Just an Ordinary Day ...

I promise to myself that I won't write any personal things about me, but here I am again, into drama and ranting what's running on my head.

Most of people are excited to celebrate their birthdays - buying gifts for their selves, preparing a party and the most I envy, they always got a surprised.

If other parents celebrate their kid's first birthday, not mine. The only pictures that i saw, when I am celebrating my 5th Birthday together my sister that will celebrate her birthday too after 15 days, after that, no celebrations at all. Well, i understand my parents as my father was just a laborer and my mom part timer and all their incomes just enough for daily needs, paying debt and bills. So my birthday become an ordinary day to me. I always keep my birthday secret because I know that they will tease me to treat them.

When I was in grade 4, I received my top exactly my birthday and my classmate which is also belong to my circle of friends found out about it and anounced it. My teacher greeted me and tell to my classmates to sing a happy birthday to me . I was really emotional that time and I can't even say thank you right after they sang because my tears starts falling and my voice starts trembling ( crying while typing this lol ) . After that, another ordinary birthday day came.

I am imagining now if someone was excited to my birthday before, because i don't remember anyone. Only a dull greeting and some text just to ask where I'm gonna celebrate my birthday and if they're invited.

Debut ... of course most of girls are excited about it because it's a debut and you're entering the legal age. And this is the time that i prepared some foods for my friends. My mom cooked spaghetti and prepared a salad and my Aunt bought me 2 mocha rolled cakes. And all I remeber is , my friends come one by one , eat and run 😂. And after that, another ordinary birthday day.

When my friends celebrate their birthdays, I am always present and happy for them because another year celebrating friendship with them. We eat alot, sing in karaoke, teasing eacher other and laugh alot, of course there's always reminiscingg from the past. Sometimes, their siblings will contact us to have a surprise for them which is I envy them a bit. I always wondering what's the feeling of being surprise on your big day.

Until I reach 33... I met a guy when I was still in the buy and sell business and had a counter clerk and customer relationship. Because we always encounter once a week for delivery, we exchange FB and had a liitle talk. Those little talk become an hour, and hours, then became everyday, and boom! we became close friends. He learned more about me because he fun to chat with and i already feel comfortable . You know what he did? He surprised me a day before my birthday. He treat me on a pizza hut and asked crews to serenade me with cake. I was really surprise and can't describe what i am feeling that day. But, I didn't know that it will be the start of my terrible friendship to him.

So it was posted on my facebook and my officemates teasing me when will i treat them. So i told them that it was my first birthday surprise and i really don't celebrate my birthday. So when I turn 34, they surprised me a bit with banner and cake. Someone told me that I deserve it because my service as auditor is free. I was like - ok .

What I did after that was, I remove my birthday on facebook and erase all the signs that will point out my birthday. I want to see who will remember it. Well, I have group chat with my circle of friends , so if someone will greet me there, the rest will just follow. But mostly , they always forgot it.

My last quarantine birthday was special too because my FAMILY tribe make a short birthday for me. I hope I can celebrate it next time in person, but I know it won't happen. For sure, that would be fun and they will prepare for it and will make it special.

Its not my bithday yet but I am thinking to make it special on my next birthday. I'll still keep it a secret and no any anouncement but I will make it special . I know God will not answer me yet why Another year for me even I'm not excited 🙈. So I'm going to celebrate it with Him.

Be you, don't be me