November 27, 2022
Have you ever experienced being so drain but no choice but do your responsibilities and duties?
It's been weeks that I'm so tired that all I want in a day is to lay down in bed and just sleep the whole day. I felt so tired and my body wants to relax. Been weeks also that my head is aching bad. I think, I've got migraine already.
Did you experienced being tired and sleepy in the day but during the night you can't sleep even you knew that your body was tired? It is happening to me right now. I mean for weeks, my God! I want to sleep early but I can't because I need to prepare 3 preparations for the class I'm handling. I need to prepare three lesson plans and at the same time three PowerPoint presentations. The reason I need to stay at school for hours after the working hours. I need to because if I'll do it at home, I can't finish all of it because my son will surely interrupt my work and wants my attention. So, almost the weekdays, I and my partner will be at home around 7:30pm or 8:10 pm. What struggles me more is that there's no internet connection at school due to low signal of networks the reason I need to finish all at dawn.
Beem weeks that my body was weak and been weaks I intake medicine just to feel better. A lot of water also helped me but my migraine seems getting worst. Sometimes, I thought of maybe it's better for me to stay home and do my job as a full time mom than work 8 hours a day kn the field. But! But! If I do so, I can't help my partner with regards to our daily necessities especially that my earnings online is not as same last year which gains a lot coz now hihihihi basta.
So now, there's something in me which says I should not took this job and stay home. I am torn really. But there's something in me also says that it's better so that we can have something in the table. Maybe if my substitute duty will be done by February, I will not accept aby job and will just focus on online jobs. Maybe that way I can have a time for myself and won't be stressed all day by handling students. You know, it's stressful to be a teacher nowadays. I am not regretting of having my degree as a teacher, but I am disappointed of how our children nowadays been growing. I mean, they are hard to handle now that you can't even know if your safe enough by handling them or not. Coz you can't touch nor say bad to your students anymore. Aside that they're sensitive, they're also aggressive that I am afraid I experienced one of our co-workers had when one of her students was holding a pointed stick while she's discussing and some are drunk. It's like that I'm afraid to be a teacher now hahaha lol.
Anyway, what I'm saying here is that I am tired yet I can't just stop because there were lots of reasons to stay. One of it is my family's needs and all. Maybe, I will be immune with this set up soon. For now, I'm just new in the field again that maybe the reason for me being tired with my job. You know, it's been three years away from teaching and I am now again new in facing the field after the slumber.
That's all for today giys, gotta go as I need to finish my work now while my son was busy playing. Have a good night and day to all.