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Still dreaming, learning and growing despite of age.

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Avatar for Zhyne06
Written by   226
1 month ago

September 15, 2021

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How old are you? Are you old enough to understand life? To understand every situation you faced everyday? To understand consequences of the decisions you made? Are you still dreaming of things you want to achieve? Are you learning from it? Or are you growing as you dream and learn?

What if's makes me afraid of things and making me not to grow.

When I stopped for five years after high school, I have lots of what if's.

  • What if my classmates went to college and graduate? Then I am here, doing nothing and stays home. This is because we're living in the province and my parents don't like me to work even as a saleslady.

  • What if my classmates already have work after their graduation? Then I am here, still waiting for the right time. I really like to go to college and all I did was just wait coz I can't force my parents to support me that instant.

  • What if they already have their own house and I am just having nothing to be proud of? This always played in my mind before. I don't want to be left behind. That is why i always ends up crying. Coz I want to prove myself that I can also make it. I have a dream that I want to fulfill.

  • What if we all get married but they have good situation and I am not? Since I was afraid of not getting a chance of studying to college. My mind flew over and beyond my control. And I understand it was envy I felt that is why I change it to as a challenge and I need to win over it. I should not be loss with that envy coz it won't give me good future and mindset. If I like to have a good future for my family, I should think positive and make them as my inspiration that someday I will be like them. I learn to accept the fact and wait for the right time.

I can say I am getting older as I am running 28 years old this month. I can say, lots of of my friends told me I am old now. At first, I am offended as I can't accept the fact that I am getting old yet don't have reach the main goal of my life that I want to achieve. But when I thought deeper, I would just smile at them and just tell them that my age may be added but my face screaming I am young hahaha. I am doing that just to make myself not to be stress of what people would say to me. Coz honestly speaking, many would think I am young and I married at the young age without them knowing I am alrady 26 years old when I get married and when I tell them my age, they won't believe and would start comparing themselves to me and would asked what's my secret to stay young. Maybe because I am small and short that is why they can't figure out my true age. I will just smile at them and will say smile always despite the problems raining everyday.

Dreaming, learning and growing.

At this age, I can say I've reached some of my goals. Others would say I am late. Late to have finished my studies, my degree and to have my deploma but for I am not. I always say to myself there are always different situation of every people. Maybe some got it so early because they can afford their studies but in my case, I need to wait for my parents to can afford it. That is why, at the age of 25 I got my deploma and at the age of 26 I got my license. And it's not late for me. All of it was worth it. Each day, I dream to have it all and now I got it. The only thing I didn't reach yet is to be EMPLOYED. Everyday, I dream to become a teacher wearing uniform and holding chalk and ballpen in handling students. I wanna see myself in the four corners of the room where students is listening to me. To be a teacher is not easy. We need to follow steps to become one.

And here I am still struggling to become one. But you know what I learn despite the feeling of being late as it's already two years since I graduated? In that two years, I learned how to be thankful of the blessings I received despite of being unemployed. Coz God never left me with my endeavour. He is always there for me. Before I found noise.cash and read.cash, I was praying to Him to grant me an instrument that will help me stand on my own so that I can help my partner for our family. It is because our ranking that time was suspended. I can say that we have had our money last year but after I gave birth, I admit we needed money as our savings were almost gone coz we have to buy things we need especially for our baby. And God answer my prayers, He gave me an idea and that is to sell goods like perfume, shirts and shoes. I am thankful coz my partner's co-teacher were the one who bought the items. But when I can't manage my time anymore, I stopped coz I need to focus on our son. So, I am not earning for a month and a half. It was the time I was introduced to noise.cash and read.cash at the same time. And God really is amazing coz despite the fact that I am unemployed, I able to save money for the family and able to buy our needs. I able to help my partner also and he kept on saying he's proud of me coz I am not asking him money even if he'll give me his salary. He said that I independent and I can live without fear having no man in life and that what makes him scared. Scared that I may left him because I can give my self what I need. I will just laugh at him and comfort him as well coz I don't want him to feel that way.

At this age, I am still growing as experiences in life taught me everyday. There were times that I decided bad, and consequences really was hard but I am glad that I have a partner who always tells me of what to do coz in that situation, I can't think wise. Two heads is really better than one, we just need ot clear up minds and be openminded so that we can accept other's opinion and ideas.

