me already and wants to replace me . And I didn't realize that my attitude became toxic because of that kind of mentality. I forgot what kind of friend I am before. I let that experience ruined my character as a friend. And because of my bad actions, it brings me pain more and emptiness.
But God is so great, he always use people to remind me that I am loved and I have more time to bring back the old me and cute me 😂. There's no such thing true friends come and go, nah! Maybe they just need space, busy or have their own priority but they're just there , All you have to do is to wait. All of us have a toxic character but true friends will understand and will help you to change not will leave you. And as a friend, you should be happy for your friend even you're not a part of it. What will you do? make things that will make you happy too even they're not part of it, but make it sure that you're always there when they come back.
A true friend is also a gift from God. Let me leave you this..
A sweet friendship refreshes the soul. Proverbs 27:9
As iron sharpens irons, so a friend sharpens a friend. Proverbs 27:17.
Have you said I love you to your true friend today? Volim Te ❤️
@aj_u2