Experiences in life taught me how to DREAM, LEARN AND GROW.

I experienced hardships since child. Before, I kept on complaing why and why. But as time passed, I learn not to complain instead looked for answers of what to do to make things not complicated and hard. At the young age, I able to know how money should spent wisely. That I should think of needs and not wants. Because of those hardships, I able to dream. To dream because I don't want to stay in that situation. Every time I and mom talked, she always telling me of what are the words I kept on saying before. She said that I am mumbling when I was a child, we walked far just to sell our "Tinagak".

My words was like this:

"Ayoko ng ganito, ayoko mag stay na ganito, palaging naglalakad, balang araw magkakamotor din ako, tapos di ko gagayahin mga tao na di nagpapasakay sa iba kahit nakikita nila na hirap na sa mga dalahin."

"Ayoko dito sa bukid, kakapagod, mainit at makati sa balat. Gusto ko paglaki ko nasa opisina ako nag tatrabaho o kaya magturo ng mga bata."

"Ito lang pagkain namin, walang bigas puro kami kamote tas ulam namin toyo at ginataang langka. Kailan kaya kami aasenso Lord?"

That's what my mom said. I never thought she heard those coz she said, I will just mumble when I am alone and thought no one was listening or around. I still remember I have this notebook, I will write all of my frustrations in life and my dreams also that I wanna become. I just don't know where it is now. But when I am writing on that notebook, I am crying and pour my feelings on it.

I grow as an understanding child. I understand my parents situation that is why I never get mad at them even if they didn't able to give my wants in life. The most important thing is that they give me my needs and my siblings also. They helped me reach my goals in life. And now, it's my turn to fulfill some of my goals in life and give what they deserve.

That's all for today as I need to study a little coz I have an exam tomorrow. See you, everyone. 😉

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Written by   226
1 month ago
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Comments

It's not really about the age coz even some oldies na ung mga pangarap nilang makapag tapos ng pag aaral nagawa pa rin nola kahit may edad na sila. Dream lang ng dream soon, lahat ng mga gusto natin sa buhay ee matutupad din 💙

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1 month ago

Interesting your way of maturing in life. I can only tell you that you still have a long life ahead of you. Every stage of it should be lived to the fullest. It doesn't matter how old you are, as long as you keep a young spirit. I recently wrote an article about how I celebrated my 40th birthday 5 times, it was a humorous way of looking at that stage of my life and then how I moved on to my 50th birthday without being that age.

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1 month ago

somehow I can relate with you, I also stopped for 2 years after I graduated in high school for the same reasons with you, I have same what if's too. And the things you mumble, haha that's y words too, Living in "bukid" is hard, That is why I promised myself I won't be having that life in the future. Though I got my diploma behind compare to my classmates, still I made it.

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1 month ago

Habang may buhay wag mawalan ng pagasa. Tiwala lang palagi sa panginoon. Lahat ng problema malalampasan natin basta kasama siya. ❤😊

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1 month ago

It isn't too late and I want you to remember to be grateful for who you are today. Though you might not be where your mate are now but just know you aren't where you aren't supposed to be. We all are different from each other. Our situations differ. Let's be thankful for what we have and what we are. I am also 27yrs and in few months time, I will be 28 and my mates already graduated. I am still grateful for where I am today. Be fine and keep trusting God for the best.

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1 month ago

Yes, I am always grateful Princess. ☺️ And I will always trust and believ in God for his plans for me. ☺️

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1 month ago

Ako ate, naa pako's taliwala sa maturity ug immaturity. Naa man guy mga instances sa atung kinabuhi nga dili jud malikayan nga mugawas atung pagka-immature. Ahw baw laman kaha sa inyuha nga part. Mao man na sa ahu.a. Hehe.. Mu-23 nako pero sometimes ahung buot murag mao pa'y pag 18. HAHAHA

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1 month ago

I've also graduated from the university but the situations in Nigeria my country has made it so difficult that getting a job is like trying to procure a visa to a western country of Europe for greener pastures. Here in Nigeria, if you are not connected to the so called high and mighty, then I'm afraid the bad system doesn't recognize irrespective of your presumed academic and moral input in the economy

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1 month ago

That's so sad to hear. 🤧 Hope you are doing fine and will able to use what you had graduated for. ☺️

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1 month ago

Well I think it happens so my dear and that's why I'm in read.cash to at least earn a living but the most annoying thing is that my account was flagged as spam ever since the past 11 months which has made it more than very difficult for me to earn here as situations are becoming more and more troublesome for me to bear. Maybe, I'd leave this platform to at least give myself a break since the read.cash platform doesn't value my input here as much as others don't also value it as well. I'm really so weak, tired and disappointed in these whole thing as I now have just my empty self to pity. It's really painful to be honest

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1 month ago

Yes, I am mature enough to understand all the problems of my life. And I had a willing power to face those all problems. Yes, there are many things many dreams which I had still, to achieve. I appreciated that you didn't lose hope and you faced all your problems.

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1 month ago

Thank you my friend i need to coz if not, I will not grow and won't able to achieve my goals. ☺️

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1 month ago

I am glad to know that the hardships you faced has not made you hopeless, but still you tried and develop yourself as a strongest being. Now the both platforms are helping you to support the needs of your family.Wish you good luck for exam.

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1 month ago

Thank You farah. Superb! These platforms helped me a lot. ☺️

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1 month ago

I'm so proud of you ate cause you understand your situation since childhood cause there are lot so people ther complaining about hardships in life and asking a lot on their parents even though the life is difficult. I'm glad that you've finished college and got a diploma, don't mind those people mocking and degrading you, kill them with silence and show them what they've got on belittling you. Anyway, goodluck to your exam and study well.❤❤🥰🥰

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1 month ago

Thank you Chi.. Nakakataba talaga sa puso mga comments mo. ☺️ More blessings din sayo. 💜

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1 month ago

Yay, Goodluck sa exam mo bukas mare ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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1 month ago

Thank you mare. ☺️ Sana e grabt ni God ang prayers ko. ☺️

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1 month ago

Ganyan din ako dati mareng. Nung nagstop ako after ko grumaduate sa SHS ganyan din mga iniisip ko noon, gustong gusto ko talaga magaral pero now parang mas gusto ko nalang muna mag ipon. Para maka tulong agad kay Mama. Hindi naman race or karera ang pag gragraduate pwede kapadin naman mag aral ulit kahit ilang taon kapa. Mga matatanda nga nakakapag aral ng high school eh at isa yan sa di ikinakahiya. Kasi achievement parin naman yon. Naranasan ko din macompare pero di lang naman pag aaral ang magiging dahilan para maging successful tayo, hanggat meron tayong kakayahan para dumiskarte sa buhay. Magiging successful din tayo. Tiwala lang 💚 good luck sa exam mo mareng!

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1 month ago

Salamat mareng.kaya nga eh, mga tao lang naman nagtutulak sayo maging depressed ka at mawalan ng pag-asa kaya nga natuto ako dati. Sabi ko makisama ako doon sa mga taong naiintindihan ako at di ko kailangan makipagsabayan. Kasi tayong lahat may iba't ibang kayang gawin. Diskarte lang naman sa buhay ang labanan. Kasi aanhin ang napag aralan kung di naman gagamitin. Kung maalam lang talaga ako sa cellphone dati at online, baka ginawa ko na to. Kaso nga lang, ngayon lang kasi nauso ang online kaya now lang nasubok kung saan ang kaya kung gawin na diskarte sa buhay.

Mareng, proud ako sayo. Kasi inuuna mo kapakanan ng magulang mo. Hindi ka makasarili. Tas, madiskarte ka sa buhay kaya alam ko maabot mo lahat ng goals mo. ☺️😉

Laban lang tayo mareng. At thank you 😘

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1 month ago

Just enjoy and appreciate your Life, I think we shouldn't compare our life to others it Alway brings sadness and makes us hopeless. It is great and good to have a big dreams but if that dream doesn't come true then you should not give up, you shouldn't break down or blame yourself. I just follow this sentence said by my mom , Try your best , give your 100% , try to do better without thinking too much or without comparing yourself to others. We shouldn't not compare ourselves to others because everyone is different from each other, Everton has different talent, potential, capabilities etc. Just do hard work Follow and chase your dreams If you live and love your life to the fullest then you will definitely achieve what you want to.

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1 month ago

Yeap, I already learnad a long time ago. ☺️ When I wasn't able to went to college that instant. I just felt that comparison jsut after high school grad but as time passed, I did understand the situation that is why I learned to wait and work on my own pace. And I am proud of what I've done in life. ☺️

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1 month ago